Sorry : (

I can’t believe it has been four whole days with no blog. That’s horrendous. I haven’t been able to sit down and really get into writing anything.
Here i am; i’ve just walked in from school and yes it has been a very, very, very long day today.

Firstly, i would like to say a huge thank you and congratulations to Mr David Johnson (Jonny) if you read a previous post you’ll know that Jonny was going to run the London Marathon this year for the CF Trust.
I’m proud to say he did run the marathon and he finished it too. He finished around 5 hours after starting. I think he is pretty amazing. : ) Again thank you Jonny <3

I can’t write more than this today .. i have loads of revision and homework to do. I’m really sorry that i can’t write anymore, i miss my blogs : (
I have loads of ideas though so pretty soon you’ll have lots to read.

Take Care, Sophie xoxo
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Ten Years From Now


I haven’t wrote a blog for a few days. I knew this was going to happen once i got back to school, with GCSE’s coming up i’m pretty busy.
I have had the day off today and i got thinking about school, college, university, basically the future.
Therefore today’s blog is going to be on my aspirations.

It’s weird to know that i have only a couple months left in school and then i’ll no longer be a school kid. The weirdest part will be, not seeing everyone every day. My best friends, the group of lads that hang around with us. The people i have known since nursery. I’ve spent most of my life with the majority of those people.
That’s all coming to an end and i more than likely will hardly ever see them anymore.
It’s kind of sad really. : (

I’m way too excited to be leaving Counthill though, to be moving on to the next chapter of my life and meeting new people, experiencing new things and learning new things. I intend on going to Oldham Sixth Form to study Psychology, Sociology and English Language.
I really want to take English Literature but don’t want to have to drop either of the other two.
Like i said thought once i have finished my two years at college i want to go to university and continue into further education.

If you asked me four years ago what i wanted to do when i was older, i would have replied, “i want to be an author”
If you asked me three years ago what i wanted to do when i was older, i would have said, “i want to be a interial designer”
If you asked me two years ago what i wanted to do when i was older, i would have replied, “i want to be a journalist”
If you asked me last year what i want to do when i get older, i’d have said, “i want to be a child psychologist.”
That idea stuck with me for a long time. I thought it was the perfect job for my character. I enjoy helping people; i have a keen interest in the human mind and behaviour and i am a listener.
The thing is, if you asked me now what i want to be when i leave college, i’d simply reply, “i love to write, i want to be an author of some kind.”
It’s a hard business to get into but i’m going to try my hardest and hopefully my determination will keep me going.
Psychology still attracts me somehow, it’s something i believe i will be quite good at. It’s something that i hope will keep me interested.
So until i know for sure what i want to do, i am going to keep my options open with regards to university. I mean i don’t know which one to go to nor do i know what courses to do there.
There is quite some time yet for me to make my decision.

Cystic Fibrosis is a disease that doesn’t get better it gradually gets worse. This is something i am thinking about more.
I know that i am nowhere near as bad as some people with CF, my lung functions are on the up and at the minute i’m not doing too bad. The thing is though, who know what it might be like two years from now. Swing and roundabouts right? Good times and bad times?
My dreams and aspirations are what thrive me to keep myself well. It’s what keeps nagging at me to go in the gym or do some form of exercise. It’s what yanks me to do my physio and take all my medicines. My CF might be unpredictable but i won’t let it walk all over me and i certainly won’t back down and let it prevent me from achieving what i hope to do.

I was talking to a girl i have known since nursery; we have been best friends for so long. We got discussing about the future and we decided to set ourselves goals, we then decided to write them down and swap them. Therefore, on our 25th birthday we would give each other our lists and see if we managed to stick on track for our goals.
I decided to share mine with you:

• I want to have got good grades at college and uni.
• I want to be doing something i love and enjoying my job
• I want to be in good health (hopefully)
• I hope to have made it in the writing industry.
• If i’m not a writer i want to be a child psychologist.
• I want to have my own house.
• I want to be in a good relationship or even possibly married.
• I don’t want kids just yet.
• I want to be extremely happy
• I want to have been to New York, LA or Australia
• I want to have a car named Betty : )
• I want to still be writing my blogs
• I want to have a dog
• I want to be able to bake a yummy cake
• I want to be able to make my grandma’s chicken soup and my mum’s sheppard’s pie.
• I want to own a piano
• I want to be good at playing the piano
• I want to have learnt Italian ... i love that language for some unknown reason
• I want to still be writing music.
• I want to have seen Beyonce live in concert.
• I want to have gone on a big holiday to Florida with a big group of friends and family.
• I want to have gone on a cruise.
• I want to still be in touch with at least more or less all of my school friends or at the very least know what everyone has achieved.
• I want to be as close to my mum and dad as i am now.
• I want to still be going to my nana wheeler’s flat on a Saturday : )

