let's play catch up & Day 26 and LOVELOVELOVE!

Good Evening,

Well I’d like to thank every one who has gone onto Natalie Frenchum’s justgiving page to donate money for both Nat’s parachute jump and Chelsey’s X-Factor audition. She auditioned yesterday (26.03.2011)
She sang, Adele’s ‘Someone Like You” but unfortunately didn’t get through to the next round. She queued from 2am Saturday morning outside Manchester United’s Old Trafford Football Ground in the freezing cold alongside many other contestants. She deserves a bloody medal. At the moment the grand total stands at £613 might as well round that up to a very nice £1000 right?
Come on... you can’t blame me for trying! I just cant believe that if everyone I know just gave £2 it would be unbelievable just how much we’d get! Blows my mind.

So I was advised recently by the lovely, Woody to have a listen to radioheads album ‘the bends’ as he discovered I love muse and reckoned I would like that album so I’m currently writing this blog whilst having a listen to them ☺
I would therefore, really like to thank Mr. Woody for introducing me to this wonderful album which is currently being downloaded onto my itunes!
I think my favourite might just be ‘iron lung’
I love the composition & music.
They won’t ever live up to muse though.

I just want to quickly mention how special it was for me to be mentioned in Victoria Glen’s blog on her inspirational people. I was very touched that someone who I admire and aspire to be like thought such beautiful things about me. Actually brought a tear to my eye because I am such a softie obviously!
At the end of the day, I just see her as being so strong, so courageous and brave and more determined then anyone I have ever met. She continuously remained independent throughout all the stages of her life. No matter how ill she got she remained constantly dependent on herself and I totally admire that and would do anything atall to be able to be like that when I get to that point. I don’t want to give in and admit defeat I want to fight as strongly as she did and overcome the bad! How much more motivation can you get than somebody who achieved exactly what you want to eventually?
It’s my drive to be able to do it because Tori did and I just can’t ever begin to express how much love I have for the beautiful fiery haired lady! <3
Not much to report other than that so…. On with today’s blog:

Day 26:- A Picture Of Something That Means A lot To You.

This is bloody impossible to choose just one thing so I’m going to choose LOVE!
That’s allowed right?
I love to be loved… doesn’t everybody?
I’m going to write about my major things that I love in all the different ways :)
Yes.. there shall be a few pictures in this one so prepare yourself people!!

I obviously love my mum and dad and as you can tell from the previous blog they are worthy of much more than a few words or paragraphs on my online blog! I love my dad’s ability to make everything okay. He manages to make me feel safe and okay when things just don’t seem it. I love my mums’ ability to make me feel NORMAL! :)
It is there 15th wedding anniversary this in June of this year. I love them with all I got and there love will forever be unlimited and unconditional.
I love you mama.
I love you papa.

Then there is Arran, my boyfriend. I’ve been with him for 19 month and I still get the butterflies and goose bumps. He knows exactly how to make me smile and knows just when I need that little boost. He can read me like a book and there really aren’t many people who achieve that. I’ve been told I’m very hard to read as I’m a great pretender. I have a flawless fake smile and just get on with things and tackle things head on and deal with the impact all by myself. I don’t mean to do it but that’s just how I’ve coped and its adapted and stuck on. Force of habit makes it hard to erase the fake smiles and things. There are no fake smiles with him though. He knows. I don’t know how and I guess I never will but I think it’s special. I’m not the easiest of jigsaws but he’s finally fitting and getting the pieces together now. I’ve never felt this feeling before and I really like it very much and don’t want it to ever go. Yes we are young and I know that but with me needing him more than ever at times… I suppose we can’t help but have a close relationship at 18 years old. When things are real bad or when I am thinking about things and I start to worry… I like to just picture what my life could be like with him in a few years and I get so excited you wouldn’t believe. That’s why I need to stay so healthy. It’s for that future i picture in my head because it’s so bloody beautiful. He makes me happy, he makes me feel special, he makes me feel beautiful and he makes me laugh like no other! My Booshy boy!! <3 I love you.

My sister Bethany is absolutely amazing and although we fight and we argue I would die for the girl. She makes my whole life better and she is my back up support system and she has no idea that she is. When I feel like I’m slipping and starting to fall apart a little... I think of Beth and I think of some of the funny stuff or the real cute stuff and it just helps me get my bum in gear, keep my head up and smile! The funniest kid in the world she is and the most beautiful girl I ever did see. She really is gorgeous... she’s going to break a few hearts I’ll tell you ;)

My other ‘sister’ is Chelsey. So she isn’t in any way related to me by blood or law but she has been there for me more than any other friend ever has and so to simply class her as a friend would be an insult as she is worthy of so much more.
I’m privileged to have her I really am. I will forever treasure her as there aren’t many people who have a friend like Chels. I’m lucky but I do hope she knows that she’s lucky too I will always be here for her. I’ll do anything in my power to help her out if I can. I know I must be a pain in the arse for her sometimes and I often feel like a burden to her but I know she knows that if our roles were reversed I’d do exactly the same for her. She is currently a student nurse and in her second year at uni. She is going to be a fantastic nurse she has all the qualities needed. Chels has a heart of gold; she is selfless, caring, smiley, approachable, helpful, chatty, reassuring and encouraging.
I Love Both Of My Sisters Forever & Always. <3

Obviously this is the love that I have for my gorgeous babe… Roxie Wheeler.
My little girl will be one-year-old next month. I feel as though she is my baby. I love her as though she is my child and when I have a horrid dream that she has ran away or got hurt, I wake up crying! :(
Everyone has a soft spot for Roxie as she is the most loving puppy girl you will ever come across and she is just too cute!
I actually go to bed at night looking forward to my cuddle I know I’ll be getting in the morning off her. She sneaks up the stairs, through my door, jumps on my bed and buries her way under the covers till she finds me and then she just sits with me while I do my physio and coughing up etc.
She looks after me and keeps me company while everyone is out at work & school all day etc.
I love Roxie Wheeler! <3

My two favourite non-living things in life are music & writing.
I love how music is truly what feelings must sound like, don’t you agree?
I have a deep and meaningful infatuation with music, it’s something that everyone can agree on. Not everyone reads a book or watched telly but EVERYONE listens to music one way or another.
I think music can act like a mental time travelling device. When you hear certain songs does it take you back to a point in time when something was going on or something was happening. Maybe a break-up or a rebellious stage in your teenage years or a first date or kiss maybe?
I like to dissect the song and find out what the story and meaning of the song is and I also like to sit and listen to the interesting instrumental parts... muse have tons!

Writing is my second love.
I do love writing but I have to be fully and utterly dedicated to it. I am trying my best to stick at it I promise you this. I like writing stories and creating characters more than anything. I like creating these tiny dramas as they just flow and come from nowhere. It’s the planning I hate. If I am writing a story I just write it all out however it flows and then I structure it all etc.
Fictional or non-fictional i love them all.
You can quote me on this as i have said it many times before, but i love how words can have such a powerful effect on you.
They can transport you to a different place, make you feel things you’ve never felt before, make you go through things you’ve never experienced before. Take you places you’ve never been, see things you’ve never seen.
I love how words can awaken your imagination. How suddenly that little kid inside you appears again to paint pictures in your head.
I adore how writers have that ability to make you laugh, cry, inspire, imagine, FEEL things.
It amazes me… after all, they’re just words aren’t they? :)

Okay I think I’d love to finish off this blog with this video by a beautiful and admirable lady named Eva Markvoort. She had Cystic Fibrosis and created a lot of publicity and awareness for CF and Organ Donation over in Canada & the States mainly but she was a big inspiration to people all over the world really. Eva got her transplant but then went into chronic rejection and was placed back on the waiting list but the call never came and devastatingly Eva passed away on March 27th 2010 at 25 years old.
This video shows Eva singing a song that I always sing too and it fits perfectly with today’s blog… goodnight & sweet dreams Eva <3

Take Care, Soph xoxo
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back to my norm and Day 25


Today has been weird being left to my own devices and not having the constant rush of people such as physio, nurses, doctors and dieticians! Back to normal again for a while and it was just abit weird. Loved my cuddle with roxie this morning though…

I took roxie for a walk around the block, started reading my new book, had a chat with Sonia, made pasta for my dinner and did some gardening in the backyard. Now Chelsey, Arran and me are going shopping tonight at the Trafford centre and sneaking in a TGI Friday’s for tea! :D
There are a couple of events coming up. I have mother’s day, my dad’s birthday, Chelsey’s birthday and my friend Chloe’s birthday!
As well as needing a few new clothes myself that will fit! Also I shall need some party dresses this year as we have some big parties coming up!

