DAY 18

Pearce ward has no room for a little one :(
I really need that bed though, coughed none stop all day and feeling no better for all the sputum i have moved. It's like i am drowning in it!
As much as i shift it, it just keeps coming back. Nothing helps,
oxygen doesn't help, inhalers don't help, nebs aren't doing anything. I'm just stuck!

Day 18:- Sunshine..

I couldn't get a nice shot of the real sunshine outside on my phone's camera so just took a snapshot of my weather app which shows today had been sunny but cloudy at my dads.

I was in the bath tonight and i thought, what can i talk about that's to do with sunshine and weather?
I don't really have anything up my sleeve so I'll just keep typing and see where we end up.

Been thinking of things to do to set my sights on and look forward to this year. I've got no plans whatsoever.
I really want to go to a cottage somewhere. Don't want nothing hectic, just a proper chilled out time. I guess it doesn't have to be a cottage, i just wanted somewhere warm with heating, electricity and warm water with a bath and i would be thrilled.

I think i would like to give printworks in manchester a whirl too.. maybe not at night, maybe just a cheeky little afternoon trip. I guess you never know till you try do you?

I think i would like to go to little villages that have cute little shops and tea & cake shops and eat fish and chips.

I want to go for drives on a Sunny Sunday with music on, just driving round and round with nowhere to go.

I say all these things and don't usually do them but i think i need to start. Wasting time just doing nothing and I'm losing my mind. It's boring now. I just want to give it a go and try it. If i don't like it, i won't do it again will i.

Night night bedbugs!
Sophie xoxo
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DAY 17

My chest has felt absolutely rubbish all day long.
My plan is to call them and see if they have a bed, i don't see the point in waiting for my afternoon clinic appointment if i intend on going in anyway.
Back to costa del pearce again, they want to try me on some new things so hopefully something new will stir things up in the right way! My course starts a week on Monday though so i am hoping they'll allow me to sneak out for a couple of hours Monday night.. finger crossed!

Day 17:- i wore...

I never like doing these photos.. i am not very stylish whatsoever. I am comfort not style :')

First up, i don't have my shoes on here but i wore odd socks and dark blue converse on my feet today. I wear odd socks more often than not, i just feel better when they're an odd pair then when they're matching.

It's something that niggles me like the volume being on a number that doesn't end on zero or five. If i don't see the number, i don't care but if i know it's not on zero or five.. it just irritates me and unsettles me.
I think we all have those funny glitches. I have a few more things that i didn't pick up on till somebody else did, they calmed down for a while but i notice I've gone back to where i was again lately. Maybe I'll tell you them one day or i might just keep my random habits to myself like the freak i am at heart <3

Next i have dark blue high waisted, denim jeans. Jeans that i completely left the house with them unbuttoned today and went on with my day till SIX this EVENING (6PM) before i realised i hadn't fastened them up.. who does that?!
Unbelievably.. they're my comfiest jeans, even when i remember to fasten them up... -_-

Luckily, i was not commando with my jeans undone and i had undies to match my bra. The sock rule needs not apply to pretty undies ;)
It's just a sock thing.

Finally, the most softest, warmest, comfiest, oversized jumper that i own to keep me warm bought from republic which i have heard is closing down!!
There will be no shops left to spend all my pennies online shopping when in costa del Wythenshawe soon!!
Then how do i pass the time??

The only make up i wear is a tiny bit of blusher on my English rose, white face, a little black eyeliner to define that i DO have eyes and curled lashes with a lick of mascara on each top row!

I used batiste cherry dry shampoo as i could just about manage to get myself dressed today.. let alone, wash, dry & straighten my hair!!
It's a hell of a lot of effort being a lady. Effort that i simply don't have at the moment with this chest of mine.

Bad lungs.. Very bad lungs!! Naughty!!

Night night bedbugs...
Sophie xoxo

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DAY 16

Today i took a day off sick and so did my dad. We watched films and did nothing. I made chilli chicken, chips, onion rings & peas for tea and my dad didn't trust my cooking so left the chicken.. CHEEKY!!
I can no highly recommend "wreck-it-Ralph!"
It is brilliant and i loved it alot; i'm a huge disney & pixar, animation fan though.

DAY 16:- Around town..

Realised that i don't actually go outside that often or atleast i don't take pictures outside :')
I get too cold in the summer, inside.. with a jacket on! Imagine what i am like when it's cold out.

Seriously though, this is the best photo on my phone i could find. It's roxie in "a" car and if memory serves me right, we're parked outside an English chippy called Fridays. Yum!! I love English chippy the best for chips & curry and chips & gravy! Unbeatable.