I think that list will do for now, maybe i’ll add a few more as time goes by.
Maybe i’ll be able to cross a few off before i’m 25.
Even if all of them aren’t crossed off by the time i’m 25 ... i want to have eventually crossed them all off.

Take Care, Sophie xoxo
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Beautiful Flaws

We all have flaws don’t we?
Those things that aren’t impressive, perfect or good.
Our imperfections are beautiful sometimes. Don’t you think?
Someone said to me today, “Why are you so perfect?”

Perfect ... can you define perfection?
The thing is i’m not perfect i’m far from it actually.
I have imperfections, i have things i should work on, but i won’t work on them.
Why? Because that’s what makes me ... me.

What are your flaws?
Mine are:

• I’m a very jealous person.
• I do like to look nice; i’m not someone that says i don’t care how i look because i do.
• I look at myself and always see room for improvement.
• I am extremely argumentative.
• I am a stubborn person when i believe i am doing the right thing; i won’t back down.
• I like to please people and make people proud.
• It does matter to me what people think of me.
• I do listen to music constantly.
• I can’t listen to music without singing along.
• I read all the time and get so wrapped up in the story i seem ignorant.
• I fall in love with fictional characters.
• I’m not the world’s best drummer.
• I’m not a great singer.
• I try my hardest all the time and sometimes maybe too hard.
• I trust people too easily.
• I’m an extremely positive person but when i am low, i get really down in the dumps.
• I don’t express how i feel that much...vocally i mean; i’m not a problem sharer because i feel like a burden.
• When i really want something i have no patience.
• I’m the quite kid, who keeps her head down in class and hardly makes a sound.
• When i am nervous, i fidget.
• I have a habit of biting the inside of my cheek.
• I’m rather emotional.
• I have an addiction to sweeties.
• I hate the clubbing of my nails.
• I hate my teeth.
• I dislike the sound of my voice.
• I’m pretty blind to be honest :D
• I’m not an outdoors person.
• I do everything i can to help people and i never learn that some people just can’t be helped.
• I hate taking pictures.
• I am ALWAYS Freezing cold.
• I get colds very easily.
• I can get lost in films and not want to find my way back home.
• I often have my head in the clouds.
• I’m quite a messy person
• I go through alot of fazes.
• When i like something ... i adore it (Twilight obsession at the minute)
• I doubt myself all the time, suppose that’s called low self-esteem.
• I’m an extremely pale person...true English rose.
• I get very sarcastic when i am nervous or angry or upset.
• I’m not a very confident person.
• I suppress my feelings and don’t show emotion that much. I just smile all the time whether i’m happy or not.
• I’m good at keeping my temper but when i lose it i become a horrible person.

So there you have it, i’m not perfect, i’m not beautiful, i’m not talented and i’m not a girly girl.
I have flaws, we all do; but they can be so beautiful.
We all have something we are great at, something we are amazing at.
So don’t give up if you can’t play the piano first time round, don’t try to make yourself look any different because that’s how you’re supposed to be.

We all doubt ourselves; even the vainest of people have secret self confidence issues.
Even the most amazingly talented artists in the world doubt themselves.
We never see beauty within ourselves ... but other people do.

Take Care, Sophie x x x
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London Marathon.

Evening everyone,

Today’s blog is late but it’s been gorgeous outside so i’ve not moved from there : )
I have been quite chesty today but otherwise okay.
I’ve been on my drums today and have been reading a new book courtesy of my Uncle Neil, Auntie Sharon, Ella and JoJo. Thankyou!
It’s called The Golden Compass written by Phillip Pullman; i’ve just started reading it and i can’t get my head around it just yet. I’m keeping to it though because according to my Uncle Neil it’s a great book that makes you think about the world we live in. I’ve been a very large bookworm today and have read all day. Then i sat down at my laptop because i had an idea for the story i’m writing and of course i needed to get it down quick so i have written quite alot today too.