It’s Chelsey’s 21st birthday on the 4th of May so I am getting her 21 presents so far she has 6 so I’m not doing bad yet. All the little presents are easy and I’m getting loads of ideas for them but it’s just the one big present really that I’m unsure of. I have two ideas in mind so we’ll see. Think I’m going to wait nearer the time to see what happens and how I think it’ll play out.
She has to get me 18!
I thought for a while about this one and I decided to go with all my school memories. They have to be my favourite. I’ve spent most of my life so far in it. On with today’s blog:

Day 25:- A Picture Of Your Favourite Memory

I went to Watersheddings Primary School where my main goal in life was to stay on the ‘always board’ and keep my yellow badge and get chosen to be perfect person on a Friday’s Perfect Assembly so I could wear that red & gold oval ‘Perfect” badge.
It was a pure privilege and everyone competed for it.
I was a cheeky kid in primary school but I had most of the teachers wrapped round my little finger. I wasn’t naughty, just cheeky & gobby but I was clever and I worked hard in lessons so I tend to get away with it. I got a Level 5 in both Science & English in my year 6 SATS and at the end of my school time at watcersheddings I was nominated and won head teachers award, It was the biggest award you could possibly win. I was more than happy!
My favourite teacher in sheddings was either Mrs Booth, Mrs Zarada or Miss Crowley. They were the best!

In Secondary school I was quiet… I seemed to have had a total personality switch with my then best friend ‘Laura Wheeler’ (nope, she isn’t any kind of relation to me, just coincidence!) she was always the timid and shy one in primary while I was a loud and outgoing person. We got into Secondary school and I suppose it sunk in that I wasn’t the oldest in the school and I was so small in comparison to all these other boys & girls. The school itself was massive and I think I was just put in my place by all of it.

I made good friends with a girl named Aimee Burns who I stayed friends with all the way through school. We had our fallouts but for some reason we always-crossed paths and got through it on the other end.
A boomerang almost? Haha.
She was my best friend from year 7-11 and so I guess you can imagine just how many memories I have with her! Some very good times that I both treasure and miss. We have our differences in the past and in the present but I think she knows that I’ll be there whenever she needs me.
We had a massive fallout just as we finished school and we haven’t really spoke properly since, which sucks. Everything happens for a reason though right?
We just needed to grow up and together we were too childish and silly :’)
I think we are different people now, we each have very different lives but I love the girl.

My little, close group of friends in school consisted of:
Chloe, Aimee, Becky, Pippa, Clare, Jodie, Hannah, Lizzie, Rob, Shaun, Tim, Lewis and Ashley.
Favourite lessons in school were, history, English and math. I was crap at maths but I like my teacher and nearly everyone in the class! :D
My least favourite was geography, ICT and Science. I used to dread those lessons!

Finally, I can’t have school as my favourite memory without mentioning the most unforgettable part of it.
We ha our prom at Old Trafford (Manchester United’s Football Ground)
It was a good night that I won’t ever be able to forget and it was the last time I saw most of the people I went to school with all together.
June 23rd 2009 was the date of our prom and my favourite part of it all was the shopping for stuff beforehand and the getting ready part :’)
I had a lime green dress and it was absolutely stunning and I had a really sparkly clutch bag from john Lewis. Didn’t have very high heels though!
Miss Samantha Ogden did my hair and I just loved every minute of feeling special. I genuinely felt really amazing that day.

I really did love school and I wish I could go back. I love how much your grow and learn as a person throughout school. <3

Take Care, Soph xoxo
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homeward bound, plans and Day 24!

Hi, hello, bonjour!

Okay I am finally back and back home.
A quick little mention to something new on my blog, not sure if any of you have noticed it but I now have a new feature to my blog.
It’s a poll that I shall be asking a question to you all every month! I just thought it was something new and fun to add to my little online blog world. Allows me to get some questions answered so I’d appreciate if everyone who reads this will keep and eye out for it and give me there answer :)

Well, after 2 week in there being bored to death I have been let free.. I’m luck it was such a short stay really. Just with me being quite well I got bored terribly easy. Thankfully I had 4 avid visitors to keep me going.
My mum
My dad
My grandad, Emily, Beth and Arran’s mum (Gill) came a couple of times this admission too. It’s lovely to see some new faces and just to have the company. I know the hospital isn’t down the road but it’s 15-20 mins on the motorway. I really appreciate everyone who came to see me anyway.

So i came off the CGMS and the results came back that I was simply having too much insulin and since they lowered it on Friday (I think) my blood sugars have been tons better.
My lung functions have improved since admission, my times are better on the NIV and my x-ray looked clearer.
I have gained 3kg in two weeks and I am nearly back to my goal weight of 9 stone. I love being close to my normal weight! I love looking in the mirror and not seeing my hips bones sticking out, my ribs peeping when I breathed or my spine or collarbones protruding. I love seeing a fuller face instead of such a gaunt, poorly face staring back at me. I love my clothes fitting me better again. I love feeling more comfortable with myself. I love having a wobbly bum. I love my bra’s finally fitting me again! I love everyone telling me that I look well instead of commenting on how much weight I’ve lost.
I just like the chunk!
However, I am not so keen on it simply going to my abdomen and face and nowhere else! My stomach look like a potbelly and my face looks like I have squirrel cheeks. I really would rather have all this then go back to the bones but I’d also like to look a little better proportion wise.
Scrawny arms and chicken legs do not look so hot with a fat face and potbelly. :(

I go either go on the bike, go on the wii or i do a few toning exercises using the fitness ball every so often.. I was thinking of maybe starting swimming?
So obviously baring in mind that I am unable to exercise so vigorously and without 8litres of oxygen I was wondering if any of you have any tips or whether I should just stop whingeing and suck it up?
I am more than happy to do.. I was just curious as to whether I can make my arms look more full and my legs have abit of meat on them?

Anyhoo.. my little babe Roxie had missed me and she hasn’t left me alone all evening even following me into the bathroom when I went for a bath :’)

Got a few things I am wanting to do while I am out this time:

1) Go to my grandad’s grave and make it look nice with some flowers
2) Do my nana Grogans garden with my auntie Sonia (totally volunteered you without asking Sonia)
3) Write some blogs to be published later once this photo challenge is over.
4) Go shopping!
5) Buy my dad and Chelsey’s birthday pressies
6) Go to the grand national.
7) Spend atleast one evening a week just me and Arran
8) Movie day with Sonia
9) Have a brew & catch up with my auntie Max
10) Go to TGI’s again.

Finally before I go on with the photo challenge I’d like to just send yet another quick plug to Natalie Frenchum’s just giving page where all the money donated will be going to the CF Trust! Natalie is my best friend, Chelsey’s, mum. She is doing a parachute jump in June and needs as much help as possible to raise £500. We are so very close to her target and I would like to personally thank each and every one of you who have got your money out and voted for her.. it’s appreciated very much by not only herself but by all of us people with CF which rely on the research that the CF Trust put your kind donations into doing. As an added bonus not only is Nat doing the jump but also Chelsey Thackeray has guaranteed and agreed to audition for x-factor this Saturday (26-03-2011) dressed in fancy dress as a cowboy with a blow up horse. It will all be filmed and I can guarantee the video will be posted on here if we get that target goal of £500 on Nat’s just giving page!
So I am asking very nicely and begging all of you that have yet to donate to head straight over to http://www.justgiving.com/natalie-frenchum

Day 24 had to be a picture of me and one of my family members I didn’t want to choose one! JUST ONE!!
I don’t know if any of you know this but my family is bloody huge and so picking one would have been a nightmare. I had already written about in another blog previous to this one so I put a few names in a hat and picked one out at random. This is who I got.. on with today’s blog:

Day 24:- A Picture Of You And A Family Member

This is me and my cousin Christian. Isn’t he an attractive young man?

I have no photos of just me and him together but I actually LOVE this photo so I’m glad he got chosen out of the hat!