There's not much sight seeing in Oldham town really. People call it something rotten but i am a true home bird and hate being out of it. I don't know if it's because that's where majority of my family are so it just feels safe, secure & home or whether that's it.. it's just simply home?

I lived in Greenacres for a while, then lived in Moorside from the age of 9 or 10. Home feels like a strange word at the moment. Don't really want to go into too much detail but i'm just not feeling it. Just niggling at me.. what makes somewhere home? What happens when what you thought made something home.. changes and it's different now?

Hate changes. I am somebody who really, really, severely struggles with change. Emotionally, physically struggle with change. Hate changes!

Night night bedbugs
Sophie xoxo
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DAY 15

Chest feels so crap. Heavy. Struggle. Hard Work. Nothing Moves. Eurgh!!!

Day 15:- i dislike...

I love the peace sign. Don't know why, i just do.
What i dislike or I'd go as far as saying hate is losing things. For someone who hates it so much, i do it an awful lot :(

I don't know anybody to do it as much as i do.
I lose silly things that aren't of any use or importance, that annoys me.
I lose small things that an easily be replaced but have sentimental value that can't ever be, that upsets me and i find myself in an overwhelming flood of guilt for some reason.
I lose huge things that i guess can be replaced in a different way but to you, in your heart are irreplaceable, this makes me feel so grief stricken.

I think i am someone who brings myself down most of the time, i put a huge amount of responsibility on my shoulders for things that aren't really mine to be responsible for.
I see myself as someone who carries a hell of a lot of weight, one if those weights being guilt!!

I don't know what it is with me and that emotion but i find it anywhere & everywhere. In places there's no need for it to be; and it attaches itself to me like i am a packed mule. I don't know why i do these things to myself!

I lose a lot of things and i dislike this very much! Better to have bad luck than no luck right? :S

Night night bedbugs
Sophie xoxo
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DAY 14

From a bitter little heart...
"Happy Valentines Day!"

Day 14:- Love is....

Hard. Love is hard.
The best time of my life.
The worst time of my life.

Love isn't what it is supposed to be anymore. Times have changed and people have changed with it.

It isn't cherished as much as it should be.
It isn't appreciated and acknowledged as much as it should be.
It isn't protected as much as it should be.

Love is a word that's thrown around much too loosely.
It's something that shouldn't be said unless meant. It's something you want more than anything and so you work for it and put everything into it. It's something that can bring the most euphoric joy and then cruelly take that warm, sparkling glow and make it very dark, dim and cold.
Love is special, it's hard but it's so very special.

Night night bedbugs
Sophie xoxo
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DAY 13

So... did you watch it?
The itv 'from the heart' campaign showed two programmes tonight.

I personally think it has got a ton of people talking about organ donation which is exactly what is needed.

Lets get rid of the taboo of death! It's a natural, unavoidable occurrence. There is no way around it, it is just a part of life as living & breathing is! Unfortunately, it's a very emotional, grief stricken part too but truth of the matter is.. it happens!

it's happening a hell of a lot more than it should unessescarily all because organ donation is in a serious lack of publicity & understanding!

Think about it & Talk about it! That's all.

Come on England, pull ya finger out and lets get an opt out system in place!!

Life life then give life!

Day 13:- Sweet!

Today i baked for the first time in a while and i made my favourite childhood cakies.. Tom & jerry cakes!! YUM!

Best get my beauty sleep, i am expecting a ton of mail tomorrow ;)

Night night bedbugs!
Sophie xoxo

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DAY 12


Not surprisingly, here I am on day 12 with the last photo being day 6.
I’m rubbish I know but I am here, not sure how long for and making no promises.
I just have a lack of things to talk to you about and I don’t want to bore you.
I’m never in the mood to write… Lost that spark!

Day 12 photo:- Heart

ITV is currently running a ‘from the heart’ campaign, which is all about raising awareness for organ donation. I think it’s a very unexpected, wonderful, long overdue thing to be brought up in the spotlight!

I don’t know what the sudden kick up the butt was for the media to suddenly take the plunge and thrust ORGAN DONATION into the public eye so thoroughly; but I am certainly all for it!!

I think it’s brilliant… in fact I hope it is something that is here to stay.
I have actually heard tons of people talking about organ donation since ITV started this ‘from the heart’ campaign and I know a lot of people have also signed up and are talking to there family & loved ones about it too.

I’ve said it before but I will say it again, I don’t think it is a lack of willingness by the public that prevents people signing the register; I think it’s a lack of knowledge and understanding.

I’m certain this week of publicity is really going to see a boost in the number of people signed to the organ donar register. 
At 9pm on Wednesday Feb 13th , ITV brings together a host of stars for an entertainment special featuring musical and comedy treats from the likes of Rowan Atkinson, Hugh Laurie, Pixie Lott, Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse - don't miss it!