Well today’s blog is about a young man named David Johnson
He is a very good friend of the family and he is running the London Marathon on the 26th of April 2009 (this Sunday).
He has decided to run for the CF Trust and therefore, today’s blog is a plug for all you generous lovely people out there to dig deep into your pockets and help him reach his ultimate goal of a thousand pound.

How do i give money??
It’s simple. Jonny has his own website, here you can donate as much money as you want.
Please visit and sponser him; your support will mean the world : )

The Cystic Fibrosis Trust relies on the support of the CF community and the public to continue its work in research, campaigning, support and care for those with Cystic Fibrosis. They need your help ... by giving a little of your time or money, you can make a huge difference.
Since the founding of the CF Trust in 1964, we have been working to improve the lives of people with CF, raise the profile of CF and fund research into a cure.
Our objectives are to:

• Fund medical and scientific research to develop a cure and provide effective treatments for Cystic Fibrosis.
• Ensure appropriate clinical care for those with Cystic Fibrosis.
• Provide information, advice, support and, where appropriate, financial assistance to anyone affected by Cystic Fibrosis

The Cystic Fibrosis Trust is the UK's only national charity dedicated to all aspects of Cystic Fibrosis. The CF Trust invests in medical research to treat the symptoms of CF and to find an effective treatment by correcting the basic genetic defect. The CF Trust also provides information, advice and support to families affected by Cystic Fibrosis and aims to ensure that people with CF receive appropriate healthcare.

All clinical and research projects are scrutinised by an international panel of leading doctors and scientists. This ensures the CF Trust invests in research that will have imminent and/or important clinical benefit to those with Cystic Fibrosis.

I’d quickly just like to take the time to thank Jonny for choosing Cystic Fibrosis as his dedicated charity.
It means so much to know that he is putting all this effort into helping every person in the UK fight against CF. To help us find a cure. Jonny you’re amazing. Thankyou!

I’ll be there cheering you on every step of the way.
26/04/09 - London Marathon.
Thankyou ....

Take Care, Sophie. xoxo

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Grandad Wilfred Brown.

Sophie Jayne Wheeler. 09/07/93
Grandad’s first grandchild was brought into the world.

For as long as i can remember i have always been a Grandad’s girl.
He was my Grandad end of.
For 5 years, MY Grandad and i were like two peas in a pod. I’d happily sit and watch Stone Cold Steve Austin on the wrestling (he was my grandma’s favourite.), or i’d watch Simpsons with him on his chair. I’d sit on his knee. : )
For 5 years he was MY Grandad and then...........

My Sister Was Born!!!!
Bethany Paige Wheeler. 26/08/98
He was no longer My Grandad; he was now OUR Grandad.
The green eyed monster kicked in big time, it was too much to handle for a little 5 year old torettes kid : )
(i had tourettes when i was younger ... okay i didn’t but you’d have thought so the number of times i’d have outbursts of swearing; who’s fault i hear you cry??? ... DADDY!!!)
Anyway, back to OUR Grandad Wilf.
Well, my sister was born and obviously she was getting all the attention, i can’t remember clearly but i distinctly recall highly disliking my sister for a long time.

Me and my Grandad used to have this thing, i was his ‘number one’ : )
First grandchild. First place in his heart. Sophie was Grandad’s number one!
Once the whole baby hysteria died down, i began horse riding and my number one fan was Mr Wilfred Grandad Brown.
Every horse show, Grandad was there bright and early, fresh as a daisy, on a Sunday morning. Packed lunch in hand, big parker coat on and his boots; ready to brave the bitterly cold Sunday Mornings on Saddleworth Pony Club’s fields (Platting Road).
He knew how to dress my Grandad ; ) He was a rugby player i’ll have you know : )
So off we would all go and my Grandad would stand at the side lines clapping his heart out once i had completed my piece in Equitation. This wasn’t my favourite atall. Infact, i would go as far as to say, i hated it.
MY forte was Show Jumping. I adored Show Jumping. The adrenaline, the cheers, the speed and the power. I loved it!
Once again, my Grandad would clap his heart out as i would come trotting out with 1st place rosette in my hand.
Then i would have a picture that would then be framed and set up in my Grandad’s gallery of me.

My Grandad’s gallery is on the back wall of his chair.
It consists of framed pictures of yours truly .... Me ! : )
To be honest, i think it was my idea when i was younger ... i’m not too sure. Anyway, this is no longer there anymore. Much to my disgrace ... why?? Do i hear you cry??