Christian makes me laugh A LOT!!
Like more than any other family member other than Beth. He’s just funny and everyone thinks so.
He makes me smile and I don’t really see him a lot but when I do I guarantee he’ll make me laugh or smile at the very least.
I cant remember myself but I am told when I was born he was in Australia playing rugby so when he came back home he brought me a HUGE teddy koala bear back with him.
He sings with my dad and has done for as long as I can remember from the good old days of Sharples Hall Street con club to a holiday camp place down in Wales :’)
Like our very own Max & Paddy!

He has a gorgeous wife named Lyndsey who is beautiful, intellectual and bloody funny! She’s also MINT at every take that official dance and knows every word to probably each and every one of the songs. She’s a number one fan 4life!
I got chosen to be a bridesmaid for there wedding and it was amazing. I had been a bridesmaid before for my mums wedding but I was 2 or 3 so cant remember it atall. So I felt amazing being a bridesmaid at 12-13 for my gorgeous cousin and his beautiful bride. I felt special and I remember crying sat in church as they said their vows… :’) what a girl! I also remember begging some supernatural force to not make me fall whilst walking down the aisle as it was the first time, flat footed me had ever worn a pair of heels! EVER! I practiced tons and thankfully made it down the aisle without tripping up or snapping my ankle.
I also sang a song for them at there reception that following evening.

I also remember back in August 2008 when I had my lobectomy them being my very first visitors after my op while in HDU at Pendlebury children’s hospital. I was supposed to be going watching rugby league at Wembley as Saint Helens who I support were playing and it was Paul Scunthorpe’s final game however obviously I missed it due to being out cold thanks to the morphine. I think it was the day after when I opened my eyes to see flags that had been given out at the game had overtaken my bed. :)
Christian and Lyndsey were both sat at the end of my bed and apparently he has been pre-warned not to make me laugh. I had tubes coming out everywhere and was quite out of it but I wont ever forget me smiling at all the little flags around me!

I really do love Christian and so if you happen to be out and you see him on your night out buy him an orange wkd for me ;)


Take Care, Soph xoxo
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concerts, justgiving AND Day 23

Hello everyone,

The script was really good last night, i didn’t know a couple of the songs but the atmosphere for “man who can’t be moved” was mental. The arena was packed out! I have never seen it so full... there were no spaces anywhere and the ground floor was standing and that was overloaded with people too. They got everyone to sing ‘the man who can’t be moved’ without any music and everyone did, crystal clear... i bet that was something they won’t ever forget to have everyone singing YOUR lyrics back to you in a full arena!

Tonight i have McFly to entertain me at the MEN tonight... this time me, Chelsey and my sister, Beth will be going. I’m quite looking forward to it really. McFly were in there element of their career when i was in school. I loved them to be quite frank with you all. Not really listened to them in a while though so not really sure what’s coming this evening but my obsession must’ve left me and infected my sister instead. She loves them so i can’t wait to take her :)
The tickets were a Christmas present off me and Chelsey.

Comic Relief did great i hear didn’t they around 74 million?
Shocking really just how generous people can still be even in these hard times with the recession and job cuts. Makes me feel all warm inside :)
As bad press spread in the media about Britain, it’s nice to know we can shut them up when we manage to do something like that!

I want to quickly add yet another reminder for those of you that forgot to go to Natalie Frenchum’s justgiving page. All of it is going to The Cystic Fibrosis Trust. One that is obviously close to my heart :)
You all may think i’m mithering but i’m sure you can understand why. There are a few rumours going around the CF forums that a new drug is being trialled that will hopefully treat the faulty gene. It won’t be the mutation i have as apparently it will help around 25% of people with CF. I think the mutation of the gene that i have will fall into the other 75%.
Either way... The CF Trust needs your help, support and generosity more than ever!
I would deeply appreciate anything you can give. Bloomin eck if all my friends on facebook just donated £1 that would be £210.
How crazy is that?
I’m not asking for a big donation as i know that things are tough as far as finance goes at the moment but every tiny little donation really does go a real long way.
Thank you in advance!

CLICK HERE TO VISIT HER PAGE: http://www.justgiving.com/Natalie-Frenchum

On with today’s photo challenge:

Day 23:- A Picture Of Something You Crave.

Well i go through fazes of things i like to eat... i like things for a while but then i move on and start wanting other things all the time.
One thing that sticks and that i could eat all the time, whenever and wherever is TGI’s and especially there Jack Daniels Sesame Chicken Strips. Just writing about them and looking at the picture is prodding at my festering addiction!

I haven’t been to TGI’s in a while but me and Chelsey usually go quite frequently and at one point we were there that often that the waiter recognised us; and when Chelsey went with her family and i didn’t go, the waiter asked her where i was! :’)

I just like the atmosphere in TGI’s. However, the chicken strips kind of draw me back more than anything.

Take Care, Soph xoxo
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happy red nose day AND the script AND Day 22

Good evening all,

I am hoping you are all well and happy!
I have had a few hypo’s again today... i was slurring my words this time apparently.
I am hoping that once this CGMS is downloaded they can sort me out.
Two hours after my breakfast my blood sugar was 6.0, this was at 11:30.
I decided to wash my hair and i’ll admit it is a little bit of an effort for me, not too hard though as i’m quite well at the moment. After washing my hair, i lay on my bed as i just felt quite deflated and abit knackered. I started shaking, started sweating and feeling really light headed... it all came on suddenly. I knew i was going into hypo so i got up slowly as i was really lightheaded and walked over to get the blood sugar meter. It was awful... i was really unsteady on my feet, stumbling and my legs kept giving way on me. I grabbed the machine and fell back onto my bed. It’s never been this bad symptom wise before. It said my blood sugar was 1.3 at 12.00!

How did it slip below 4 and not be symptomatic until it was hardly existent at 1.3?
How could it go that low within half an hour?
I pressed my buzzer and got given some lucozade, dextro tablets and biscuits.
At 12.20 things had kicked in and my blood rose to 4.0

For the time being they have reduced my slow acting insulin (levemir) from 8 units twice a day to 6 units twice a day and are also prescribing me some fast acting insulin (nova-rapid) just in case.

It is Red Nose Day today and i had been mithering Chelsey to get me a red nose all week and by the time she had time to go and get me one, all the Sainsbury’s near our house had ran out of them! :(
Mum came to the rescue thought by ringing Altringham’s Sainsbury which is near the hospital.
Her and Chelsey went and got some red nose’s so here are our pictures:

Chris Moyle’s and Comedy Dave did 52 hours no-stop on the radio from 6.30 Wednesday morning to 10.30 today. Overall they raised around2.4 million and earned themselves a Guinness world record.
I had been watching it religiously by pressing my red button.. it was addictive and never off my TV screen, i was quite sad when it finished this morning!
I have given £10 to comic relief. I had text into Chris Moyle’s radio show whilst he did the 50 hour radio show twice which cost me £2 that goes straight to comic relief and then i went online and rounded it up to £10 by giving £8.
I like to do my bit :)

Won’t be watching comic relief till late tonight as i’m going watching the script tonight at the MEN Arena with Chelsey and two of her uni friends. I’m looking forward to it now! Haven’t really been thinking about it much but then when my last IV was done and i was getting changed into my jeans i started to get a little excited :’)
On with today’s blog:

Day 22:- A Picture Of Something That Confuses You.

I have so many opinions on smoking. Some may say that they’re very biased opinions and that’s fine but nobody can prove my opinions wrong as i bring a strong argument.
It’s just no good for you is it?
If you way up the pro’s and con’s.. you’d have so many negative things to say about it than good things. It infuriates me that the government make all these laws against it yet it’s still here and their reason as to why?... Tax!
The money roles in whenever somebody buys a pack of cigarettes.

I can’t and won’t ever be able to comprehend why people do it. When they first picked that cigarette up.. did they enjoy coughing and spluttering?
Did they enjoy the horrid taste and foul lingering smell?
Why didn’t they just say “no” to this ‘peer pressure’?
Most of my friends smoked in school and at first before they truly grasped me and my health I’d get offered a cigarette left right and centre and i just used to refuse point blank.
They’d leave and go hide somewhere to smoke this stick of tar and I’d stay in school.
Most of my family smoke and i love them all to pieces and the fact that they smoke doesn’t make me love them any less but i really do wish they’d quit AND not go back to them.
I don’t mean stop for a month or two and go back!!