Are you an organ donar?
It takes longer to make a brew than It does to sign up.. quick and easy follow this link…

Be a possible hero! 

Night Night bedbugs

Sophie xoxo
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Hey :)

I missed a day :(
I went to clinic yesterday so didn't even think about doing the blog, totally forgot!

Clinic was okay i had .2 of a kilogram. The doctor said my blows were down but still good for a clinic appointment. I told him i didn't want to go in. Just want to see where i get to by myself first.
Gonna try me on a new antibiotic when i go in for IV's & possibly change my nebulised antibiotic which is good as we all feel promixcin isn't doing it for me anymore.

My appetite is starting to dwindle down now but i just want out. I'm not stupid, i know I'll probably end up back in next week. but at least i'll have given it a go!

Day 6 photo:- Challenge

Yes i got the right picture uploaded :)
It's a set of stairs. How many of you jog up & down these babies like it's nothing?!
Stairs are one of a few enemies and I'd say the past few days they've been my biggest challenge, going down the stairs is okay.. it's getting up them! my heart races & feels like it's in my mouth after the first step. i have to go one at a time, putting both feet on one step at a time and sometimes i walk on all fours up them like a child!! my heart rate shoots up to about 145-155 after concurring them! they leave me breathless :)

Interesting fact?
My physio told me that when people run up the stairs they take a deep breath at the bottom and then hold it till they get to the top without even realising they do it! It's the same when people bend over to pick something up, they'll hold there breath as they do it.
Very random but interesting true fact!

Night night bedbugs

Sophie xoxo
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Hello :)

Today's photo is a self portrait so i thought instead of writing a blog about my boring life.. i would do a little survey and maybe you'll find something out about me that you didn't already know!
Here goes.....

Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet? YES 
How do you flush the toilet in public? 3 TIMES
Do you wear your seatbelt in the car? USUALLY ALWAYS
Name one thing you worry about running out of? TIME
What famous person do you (or other people) think you resemble? ANSWERS ON A POSTCARD PLEASE :)
What is your favorite pizza topping? BBQ CHICKEN
Do you crack your knuckles? YES
What song do you hate the most? GANGNAM SYLE & TOO CLOSE
Did just mentioning that song make it get stuck in your head? YEAH
What super powers would you love to have? TO SEE THE FUTURE
Peppermint or spearmint? SPEARMINT
Where are your car keys? IN MY BAG
Top 3 favourite bands? MUSE, THE BEATLES & MCFLY
What's your most annoying habit? MY COUGH
Where did you last go on holiday abroad? FLORIDA 09
What is your best physical feature? I LOVE MY NOSE
What CD/DVD is closest to you right now? IT'S A DVD OF THE TRUMAN SHOW
What 3 things can always be found in your refrigerator? MILK, JUICE & CHEESE
What superstition do you believe/practice? NO CROSSING ON THE STAIRS
What color are your bed sheets? BLACK & WHITE
Would you rather be a fish or a bird? FISH
Do you talk on your cell phone when you drive? NO
What are your favorite sayings? WHATEVER WILL BE, WILL BE
What song(s) do you sing most often in the shower? DEPENDS ON THE MOOD
If you could go back or forward in time,where would you go? AGE 8
What is your favourite movie? 50 FIRST DATES
What's the last track played on your i-pod? THE BEATLES - HERE COMES THE SUN
How many kids do you plan on having? NONE
If they made a movie about your life, what actor/actress would be you? KRISTEN WIIG
Would you rather die in a blaze of glory or peacefully in your sleep? SLEEP
Do you talk to yourself? REGULARLY

Today's daily photo DAY FIVE:- Self Portrait

Sweet Dreams Bedbugs

Sophie xoxo
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Hey :)

Hope everybody is doing good.
I am feeling like yesterday's blog should have been today's.. with the photo of the day being routine.

This is so rubbish and i am gonna make up for it by continuing Lily's story tomorrow but i am so tired and i have physio to do and nebs to do and just not a lot to say.

I am not in a writing mood today, been away with the fairies a little bit.
Not necessarily had anything in my head, in fact If you asked what i was thinking; I'd have answered you truthfully with the word, nothing!
Just blank.. just zoned out today.

I'm sure i will be back tomorrow though, just one of those days for no apparent reason :) haha

Today's daily photo of February DAY FOUR:- Routine

Well here is the only routine i have! My CF one, it's just an overall glance that i squeezed into one picture for you all.
I do my physio in the mornings before taking my morning meds as through coughing so violently i am usually forced to heave and therefore vomit alot.. it can't be helped and so rather than take my meds before hand just to being them back up and have them void.. i choose to take them around lunch :)

My night time physio unless i am unwell for some reason isn't half as brutal.. i think it's due to the fact that i will have been moving bits of sputum all day so it won't have had time to settle like it does overnight for the morning.
Of course, when my chest is poop like it is at the moment, there's no escaping it. Just got to hope for the best and hope tea stays down!