A few more years down the line grandchild number 3 was born.
Madison Marie Brown. 08/09/03
I love this little girl with all my heart but at the time of her birth i was still young and i had just gained MY Grandad back; Jealousy kicked in.

The return of the Green Eyed Monster.
I remember going seeing Madison after she was born in hospital with my Grandma and Grandad .
My Grandad and i went to get a drink. As we were walking back down the corridor we had a little heart to heart:

Sophie: “Grandad can i ask you something?”
Grandad: “Course you can sweetheart”
Sophie: “Even though we have Beth and Madison ... am i still you number one?”
Grandad: “Yes, you will always be my number one.”
Sophie smiles from ear to ear and we walk back into the cubicle.

That conversation won’t ever be forgotten by me. Ever!

Like last time, the green eyed monster went back to its cave.
I think every little girl goes through the faze of wanting to be a hairdresser right?
Some girls stick to it and achieve their goals; others try it out on the Grandad’s first!
You heard me correct my Grandad Wilf would happily allow me to sit putting his hair into bobbled, (attempting to) plait it, (attempting to) braid it, brush it, put hair clips/slides/grips in it etc.
When i had created my masterpiece on his hair ... i would run into the dining room get the mirror and show my Grandad how beautiful his hair looked thanks to me!
I am telling you right now and you can all quote me on this but i defiantly missed my calling with that one because my Grandad used to absolutely think it was wonderful.
The conversation:

I’d run to get the mirror
Sophie: “Don’t take it out Grandad, i’m getting the mirror. Keep still, i’ll be back in a minute”
Grandad: “Okay”
Sophie: (holding the mirror up in front of him) “Ta-Dah!”
Grandad: “Oooh Very nice.”
Sophie: (in a disgusted voice) “Did you take one of those bobbles out? The one with the pink flower on?”
Grandad: “It fell out.”
Sophie: “Oh for goodness of a sake Grandad, i told you to keep still. Now i will have to start again.”

So all the bobbles would come out, all the grips would come out, the hair clips and the brush would rip the hairspray out. Then whilst Grandad continued to watch his war film ... i would sit doing his hair again. He would willingly sit there and never once moaned. He was perfect.

As i got older, we didn’t go down to Grandma’s and Grandad’s much but when we were having work done on the house because if the dust and things, we moved in to their house with them for a couple of weeks. On Saturday night me and Grandad would go down to Sharpsies (Waterhead Con Club) and play bingo! Woo-Hoo!
He would buy me a packet of bacon fries and a can of diet coke and i would sit and play bingo with everyone there. : ) Good Times! Good Times!

Another great memory of my Grandad and i is all the times we have sat in the car talking about absolutely random and utterly pointless things on the way to Boothall for port-flushes. We would sit there and put the world to rights me and my Grandad on the way to Boothall. It’s because we are cool!

I’d like to take the time to sing a beautiful song for all you horrendous Leeds fan’s out there; sing along if you like ... are you ready?

Breathtaking i know ; )
I’d like to dedicate that to, Christian Wheeler, Eddie Aspin and of course MY GRANDAD.
My Grandad supported Leeds Rhino’s Rugby League Club ... however, after Saint Helens Battered them on numerous occasions, he decided to support Oldham Roughyheads. It’s atrocious but he refuses to support the saints! :D
Every game between Leeds and Saints we would spend the whole game on the phone to each other arguing over who played the best and rubbing it in when our team scored a try : )
I’ll miss those phonecalls now you’ve gone to supporting Roughyheads Grandad !
You really have blown your chances of getting to rub my nose in it whenever your team beats saints haven’t you. Haha!

Finally, one of my favourite Grandad and Sophie moments.
Friday afternoons : )
My Grandad is a bin man supply person. I don’t actually know his professional role. All i know is that he has the most important job out of it all. He works the hardest and without him, the bin men would be in complete ciaos. How do i know this? My Grandad told me : )
Anyway back to Friday afternoons. Well my Grandad get’s these afternoons off work so he picks me and Beth up from school. We then have tea.
What’s on the menu??
Fish, Chips and Peas!!! Wooo!
Every Friday afternoon without fail i have fish, chips and peas for tea at Grandad’s.