I just see as though people who smoke take their healthy lungs for granted. They don’t appreciate the good health. They don’t appreciate what it’s like to breathe with good lungs and not damage them. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
Why would you purposely damage them yourself? They keep you alive.
My lungs are damaged and there is nothing i can do about it nor was it my fault they are so damaged. I can’t help that but people who smoke can!
There is also a possibility that the smokers lungs can be that damages that they are then no good to help save someone once they pass away, if they are signed up on the organ donor list.

I would like to know why smoking is so attractive, when everyone i know who has quit (that’s stopped forever Mr Guiney & Miss Ogden!) have said it’s the best decision they made and they’d never start it again?
That’s what confuses me the most.

I guess i’ll just never know huh?

Take Care, Soph xoxo

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Spoke to soon?... AND Day 21

Hello everyone,

So yesterday i told you all how everything was on the up and that I’d possibly be coming home tomorrow... i knew i'd spoke too soon! I told you i wasn't getting comfy as i'm unsure as to just how long this good run will last.

Lung Functions.
My lung functions are a little bit down, it's nothing major and it's still above 1.0 and 2.0 which they love me to be and is still good for me. However, i can't help but be a little disheartened by this. I know it's silly, but i get quite competitive with myself whilst doing it and i attempted to improve my score over and over and over again till my lungs were practically screaming at me to STOP!
On Monday when i did the really good blow i felt really proud and just really pleased that my hard work is paying off; but part of me was a little gutted as i knew this meant that it would be harder to improve next time round. It had improved massively, especially after one week of IV's. Physio was still impressed and happy and told me not to be hard on myself... i can't help it though. Not when i work so hard to get better.

Low Blood Sugars.
My blood sugars have been dipping quite low throughout my admission this time. No reason really as to why and my diabetes’s doctor wasn't concerned atall. Just told me to keep a check on them and have sweets at hand! I had some dextro tablets in my bag so i have been treating my hypo's (low blood sugars) with them. Hypo’s are awful if they’re symptomatic. I personally get ridiculously shaky, i have hot & cold sweats, i feel heavy and i just don’t have the energy to move atall and i sometimes get palpitations. Hypo’s aren’t always symptomatic and that’s when it can be quite worrying!
Today they have been uncontrollable and extremely symptomatic! I woke up at half 7 and my blood sugar before breakfast was 4.2
Normal bloods range from 4.0 - 7.0!
I had my breakfast at 9.30am and had sausage butties with loads of ketchup with some fresh orange juice. My blood sugar pre breakfast was taken around 12.10am and came in at 3.4 so i was given some pure orange juice, had a dextro tablet and ate some biscuits.
They were re-checked at 12.45am they were 3.6... slowly coming back up but after what i treated it with, they should have been back within the 'normal' range. They rang the CF/Diabetes nurse, Dianne.I explained to her that I’d been having a few low sugars in the duration of my admission and that it was unusual for me to have hypo's. I told her that with me gaining 4kg in weight i was expecting my blood sugars to rise and for me to need more insulin to compensate for the extra weight. I suggested lowering my insulin dose.
However, she told me that this can't happen as my HbA1C was high. (This is one blood sugar test that measures the average glucose level over the past three month) She thought about it and asked if it would be okay with if she fitted a CGMS (continuous glucose monitoring system). I’ve had one before a couple of times so i was fine with it. This will measure my blood sugars every few minutes. They will then download the results onto the computer once it’s over and my blood sugars will show up on a graph.
It is a little glucose sensor that gets placed under my skin on my stomach, it stays there constantly until the monitoring is over. It’s attached to a non-inserted transmitter which is a little machine that can fit into my jeans or joggers pocket. I think it stays there for a day or two.
Here is a picture of it...

So i am thinking that i may not be coming home tomorrow as once anticipated. That’s fine by me though as i was expecting to be in till Tuesday anyway. I was a little uncertain about finishing my IV’s before the two week course was done but we’ll see what they say tomorrow... they may allow me to go home later on Friday or maybe sometime in the weekend?
You never know!

Overall, as long as my sugars get sorted out that’s fine by me! On with today’s photo challenge:

Day 21:- A Picture Of Something You Do That Makes You Happy.

I enjoy doing loads of things but what i love doing the most is just reminiscing, just sitting here on my own and thinking back to certain points in my life where i had some powerful emotion or something like that.

I’ve really enjoyed reading my old posts and reflecting on my life and how it is now and how it was back then and it fascinates me. I love emotion and life lessons and the whole aspect of life. I enjoy sitting here to myself and thinking strange questions that i will never know the answer to because there is now wrong or right answers.
Questions such as, “How weird is that each and every single one of us has completely different lives?”stupid question but true. I people watch alot and it totally amazes me. The human mind amazes me... totally baffles me at times. I find myself asking questions such as, “How does our mind manage to store so much information, so many memories and so many feelings?”
This is why i am thinking philosophy and psychology will be ideal for me.

I love thinking and feeling emotions. I love writing these blogs and laying out whatever comes to my head. I love having time to myself sometimes. I love me time. Me time is one of my favourite things to do <3

Take Care, Soph xoxo
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Invinceable Me... and Day 20

Hello everyone,

WOOOHOOO! I figured out how to create a link to the website i am talking about so if you see any websites... all you have to do is click it now instead of having to copy and paste! The three websites on my previous post now have links.
Bloomin 'eck you'd have thought I’d have learnt earlier seen as though I’ve been using blogger for 3 years!
Better late than never.

Today has been ward round day. I have had a good report as i have gained weight and my lung functions are up. It seems to have been the longest ward round meeting in the world; they've been in there from 9am and they walked out at quarter past two!

They’re all extremely proud of me and the progress i am making. I’m proud of myself too... i have come along way since coming here from paediatrics. Things are picking up and i just hope it lasts. The longer i manage to keep off that transplant list the better i think.
I feel really good today, i was expecting to be told I’d need to stay in another week and he said with where i am right now that they’d normally be sending me home but they want to see if a couple more days will make a little difference. I’m fine with that though... i may be out for my trips to the MEN this coming weekend!
So once that was over i went into the gym and did 15 minutes on the bike. It was abit harder than yesterday but i think that was just because i was enjoying having a dscussion with my social worker that i was not happy to be interupted and dragged to the gym!
Therefore, when i was interpted by another physio during my gym session about the 'reflexology lady' being ready to pamper me i was more than thrilled that my 15 minutes turned into 10 :')
The reflexlogy was absolutly lovely! I loved it and could most definatly get used to it.
I was sat unable to move off my bed due to having the cream from the reflexology still on my feet when the art ad crafts lady on the ward decided to take pictures... OF A FIRE EXTINGUISHER!?
Every angle she took a photo, she manipulated the camera lense, she moved the fire extinguiser around.. it was mental. An hour and half she spent and then i decided that i should spend my time blogging instead of being a nosey parker!

I have been thinking alot about part of the post i wrote yesterday, “You see this is how it feels when you’re in this predicament. I feel like everyone is moving forward and life goes on but mine is stuck... i’m in limbo. I’m unable to do something or make something of myself at the moment. I’m in purgatory”

It made me want to have something to do whilst i’m sat waiting for my life to kick off. My open uni course has finished so I’ve been looking on the open uni website and it hit me... how much i love philosophy. How i adore sitting here and questioning things that we have no answer to. Debating and considering all the many possibilities. I think i may have found my ideal course that i want to pursue next. Philosophy and psychological studies. If i complete every module i will end up with a degree in philosophy and psychological studies. I really want to do this, i’m excited to be learning and it’s something that i am really intrigued about. I’m going to have to have a good look into it but after talking to my psychologist and social worker who have each studies philosophy or psychology, they think i’ll be a perfect candidate and will love every aspect of it. I’m hoping to have signed up by June and i’ll be working my first module over the summer as it ends in October but i’m still looking forward to it.

I bought a couple of books on Amazon today.
One is called ‘Sophie’s World’ which is a story book all about the history of philosophy and was advised by my social worker and a book named ‘The man who thought he married a hat’ which is a book about a man with schizophrenia who is adamant his wife is a hat. My psychologist said it was really good. I practically had a psychology lesson off her and she’s coming back on Thursday to teach me some more!! :D

I shall keep you all well informed in what i decide to do.

