all grown up.

i started this blog when i was 15 years old and in year 11 at school. 
i was studying very hard for my GCSE's, recovering from my lobectomy and enjoying the last few months of school with my friends. i planned on going to sixth form, going to Huddersfield uni and becoming a child psychologist! i wanted to be a primary school teacher but infection risks are a little too high in that profession for someone with my illness. i could walk miles without needing any stops to catch my breath and oxygen at home was something i never even knew was a thing people needed. i love sweets and could eat as many as i damn well pleased! i had 6 best friends, emma, Aimee, chloe, shaun, pippa & becky. i wanted to learn sign language. i loved spending my evenings on msn chatting to my friends from school. i thought i fancied a couple of people but that was completely new to me having never had a boyfriend or even been remotely interested before. i could not flirt to save my life. i wrote in this blog daily! i had home IV's which my mum did for me every 3 months for 2-3 weeks. i could do the excercise bike on level 3-4 for 15 minutes none stop with no oxygen. i had been to tons of wedding but no funerals. my favourite book was the host by Stephanie Myers. my favourite film was 50 first dates. i only needed 4units of slow acting insulin a day. Blood sugars range from 4-7. I had never had a hypo or high blood sugar! i had no idea how i want my future to be. i loved my life!

i'm now 21, i have 6 A-C passes in my GCSE's, i got..
A = English
3 C's = Science
3 C's = ICT
D = Maths
D = R.E
F = History
G = Geography
i dropped out of college after 4 months due to my health taking a huge decline! i have never gone to uni or had a job. i am oxygen dependant and can't walk from one room to another without getting very out of breath on oxygen. i use an NIV to sleep on to help me breathe and my carbon dioxide levels normal. i am now not allowed to eat sweeties anymore :(
i have been engaged for a month and a half to one of my best friends shaun! i still can't flirt to save my life. I've only had two boyfriends and that includes shaun. i have one other best friend emily. i am learning sign language at the moment and can so far sign the basics; including, the alphabet, numbers 1-100, basic greetings and colours. i love spending my evening curled up on the settee at home in my pyjamas! i rarely updatet this blog! I have IV's in hospital now every 3-4 weeks for anything from 3-6 weeks. however my last admission was only 2 weeks for the first time in over 2 years! i use 15 litres of oxygen to do 2 minutes on and a minute rest at level 1 on the exercise bike and that is so hard some days!! i have still been to lots of weddings but have now been to 3 funerals. my favourite book is the fault in our stars. my favourite films are 50 first dates and the fault in our stars. i now need a variable (depending on carbs) amount of fast acting insulin with everything i eat and have 20 units of slow acting insulin in the morning and 28 units in the evening. high blood sugars are a regular thing on my admissions and hypo's feel disgusting! my highest blood sugar has been 29.8 and my lowest 1.5
I've been on the transplant list for 1 year and a month! i know exactly how i want my future to be.
i love my life so much more than ever right now :) 

my 21st birthday was incredible. everyone made it so very special for me and i shall always be thankful and appreciative of that. 
plus.. I'M ENGAGED!!! :D 
no wedding plans as of yet though, i like how we are right now & we have a huge amount of saving to do yet!
i have just gotten out of hospital and i'm currently feeling the best i have felt in a while.. long may this feeling continue!

i just felt like writing a little blog after reading my very first post yesterday :)
felt like a little comparison would be pretty good! here are a few photos ....

new lungs?.. i'm ready for ya! ❤️
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