Overall, my Grandad is and always will be MY Grandad.
I love his laid back attitude to life and his chuckle is bloomin’ great : )
My Grandad Wheeler died before i was born so my Grandad Wilf is all i’ve got.
I really do worship my Grandad.
I Love You!!
x x x x x x x x x x

Take Care, Sophie xoxo
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Sixty Five Roses

Today i am going to go into alot more detail about the life threatening disease that is Cystic Fibrosis.

You have more than likely noticed the words written as the title say Sixty Five Roses. The reason being is that this has become a nickname i suppose you’d say for Cystic Fibrosis.
Children who can’t pronounce Cystic Fibrosis sometimes call it by a much sweeter name, "65 Roses." This disease is anything but sweet.

Cystic Fibrosis.
It is a hereditary disease affecting the lungs, sweat glands, and digestive system. People who have cystic fibrosis have to take medications to help breath and digestive enzymes to aid in digestion. When a child is born and it is suspect that they have cystic fibrosis, they do what is called a sweat test on the baby. If it comes back positive, some other tests are conducted to confirm it.

Some of the symptoms of cystic fibrosis are the following (this is in no way a complete list):
Thick mucus affects mainly the lungs which make it rather difficult to breathe.
In people with CF, water and salt can’t move through the tiny cells easily which makes it dry. The body then produces thick, mucus. The thick mucus then invites many different bacteria’s to make a home in the lungs; causing further inflammation and mucus.
Some of the technical names are staphylococcus, pseudomonas and cepacia. CF patients are then put on a strict regime of antibiotics, vitamins, inflammatory medication, other meds, insulin (possibly), exercise, high-calorie diets, physio, nebulised meds, Intravenous antibiotics etc.
This is then followed up by regular clinic appointments with the full CF team. This includes; consultant, CF nurse, dietician, physio and the odd medical student.

Growth issues.
Most of the time CF people will not grow to be very tall and due to digestive and pancreatic issues, they are usually underweight. Therefore, CF patients are put on a high-calorie diet. However, when even that does nothing extra precautions are issued such as high calorie food supplements. When worst comes to the worst, people with CF are put on overnight feeds.

Clubbing of the fingers and toes.
Clubbing is a thickening of the flesh under the toenails and fingernails. The nail curves downward, similar to the shape of the round part of an upside-down spoon. This happens over years of low oxygen supply to the body. It is commonly found in sufferers of CF and people who have lung or and heart problems.

Treatments Include:

CPT or Chest Physical Therapy (physio).
This can be done in a variety of different ways. There is percussion; which is where another person pats the chest area with a hand that is cupped shape.
PEP Mask; which is a hand held device that measures positive expiratory pressure. You breath into the facemask and as you breathe out a resistance is made therefore, making coughing secretions easier.
Flutter and Acopella; both devices create vibrations as you breathe into them; this then shakes the airways loosening the mucus.

Antibiotics: There are numerous amounts of oral medication that have to be taken. Other methods of administering antibiotics are either nebulised or intravenous.

Lung Transplant: To get on a lung transplant list, the CF patient has to be very ill, but well enough to be able to take on new organs.

Cystic Fibrosis is the disease that just keeps giving here are a few other medical complications some CF patients receive:
*Liver disease
*Nasal Polyps
*Lung collapse (pneumothorax)
*Circulatory failure
*People with Cystic Fibrosis are often unable to have children.

Men and women with cystic fibrosis are often unable to have children because of abnormalities in their reproductive systems. Cystic fibrosis also causes a defect in the vas deferens causing sterility in approximately 98% of males with the disease.

The life expectancy of cystic fibrosis patients has been increasing over the past 40 years. In the 1980s life expectancy of people with cystic fibrosis was 14 years.
10 years back, the life expectancy of a person with cystic fibrosis was around 18 years. Today it is 35 years. The median life expectancy of a newborn with cystic fibrosis has increased from 4 years to 32 years. It has been estimated that there has been more than 10 year increase in the average life expectancy of affected people in North America. Over 90% of the affected infants now survive beyond one year. Studies show that life expectancy of children will exceed 40 years. Life expectancy of individuals with adequate pancreatic function can be more than 50 years.
Although i say that there are the unfortunate few that stop having to fight. They lose the battle with CF and are able to breathe easy watching over their loved ones.
Cystic Fibrosis is unpredictable disease. You never know where it is going to take you.