I’m feeling really good, positive and happy about my life right now.
Things are good but i don’t like to get too comfy as i never know how long this good run will last for..

On with today's photo challenge:

Day 20:- A Picture Of Somewhere You’d Like To Travel To.

I'd obviously really like to visit places such as LA in America, Las Vegas, the pyramids in Egypt, Finnmark but just to see the northern lights, a safari in Africa and of course, Australia!! I wanted to choose something really different though for this blog... because i like being one on my own So i chose............

This is Atlantis The Palm Hotel in Dubai.
It just looks like paradise. Have a look for yourself... http://www.atlantisthepalm.com/default.aspx
I’d love to go and spend a night in the Neptune Suite (maximum occupancy of 2 adults) This room offers:

• King bed
• 165 sq. mtrs.
• Streches over 3 floors with elevator and staircase
• Aquatic themed dining and living area with butler's pantry
• 24hrs private butler service
• Master Bedroom and Bathroom with floor to ceiling windows that look directly into the Ambassador lagoon
• View overlooks the Ambassador Lagoon and Aquaventure
• Free admission for Aquaventure and The Lost Chambers
• Complimentary airport transfers upon arrival
• Complimentary internet usage in your suite

How much do you reckon for 1 night only?!
Okay so not in this lifetime will i ever travel to this place but a girl can dream can’t she?!
Look at how beautiful it is!! :’)

Take Care, Soph xoxo

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Day 19

Hello all,

What a nightmare it has been trying to be able to do this blog. I could not get onto the internet last night when i came to start writing it, this morning i woke up and immediately checked if it was working and it still wasn’t and then just before dinner the internet started again!
I was even contemplating writing the whole blog on my i-phone and not uploading a photo but i felt like that would be pointless as this is a photo challenge! :’)

Meanwhile it’s Day 7 in Costa Del Wythenshawe. Things are going good so far.
I have gained more weight and lung functions have come back up which is great! I’m not very productive sputum wise and overall things are going good. Blood gases are okay and everyone is just happy with me which is good. I’m looking forward to seeing how long i manage to go before my next lot of IV’s.

In other news, i am going watching The Script this Friday with Chels and two of her uni friends and then on Saturday i’m going taking my sister to watch Mcfly with Chels; they are both at the MEN arena and meaning that i’m being allowed to escape out for a few hours on both Friday evening and Saturday evening. Not looking forward to all those bloody stairs though!
Chelsey is getting me a red nose at some point in aid of Comic Relief which is this Friday, i won’t be watching it obviously but i’m going to ask my mum to record it on sky plus so i can watch it when i get home.. i enjoy watching it.
Was thinking of doing a sponsored silence for it on Thursday but feel as though it may be too late by now :(
I will have to do it another time for CF or maybe the charity Starlight!

Yet another reminder about the ‘justgiving’ page for Ms Natalie Frenchum who is doing a parachute jump on the 11th of June 2011 all in aid of The Cystic Fibrosis Trust.
I know times are really hard right now but as little as possible all adds up and is a huge help and greatly appreciated!

On with todays photo challenge:

Day 19: A Picture Of Something That Inspires You.

I suppose the actual card itself doesn’t inspire me, the people who sign up don’t inspire me, the whole thought of transplant doesn’t inspire me, the person performing the operation and the team who take care of you afterwards aren’t my inspiration.. It’s the hope of being lucky enough to have a second chance in life. A second chance of having a life where the quality is better than the one i have now.
Motivate me to keep fighting, keep as well as possible so i can do everything i want to be able to achieve healthily IF i get that chance. It makes me a more positive person about my future thinking of everything i will be capable of in the future IF i get those lungs off an angel.
Just the thought of being able to do something such as go to college, uni, work etc without being held back due to my life being put on hold.
You see this is how it feels when you’re in this predicament. I feel like everyone is moving forward and life goes on but mine is stuck.. i’m in limbo. I’m unable to do something or make something of myself at the moment. I’m in purgatory.

I think positive about having a successful transplant and i get so excited just thinking about how different my life would be. Gives me hope for the life i dream of.
It’s not guaranteed that i will get that second chance as there is a huge shortage of organs.

Eventually my lungs will get tired and they are doing already.. i have had a tranplant assessment and i believe the time to head on the list myself is getting very close.
A friend of mine via facebook has been very inspiring to me.. she herself suffered with CF and was on the transplant list but she eventually got her double lung transplant in May of last year and although it's been a slow and steady recovery the improvement in her quality of life is unbelievable. She still has a way to go yet but it's amazing to see how drastically her life has improved. You can read her transplant story through her online blogs at: http://www.victoriaglen.co.uk
Her name is Victoria Glen and this lady has become a valuable friend whom i look up to and has inspired me to raise so much support and awareness for the crucial need of organ donar's!
It's a massive decision to make to become a donar and i understand how difficult and avoidable the subject is but if people just talked about it and thought about it a little more.. they'd realise that this is people's lives they will be saving. That should be enough to make EVERYONE join, right?

"Would you take an organ if you needed one? Nearly everyone would. But only 28% of us have joined the Organ Donor Register.
More than 10,000 people in the UK currently need a transplant. Of these, 1000 each year – that's three a day - will die waiting as there are not enough organs available."
- NHSBT. Organ Donation Website.

Sign Up!!

Take Care, Soph xoxo
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Day 18

Hello everyone,

I’m writing today’s blog whilst drinking some full fat milk and eating ginger nut biscuits!

First of all before i get into blogging mode... i’d like to point you all in the direction of Chelsey’s mum’s just giving page. She is doing a sponsored parachute jump in June for Cystic Fibrosis and her target is £500 but I’d love it if we could blow the roof off the target and soar up and beyond for her! She is a magnificent lady who just before Christmas quit smoking and hasn’t touched one since all because she took an inspiration from me and i feel honoured that i was able to make such a major impact. I think she is amazing for quitting and actually sticking at it. I also think she is very brave for doing this parachute jump all in aid of finding a cure for Cystic Fibrosis.
Please head to http://www.justgiving.com/Natalie-Frenchum and dig deep for her... i know it would mean the world. Thanks in advance!

Okay well i have had a total mood change today... woke up feeling good and happy! Really happy.
It feels great. I adore waking up in a great mood; i feel like it sets you up for the day and makes everything better. My mum, dad and Beth visited today so that was nice and we had a few laughs and things. I miss them all when i come in here. I spend all my time at home usually so i’m always with them... especially Roxie. We have all day together while everyone is at work and school. Plus she can’t visit :(
They went home before teatime and then Chelsey came and we decided to go on the hunt around Wythenshawe estate for some take away places as teatime at the weekends aren’t much cop!
We found a scrumptious Chinese chippy so we shared chicken chow mein. It was delicious. I’m usually quite fussy with chow mein’s and never get them but i just fancied one so bad. It was a wise decision and i also got the numbers of the Chinese, the Indian next door and the pizza place across the road. Indian and pizza place both have free delivery... GOOD EFFORT?!

My boy wrote me a lovely email today. I’m missing him alot! He has been full of a cold and therefore, been unable to see or visit me for the past week. When you’re in hospital it always seems that little bit longer :(
My email made it all worthwhile though and was just what i needed at the time! He’s feeling tons better now so i’m hoping to get a sneaky visit at some point tomorrow off him. I can’t bloody wait.

On with today’s photo challenge:

Day 18:- A Picture Of Your Biggest Insecurity.

Okay i have a few things i’m not ecstatic about with myself but there isn’t anything i would change because i like having some imperfections, it makes me normal.. as can be ;)
One thing i would definatly change if i could with an instant would be my teeth. I hate them. They’re very straight, fit nicely in my mouth and have never needed any fillings but the colour of them is awful and i’m so self conscious about them that i very rarely smile with my teeth showing. No matter how much i brush them, look after them or anything the colour remains the same and they always have been quite discoloured as far as i can remember. My dentist says it’s due to me being a mouth breather and having so much medication. I think i hate my teeth more than any other imperfection because they are the most obvious. Everyone sees them and there is no hiding them unless i keep my mouth shut; impossible for me right? ;D
Joking aside, i am very insecure about them that even smiling with my teeth in front of Arran is a struggle. I just don’t like them atall. I’d quite happily have veneers or something, anything that will make their appearance much better.