See you tomorrow bedbugs!

Sophie xoxo
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Hello :)

Hope the weekend has been a good one for you!

I recently became an official college student again! :D
That's exciting for me.

I am certain you all know that i had to leave sixth form college a couple of year ago due to it being too much to handle and constantly being really behind in lessons with frequent hospital admissions. It was so hard and it took all the enjoyment out of it, i was a really stressed student at both school and college.
I've said it before and it's nothing i am ashamed of but i'm a real nerd.. full on geek!
i loved school, i love to learn, i love getting too results and getting things right & perfect. This probably had a bad effect on my health in the long run.

I realised over time that with me being how i am with my stress levels as far as essays and overall results go, a full time college course of heavy tuition and essays and exams is not the right thing for me at this moment in time.
I have also realised that i can not go on much more with every day being the same, having no meaning or structure or schedule other than the CF one. It is going to drive me potty!!

I literally would not know what day if it wasn't for my phone. I know everybody does that sometimes and it can be a funny 'blonde moment' thing but seriously, not knowing what day it is doesn't have any consequence to me as there's no work or meetings or lectures..
every day is a weekend...
every day is another holiday!

sounds lush huh?

Let me tell you, it most certainly isn't!
So i have had a little chat to my social worker and although i am extremly limited on what i can and can't do, i know my limits and i'm not stupid :)

I am going to go to college, just the one night a week; doing a lovely italian cooking course. I am also looking into doing a little volunteer work that would be classed as therapeutic work.. obviously wont be doing many hours and the hours i do will be manipulated specifically for me but it gets me out and about and doing something. Gets my brain ticking again and my social skills back in operation! I NEED THIS

Today's daily photo of February DAY THREE:- Game

I play this game too often as it is too addictive and too frustrating and i love it!
I just can't help myself.. Temple Run 2 the app for my phone. Passes so much time you wouldn't believe which is perfect for me at least it is for now.. my diary is getting pretty damn busy ;)

Night night bedbugs!

Sophie xoxo

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hey everyone,
hope you've had a lovely Saturday! i went bowling today, i haven't been in a while and forgot how much i enjoy it! especially as i won ;)
it's been a nice day but my chest is struggling :(
i am learning to play the ukulele.. i had one a while back but i learn better when someone shows me how. so i have got some help and i just might be the next George Formby ;D
I am feeling a postcard from lily coming soon, maybe Monday or Tuesday. It's long overdue.
i told you last blog that i had got Netflix now so if there's any films or tv shows you think are definitely worth a watch.. let me know! :)
I'm also looking for a new book to fill my boots with, i am willing to give anything a go, i love most things really :)
Gonna go make some soup for supper now!
So here is today's daily photo of February DAY TWO:- Angle

I had no idea what to do for this one.. i did have something in mind but didn't want to look silly lying on the floor in the bowling alley to get a photo of the bowling ball hitting the pins :')
I am dedicated.. but not that dedicated!! haha.
So there she is the star of my blog and my bestest friend in this world; Roxie Wheeler, cuddled up and napping beside me like a good little sister should.
Sweet dreams!
Sophie xoxo

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White rabbit.. White rabbit.. White rabbit!
Hello :)
Today has been a day of rest. I have done nothing but stay in my pyjamas, cough, splutter & sneeze in bed and watch series 5 & 6 of lost on Netflix! I have had my curtains closed and my candle lit and i just had a little breather day where i acknowledged that i am not feeling too well and so rested :) it was nice just cuddled with my puppy, clearing my airbags with my oxygen at hand. i had nowhere to be.
i had my school friend chloe come round tonight for a cocktail & pyjama party but with me feeling like a pooball, i was not feeling up to drinking or had the energy to be the life & soul :( not a very good host!!
Instead i have drank my bottle of coke and supplied her with film after film on netflix.. we have been very comfy in pyjamas and ate pizza though! :D hope she didn't think i was too boring tonight!
I won't lie to you.. i'm worried, i am worried because i have only been out a week and i am already needing to go back in. I'm not lasting anymore and oral antibiotics aren't working.
Need a new plan of action :( QuickTime!!!
Well i shall leave you with today's daily photo of February DAY ONE:- Vintage!

Okay, so sweeties and a candle aren't very vintage atall but i am an average girl from oldham town. I also thought this picture kinda summed my day up nicely. Chilled & Serene-ish! Plus it's instagrammed... InstaVINTAGE! ;)
Night night..
Sophie xoxo

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