One thing is for sure, CF is both a curse for the obvious; but it is a hidden blessing.
Once you find that blessing, no matter what life throws at you ... nothing ever knocks you down. You never hit rock bottom.
The hidden blessing is being able to appreciate and fully embrace life and everything/everybody in it.
That is truly an amazing gift.
CF sufferers are some of the strongest people i know.
However, i always remember that there are people suffering worse then me. This keeps me smiling to know i am lucky in the sense that ... my life is great!

Take Care, Sophie xoxo

P.S .... more blogs:
• Grandad Wilf
• Analyzing
• Appreciation
• Jamie.
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Music is what feelings sound like.

So yesterday, i wrote about my love for writing. It has to be said that is my greatest love. However, i have an infatuation with music too.

Without music i wouldn’t be able to write like i explained in my previous blog. Music to me is the literature of the heart. It continues when speech ends, when talking stops.
Lyrics of a song create a story that gets played to you in your mind. The composition of a song sticks in your ears, sticks in your head making it an impossibility to remove.
We have all been there humming that song that has clung onto us since the first time we heard it.
It’s capable of taking us to the past, helping us through the present or guiding us into the future.
Music has the ability to trigger our memory, we all relate to it somehow.

Some of my favourite artists are:

• Muse
• Paramore
• Celine Dion
• Beyonce
• Alanis Morisette
• Billy Joel
• Pink
• Elton John
I think i best stop because i could go on and on and on : |

Some of my favourite songs are:

• Suddenly – Billy Ocean
• Supermassive Black Hole – Muse
• Uninvited – Alanis Morissette
• Fly – Celine Dion
• The reason - Hoobastank
• I’m Yours – The Script
• Lullaby – Billy Joel
• Decode – Paramore
• Family Portrait – Pink
• I’mYours – Jason Mraz
Again, i could continue till i am blue in the face. : )

Life is one grand, sweet song, so start the music. – Ronald Reagan

If you asked me who my idols where like i said before i would say my family of course. However, when it comes to music i emphasise on some people. My cousin Christian Wheeler (you got a mention) and my Dad.
I don’t know whether you’ve ever heard my dad or not but if i do say so myself i believe he is the best male singer i’ve heard. I’m not just saying that because he is my dad; it’s more judgemental then that.
Trust me, i am probably his worst critic if he hits a wrong note, sings the wrong lyrics or messes up in any other way he knows i’ll gladly mention that to him. I think this is through jealousy but it’s also a little bit of me getting my own back i suppose ... childishly. That story is for another day though.
Anyway like i said, when my dad messes up when he is singing which is very rare ; )
I am the one he looks at and wither smiles or winks or amazingly shows me some kind of sign language (the V sign). Haha! Everyone makes mistakes right? :D
Speaking truthfully now, he honestly does have an utterly amazing voice. His vocal range is tremendous for a man and his ability is truly breathtaking.
My favourite song that he sings is Suddenly by Billy Ocean; it makes me cry every time.
He sang this at his X-Factor audition (my choice obviously), he got through to bootcamp but then had to come home because i was due to have my op.
I felt horrible because i told him to stay but i know my dad would never have done that.
Previously he went to X-Factor a different year and was asked to separate from the group he had entered it in and go solo. He turned Mr Cowell down though and walked away with his group.
I know he will make it though, he has to because his voice is unbelievable and i am probably doubling his ego hear but to tell you the truth he is an amazing singer.
I’ll shut up about my dad for now. Mr Graham Wheeler.

Another one of my all time favourite solo artists is Celine Dion, i truely think this woman needs no explanation as to why i am completly in awe of her. I think she is atounding. Her incredible vocal range is astounding as for the beautiful presentation of her song they are mind-blowing.
I would recommend you listen to a song called Fly. It’s a song she wrote about her neice who sadly passed away from CF, she wrote it for her and sang it at her funeral. I found that pretty remarkable.