We all have our flaws, my blog ‘Beautiful Flaws’ that you can find using my blog archive and going back to April 2009 which is probably one of my favourites explains a few of mine.
Like it says, i’m not perfect and i don’t think perfection can be defined in the dictionary. I think perfection is perceived differently by each individual. Perfection is never the same in people’s eyes. I love that though! Don’t you?
I think that proves that nobody can ever feel not worthy or beautiful or generally just ‘not enough’ because to someone or many people you’re everything they want and need.
Nobody in this world can see beauty within ourselves but other people can.

Take Care, Soph xoxo

SIDE NOTE: Hi everyone... sorry if you had read it whilst my blogger was having some kind of breakdown. Apparently, you couldn’t see all of the blog and big chunks where missing which is a shame but i think it’s fixed and i hope it won’t be happening again! Thanks V for pointing it out to me because on mine it was appearing normal. Love Soph <3
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Day 17

Afternoon all,

Costa Del Wythenshawe, Hotel Pearce had been quiet yesterday... peaceful?
Everyone was in the ward round meetings. It started off with the usual physio intervention.
It had just been a really weird day. Lows, highs, lows, highs, lows again. I woke up just feeling strange, like something just wasn’t right. I had an okay day really.. my dad had the day off work and so we had a movie day. Chelsey joined us of course!
Still felt a little offish but had no reason to so just carried on and enjoyed my day with my papa & Chels. Tuesday and Thursday are ward round day and there is a huge meeting that goes on involving the whole of my team. This includes; Physios, Doctors, Nurses, Dieticians, Psychologists, Social workers and the NIV team. One of my doctors, Roland, came round at about half 3ish and told me that everyone is very impressed with me and happy with me and that i have done great as far as treatments, weight and generally keeping well. I’ve been using my NIV alot more and my blood gases were good, my x-ray was looking better, my weight had come up and my treatment regime was working better clearly as I’d managed 6-7 week without needing IV’s and things haven’t gone downhill too much. My lung functions had dropped slightly but they weren’t too bothered by that really.
Overall, a glowing report.. which i love because it proves that my hard work is paying off and shows my CF team that i am trying my very best. This still didn’t brush off the feeling that something wasn’t right though.
Next i went in the gym and pushed myself to do 15 minutes no stopping on the bike... with 8 litres of 28% oxygen of course. I did it and felt good afterwards but still something just felt wrong.

I sat down and attempted to write this blog all night and just couldn’t focus. I then got some sad news about a very lovely friend of mine and it knocked me a little. It made me appreciate things just a little more and made me wish that everyone could see life through my eyes and not take so much for granted or worry over silly little things, that when it all boils down to the nitty gritty... the little things that seem so huge don’t matter atall.
That’s it isn’t it?!
The three key’s to happiness.

I decided to email her instead and by the time i had finished that i was knackered and fell asleep whilst writing this. I am certain you all won’t mind this being a late post. I didn’t want to write it while my mind wasn’t really on it as it would have been rubbish and effortless almost.
So here is Day 17’s blog:

Day 17:- A Picture Of Your Favourite Song

This was deemed impossible by ME! I have too many songs that i class as my favourite. When you are someone who listens, relies and depends on music as much as i do; it becomes impossible to choose. In an old previous post i have explained how i love to sit and dissect the lyrics and meanings of a song... the story behind it.
I also love how a song can make you feel things or remember a time or point in your life when you could relate to every aspect of the words. It amazes me how music has that ability.
I have decided to choose three of my top songs.

Plug in baby – Muse

It was the first Muse song i had ever listened to and i was hooked immediately. I feel like all Muse’s songs have a meaning but even Matt Bellamy has no idea what it is! :D haha.
He seems to just play the music and let words just pour out of his mouth. I have however taken the time to really look into this song and so this is what i have come up with..
It’s a failed relationship that he then turns to his guitar to overcome it. His Plug in baby is his guitar :’) It’s the music i love the most with Muse. There is no-one like them and there never will be i don’t think.

I’m not Dead – P!nk

I love this song. This song reminds me of a time in my life when everything was going full steam ahead and i was just like, “WOAHHH!!”
It just lets all the madness in my head disappears for abit.. especially the chorus part where it goes quite melodic. It reminds me of a time when my head just needed to shut down for abit but I’d promise I’d be back. It’s a good song with an edgy beat.

What’s Up – 4 Non Blondes

This song just puts the smile right back on my face... no matter what.
I know every single lyric to this song off by heart. <3
It makes me feel strong... makes me feel like a really strong girl that can just shrug off whatever comes to knock her down. I like that.

Take Care, Sophie xoxo
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Day 16

Hello all,

Day 1 in la pearce ward accommodation.
Sophie started overnight amonophylinne last night (this is a fluid infusion that is issued intravenously through my port, it loosens up the mucus on my chest enabling me to cough it up a little easier) and since then has been feeling a little nauseous and a little more productive.
Physios have been in to discuss the plan with me and i have been waiting for an x-ray all day!!
Chelsey has been here all day again and now we are just awaiting pizza and onion rings from the local pizza place <3
On with today’s blog which i have decided to change a little bit as i don’t have anyone i do weird things with because i don’t really do anything weird. :\

Day 16:- A Picture Of You And Someone You Do Weird Things With. (A Picture Of You And Your Best Friend!)

This is me and chels. Just to justify today's blog, here is us doing something weirdish.. it was halloween and we went all out!
We searched high and low for something to wear so we could go trick or treating :')
Bare in mind that we decided to go trick or treating on halloween night so everything.. EVERYTHING was out of stock near enough!
We scraped to get abit of black & white face paint & one tiny tube of fake blood and that was as halloweeny as our shopping trip got us. So we incorperated and creativlycame up with the idea to be dead children coming back as ghosts. We bought some white bed sheets and cut holes into them, we bought some dummies and teddies, we bought some talc to put in our hair once we had back combed it all and then we went all out with the fake blood and black and white face paint and this is what we came up with! Not bad huh?

Now it's time for my version of this blog..
This is Chelsey Ellen Thackeray. Her birthday is the 4th of May. She has a car we named ‘Tallulah’. Her favourite colour is yellow. She is in her second year of uni studying to be a nurse. She’d like to work on A&E, ICU or something like that. She has a keen interest in midwifery though. She prefers coca-cola to pepsi. She likes sweeties. She likes to sing. She likes salt and vinegar chipsticks and pickled onion monster munch. She has a ring on her finger that she bought in honour of her nan. She is beautiful and selfless. She is encouraging, helpful, caring and courageous. She works hard for what she has and where she is. She would do anything for anyone if she was needed. She puts others first before herself. I don’t think she fully understands just how much she is loved, appreciated and respected by me.

Chelsey is my friend who i have had to battle for at the beginning with some people being very silly. Chelsey is my friend who never gives up on me.
Chelsey is my friend who never forgets about me.
Chelsey is my friend who wouldn’t ever leave me to be alone.
Chelsey is my friend who spends all her free time sat next to me in hospital thinking of ways to amuse me.
Chelsey is my friend who doesn’t mind having to stop for a breather or coughing fit.
Chelsey is my friend who i look up to as a big sister figure.

Without Chelsey i’d be a very lonely, unhappy girl. I have never had a friend who would drop everything for me within an instant. Chelsey is a very special person who is lovely inside and out. Her beauty shines through and her heart of gold is monumental. She is a really strong person and never lets you know when something is wrong, she just keeps smiling and everyone smiles back because her smile is contagious. I know everybody says this but i mean it with all my heart that i don’t know what i would do without Chelsey. I’m lucky to have her as a best friend and i know that i’ll always have her. <3


Take Care, Soph xoxo
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Day 15

Good evening,

I got the phone call this morning to come into hospital for my course of IV antibiotics. Chelsey and i took Tallulah (her car) for a drive down to Costa Del Wythenshawe, Hotel Pearce. Whilst sat doing nothing we decided to Google why we have pancake Tuesday. I still don’t actually know why but i found out that it was the beginning of lent today. To conclude, if anyone would like to explain to me why we eat pancakes out of all the food in the world on Shrove Tuesday, i would be very grateful :)

In other news, i’m thinking of using this time in hospital to write a few blogs for once this photo day challenge is over as I’d like to try and continue writing them. Just possibly not every day!
I’m also chuffed with my profile viewer results! :D
When i started the viewer it said I’d had 1,400 views since starting my blogs. I think that was around a week ago, since then it’s gone up to 2300. That means i’m roughly having a little over 100 views a day. That made me happy as i now feel like i’m writing to people and they are reading.

Anyway, on with today’s photo challenge:

Day 14:- A Photo Of Your Family.

It’s unreal how hard it was to actually dig up a photo of me, my mum, my dad and Beth... my sister.

Me and my mum have our silly little tiffs and disagreements and sometimes we can be moody with each other but she’s my best friend and i don’t know what I’d do without my mama. We do pretty much everything together and always have done really. She’s stayed overnight with me when i was younger in hospital, she comes to every outpatients appointment; she’ll always be there to fight for me and be my rock. I love my mama.

I and my dad have a great relationship. We have had our differences but at the end of the day we are too similar to not get over it and start again. He’s my papa. That’s it isn’t it. There is no love that can compete with the love of a father to his daughter. He is my teddy bear and when i just need a cuddle... he’s always there... ALWAYS. I love my papa.

I and Beth argue. We fight, we don’t share, we lose our tempers with each other, i borrow without asking, she takes and doesn’t give back but she’s my sister. I’d do anything for her and i’ll always back her up. She’ll always look out for me too. I love her more than any other girl in the world. I love my Boogle.

So this is my family. They keep me strong. <3

Take Care, Soph xoxo
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Day 14

Good evening,

Today has been a lovely day. It started with being woken up by Roxie for a cuddle. She then curled up at the bottom of my bed while I snoozed. :’)
After physio I had a shower, washed, dried and straightened my hair; got dressed and then left to spend the afternoon with Chelsey who is back from Kent!! WOOHOOO.
We had pizza hut for lunch and then went on a huge drive in the sunshine with some great tunes for the afternoon. It was the best and I loved it.

Listening to some songs that take you back to a time or place and make you remember stuff.
How does it do that?
How can a song make you go right back in time and make you remember exactly how you felt, who you were with and where you were?

On with today’s daily photo challenge:

Day 14:- A Picture Of Something That Makes You Happy.

There are many things that make me happy but I thought that this would be a great opportunity to introduce you properly to my boyfriend Arran.
This is Arran Barnes. A.K.A.. Barnesy, Booshy, Stumpy etc! ;)
I have been with him for 19 month this on the 14th.
He asked me out on the 14th of August 2009. He has previously asked me out in school but things just didn’t work.. too many people were involved and it was just the wrong place, wrong time. So we didn’t end up going out for very long atall. We both sat our GCSE’s and finished school and that’s when he asked me out again and I won’t lie to you.. I still had a twinkle in my eye for him so I said yes obviously ☺

Now I know I’m not the easiest of girls to go out with and I come with a few responsibilities, commitments and problems. I suppose everyone does but me more so then others. Times can be not so plain sailing when I go in hospital for weeks on end or when I just feel too poorly to do things or go places. I must be such a huge worry for him. I admire how he takes it all in his stride, deals with it and carries on. Nothing fazes him.. all this talk of transplant and things like that and he keeps positive, he keeps realistic and he sticks by me through it all. I know it’s a huge thing for him to take on being 18 years old. We are young and we still have our whole life ahead of us but I do think and feel that it has forced us to be closer in our relationship. I think I rely on him and depend on him a little more than other people our age would and therefore I suppose our relationship was bound to be serious quite early on.

He just makes me happy with everything he does. Every little stupid thing he says, every lovely.. *cough* cheesy *cough* ;) comment he makes, every positive thing he says to make my bad days in hospital or when I’m ill seem a little less bad. He makes me feel like I’m the most beautiful girl he has ever seen, even when I look my worst with no make-up on and just generally looking ill. I love that. He doesn’t have to do much and I suppose he is another person who motivates me and inspires me to keep myself well and to do and try everything and never give up, because I want that future I dream of and to live my life normally.

My sunshine ☺
i love you <3

Take Care, Soph xoxo
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Day 13

Good afternoon all,

It looks like a beautiful sunny day outside and then you step out and it's bloody freezing :(
Today’s is interesting blog is quite interesting. It has to be a picture of something you hate and there are a few things I hate about the way I look, about certain foods and what people choose to do. I decided to do something a little personal though as I bare all in these blogs and share everything with you all. I might as well do this blog on something I hate about my body. Something I usually try to cover up and hide as I dislike them that much.
So here is today’s blog:

A Picture Of Something You Hate:-

This is a picture of nail clubbing. I think in some patients one of the physical signs of cystic fibrosis is clubbing of both the toe and fingernails. Digital clubbing is a condition in which the tips of fingers or toes have a large amount of excess tissue. This results in the nail bed taking on a curved appearance. Looking at the hand from the side can easily recognize the rounding of fingertips.
The precise cause of this condition hasn’t ever been defined I don’t think, however, I know that it also occurs in people with other serious lung disease such as emphysema, lung cancer, or bronchiectasis. Apparently it’s thought that the formation of the excess tissue has something to do with the body's imbalance of proteins that stimulate muscle growth.
Fingernail clubbing is usually present throughout a person's life. It is not an accurate gauge of the severity of lung damage in cystic fibrosis patients. The extent of the clubbing is different for almost every individual, and doesn't progress as the disease progresses. There is no way to treat or reverse the clubbing of nails, but it is also a benign symptom.
I’ve always been aware that my nails were different however when I got into juniors at primary school people picked up on a little more and I wasn’t particularly picked on but they’d just mention that my nails were different and obviously kids will be kids as they don’t know any better so my nails often got referred to being the same as ‘witches nail’
I was only young though and as I got on with everyone and nobody was ever ‘bullying’ or saying it nastily it didn’t really bother me. I usually laughed and told them they best be nice to me or I’d use my ‘witch nails’ to put a spell on them and then we’d all laugh ☺

Then I remember once in school a beautician had come in and a few of us were lucky enough to have a special treatment. We could choose from having a hand massage or having our nails done. I decided I wanted my nails painted as all my friends were also having this done and only the lads tended to have the hand massage. I walked into the room; bare in mind I was in year 6 so this I was around the age of 10. She smiled and asked what color I’d like. She then lifted my hand and was staring at my nails. She asked what was wrong with them. I told her nothing. Remember I was ten and they were normal to me!
She just continued to stare at them as she was putting some moisturizer on my hands and then asked if I was sure there was nothing wrong with them. I got quite upset about it and just got up and walked out. I went to the bathroom and stared at my nails for till it was time for dinner.
Ever since that say I’ve just been really shy and sensitive about my nails and anyone who comments on them. I know it’s silly and I shouldn’t take it to heart but I can’t help it. That stupid girl who had just come out of college really knocked my bloody confidence as far as my nails go.

As you can see from the picture, (which I am hating putting up but might as well bare everything right?), my nails are quite severely clubbed and that means I cant wear acrylic nails or anything like that.
So I hate my nails.

Take Care, Soph xoxo
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Day 11 & Day 12

Hello Everyone!

Day 11 & Day 12 shall be on today’s agenda as yesterday I was very busy for once!
When I eventually had time to write it, I was knackered and fell asleep instead. Apologies to all those who we’re let down by this.. *cough* Uncle Neil *cough*

So yesterday I ran some more very important errands with Chelsey and then said goodbye to her as she was going to Kent. My mum came home from work later that afternoon so we went for a walk around the garden centre and then to pick my sister up from school; we then went to Asda and then when my dad came home soon after, we went riding!
Yes.. I went riding for the first time in AGES!
It was great, I’d have thought I’d have forgotten how to after so long but nope, it was easy and it was enjoyable. It was abit chilly willy, but that wasn’t too bad ☺
It was teatime, then bath time and then feed time; which I fell asleep whilst being on. And then finally BEDTIME!
So as you can see, no time for day 11 yesterday!

Here are both Day 11 & Day 12:

Day 11:- A picture of a celebrity you have a crush on.

This is Adam Garcia. I suppose my crush isn’t half as bad as it was when I was in my younger teens and the film coyote ugly had come out and was my favourite film of all time! Adam Garcia was the leading male role and was probably the main reason I would quite happily sit and watch the film over and over, and over, and over again. I think he is currently seeing an actress called Amelia Warner.
He is from Australia, he can sing, dance and act! He has dark hair and blue eye <3
Things I like are dark hair, blue eyes and a nice smile. I think he’s good looking but I wouldn’t call it a crush anymore :’)
Day 11 was a rubbish one as I don’t really have a crush on a celebrity so atleast you all didn’t miss out on anything :D


Day 12:- A Picture Of Something You Love.

This is Roxie Wheeler ☺
She is a Teacup Yorkshire Terrier. She’s 11 month old which in dog years makes her nearly 7 years old! She is a very loving dog who enjoys being cuddled and someone tickling her belly.
I had been shown a picture of teacup yorkies and fell in love with them just before my 17th birthday last year so I begged my mum and dad for one but I had a feeling I wouldn’t be allowed one. So when I got let out of hospital on the 8th of July (the day before my birthday) I was sat eating my tea in the front room. I heard my dad walk in from work and he was talking to my mum in the kitchen. Suddenly in walked this tiny little teacup yorkie puppy! She was teeny tiny! I couldn’t believe I’d got her. I really wanted to call her Alfie but nobody would let me as they insisted that was a ‘boys only’ name! So I chose Roxie from my favourite musical, ‘Chicago’.

Roxie has her own facebook profile that I created whilst in hospital, boredom leads you to do some crazy things.
She is the cutest dog in the world.. believe me. She doesn’t really enjoy going out for wee when it’s raining, windy and cold. So she’ll stand as close to the backdoor outside as possible. She runs upstairs when you’re on the loo or in the bath to keep you company.. but be careful because she likes having a bath and would quite easily and happily jump in and join you. For a teeny, tiny dog she can jump high! Her favourite toy in the world is her ‘foxy lady’. It’s just a little fox teddy and it’s her baby :’)
She has a pink blanket which she sleeps on every night and is very protective over. She doesn’t like anybody approaching our house so she sits at the window on guard and waits for someone to come near it and then barks at them furiously!
I love Roxie as she keeps me company while i’m at home on my own all day, she gives me cuddles when I need them, she keeps my feet warm when she falls asleep on them and in the mornings she runs up into my room and jumps on my bed to wake me up and then lies there with me for abit and sits with me while I do my physio. She’s adorable but naughty at times!

<3 I love my little babe.

Take Care, Soph xoxo
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Day 10

Hello everyone,

Well my luck ran out yesterday at clinic.. I should’ve kept shut! Must’ve jinxed it huh? ☺
Never mind! I have put 2 kilo’s on which is good news and they are very happy & impressed about that. However, my lung functions were down slightly. I’m happy about the weight though. Proves that having the PEG feeding tube and feeding near enough every night is obviously paying off and is all worthwhile.
I never expected miracles and I still don’t but If it helps me gain a little bit of weight and maintain it, that’s miles better than losing it and struggling to gain it back again.
Overall, the doctor thinks I am in need of IV’s so when a bed becomes available I’ll be getting a phone call to pack my bags and “come on down to..”
Costa Del Wythenshawe, Hotel Pearce Ward!
Another 2 week break at the lush resort! I make it sound heavenly huh? ;)
They were impressed and happy with me overall but I don’t know.. maybe I had my heart set on having 6 week out as little part of me felt abit gutted.

Not really done much today. The sun has been shining and I always feel like I really want to go out and do something amazing when it’s lovely looking weather but as soon as you step outside you soon realize it’s chilly todger out there!! Freezing cold unfortunately isn’t it!? Crappy North West weather!
Instead I went out for lunch with my mum and so that was really nice and I managed to walk round Tesco without my chair and I didn’t feel breathless or have to stop for a breather while coughing so that made me feel real good.

Here is today’s instalment of the ’30 day photo challenge’:

Day 10:- A Picture Of You When You Were Little.

Right I’m really hoping that the first photo you shall be seeing is me as a baby with a bonnet on my head! When I was little my mum and dad loved dressing me in little dresses with matching hats and baby bonnets and stuff. There are tons of them stuffed in my wardrobe still. I was a little ginger salty baby when I was little :’)
With a potbelly, obviously caused by my poor digestion. I think I was the cutest thing I have ever seen to be honest with you all. Sure you’ll all agree? ;)

Okay the next picture is my first school photo. Here I have creatively cut my own fringe the night before and erupted in cold sores. Oh how considerate of my younger self?
A messy fringe, a couple of pigtails and a cute button nose and the disaster that was me after trying my hand at being a hairdresser is transformed into a decent school kid I reckon.
Not bad mum! You saved the day!
I think it’s fair to say I was an utter nightmare when I was little which is unbelievable I’m sure those who know me will gladly tell you all. ;)
No seriously I was horrid. I was naughty. I was gobby. I didn’t care about school pupils or share my toys with them. I swore like an extra off shameless!
My language was terrible for such a young, dainty little thing. Credits to my papa. I believe I had a mile case of tourettes to be fair, I seemed to have this need to run behind the sofa and rhyme off every swear word I could possibly think of and then I’d step out from behind the sofa all refreshed as if nothing had just occurred.
I used to swear at my mum, my grandma, my auntie.. Everyone! People laughed though and so I carried on as I knew I got the attention. One day though people stopped laughing and started shouting and so the swear words stopped and I don’t really swear anymore. I don’t really see the need.
So there you have it, I was a little bugger when I was younger but I was cute and got away with it ;)

If only I stayed as you cute as that forever! :’)

Take Care, Soph xoxo
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Day 9

Good Morning Everyone,

Shhhh! Don’t tell anyone but this is my fifth week out of hospital. This hasn’t happened in a very, very long time. I haven’t even felt the need for IV’s and although my clinic appointment is at 3.15 this afternoon, I am hoping they will agree with me that the need for IV’s just isn’t urgent at the moment and allow me to go onto my 6th week out of hospital and continue on with some orals! Fingers crossed guys! I haven’t wanted to say anything on my previous posts for fear of ‘jinxing’ it. So I kept my mouth shut but the day has come for my fate of freedom to be decided by whomever I see at clinic. You shall all be informed in tomorrows post so stay tuned guys!

On with today’s photo challenge and may I just say.. whatever I write for the chosen people will never suffice for how grateful and thankful I am to them. Nor how much love and respect I have for them both. Words just can’t describe that kind of thing.. not really.

Day 9:- A Picture Of Someone Who Gets You Through The Most.

So I can’t have one without the other because when it comes to this.. they’re a team! When it comes to needing them, I need them both and when I need them the most.. they’re both there for me without shadow of a doubt.
My mum and dad are the people who get me through the most.
They’ve gotten me through the past 17 & a half years of life.

They’ve bought me every “Mr Men & Little Miss” book going. They’ve laughed at my naughtiness during lower primary school. They’ve watched me win perfect badge on Friday mornings at primary school. They’ve attended the awards ceremony in which I took home ‘Head Teachers Award’. They’ve payed for lessons and allowed me to become a great horse rider at a very young age. They’ve watched me take home 1st and 2nd place rosettes and trophies for show jumping at the tender age of 12. They’ve watched me sing & dance my little heart out to Britney Spears. They’ve took me on holiday nearly every year of my life. They’ve allowed me to inherit both intelligence and beauty ;)
They’ve given me everything I could ever want, need and have. They’ve taught me manners and respect.

On the other hand, they’ve wiped the tears, sweat and blood from my body in times or despair, devastation and struggle. They’ve counted every second of every minute, of every single hour go by whilst I’ve been in theatre having a major operation. They’ve cried for me when my dreams and hopes come crashing down or crumble to a complete standstill. They’ve stuck it out when all my other friends dwindled off. They’ve re-built my self-esteem and optimism when it has been smashed to smithereens by another knock back from my health. They’ve spoken words that make my darkest and worst days seem a little brighter and happier. They’ve offered me and endless amount of love and support. They’ve built, moulded and shaped me into the girl I am today and the woman I will become.

They are my mum and dad. They are what keep me so determined.

Take Care, Soph xoxo
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