I sing every now and again, my confidence needs to improve alot more and so does my stage presence, my breathing technique ... i could go on : /
What i am trying to say is that although i adore singing, it’s not my passion. Writing is my true ‘love’
That being said, i couldn’t live without music and i sing everyday. I think the worst thing for a singer is when they have a cold, cough, sore throat etc because they can’t sing. The temptation is astronomical though.
Surprisingly, my Cystic Fibrosis doesn’t have any affect with my singing, unless i am productive.
As i am getting older, this will more than likely change. Whilst i have a tickly cough however, it has no implications and to be honest, my cough subsides when i sing. Recently, i’ve had a chest infection and i couldn’t sing due to coughing sputum up constantly.
My singing voice was back at a charity do on Easter Sunday. I could tell i hadn’t done it for a while as my voice dried up quickly :D

I am also very interested on the writing part of it too.
I’ve never been taught to play an instrument or read music but i can play piano by ear and i have played the drums for around a year now.
I love the piano, it’s my favourite instrument ... i think it’s beautiful and i can listen to piano compositions all day without speaking a word to anyone.
It moves me, it really does. Have you never noticed how beautiful the piano’s music is?
My other favourite instrument is the drums. I love an amazing drum beat in a song.
I have written songs before when i was around the age of 11 but they were petty and childish.
Since then i have only ever written one song. My dad wrote some lyrics to the beat i had made together with a piano composition and then i wrote some different lyrics too.
My dad’s lyrics are like reading a story. Mine, on the other hand, paint a picture but don’t actually tell you a story; that’s where you have to relate to it. You create your own story behind the lyrics.
That’s another thing; my dad is outstanding at, making his own lyrics up.
He can sit there and just make a full song up within the space of a few hours. Graham Wheeler ... the lyricist.

My final paragragh will be about one of the reasons as to why i love music.
I choose my favourite songs from the lyrics. I don’t have a certain genre i prefer i just have songs that i prefer.
My musical interest changes all the time.
I can listen to everything and anything. Although i am not a big fan of rap or dance.
If you took a look through my favourite’s playlist on my i-pod you’d see a mixed bag of artists.
Elton John
Iron & Wine
Robbie Williams
Bon Jovi
Lady Gaga
Celine Dion
Taylor Swift
Don Henley
Robert Pattinson
Blue Foundation
The Script
Billy Joel
Alanis Morrisette
Carrie Underwood
Leanne Rimes
And even the Righteous Brothers.

Like i said, i don’t have a favourite type of genre because it’s the songs that stand out to me, not the style of music.
I prefer the meaningful ones, the ones that pull on your heart strings. The lyrics that could make you cry are always the ones that are beyond belief.
However, this may contradict what i am saying but, the band Muse have me addicted because of their style, the composition of the drums, the guitar, the bass, the piano. The words on some of the songs are great but what got me hooked was the music.

My favourite quotes from songs:

“You'll never change what's been and gone
May your smile... Shine on... Don't be scared”
– Oasis (Stop crying your heart out)
“Look into your heart and you'll find that the sky is yours” – Jason Mraz (i’m yours)
“You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here”
– Sarah McLachlan (arms of an angel)
“Running, down corridors, through automatic doors
Got to get to you, got to see this through
First night of your life, curled up on your own
Looking at you now, you would never know.”
– Athlete (wires)
“Someday we'll all be gone
But lullabies go on and on
They never die that's how you and I will be”
– Billy Joel (Lullaby)

There are loads more, i just think i have wrote loads already.
I might do a full blog on lyrics sometime : )

Overall, when i think about it, i don’t think you can ever pick your favourite artist ... your favourite song or even your favourite genre. Music is what feelings sound like. <3
My favourites change within the hour. : )

Take Care, Sophie xoxo

p.s blogs to come:
* Cystic Fibrosis
* All about me
* My Grandad Wilf
* Me and my teddybear.
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Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia!

Morning all,
Well today i want to express my love for writing. I hope i don’t bore you, of course if i do ... just close the tab and come back tomorrow ; )

So as you already know, i go through alot in my life. Good times, bad times; swings and roundabouts. One thing that has always kept me completely passionate about living is reading and writing.
Fictional or non-fictional i love them all.
You can quote me on this as i have said it many times before, but i love how words can have such a powerful effect on you.
They can transport you to a different place, make you feel things you’ve never felt before, make you go through things you’ve never experienced before. Take you places you’ve never been, see things you’ve never seen.
I love how words can awaken your imagination. How suddenly that little kid inside you appears again to paint pictures in your head.
I adore how writers have that ability to make you laugh, cry, inspire, imagine, FEEL things.
It amazes me.

Story Telling reveals meaning without committing the error of defining – Hannah Arendt

Some of my personal favourite writers are:
• Stephanie Myers – author of the twilight series as well as a thrilling book, ‘The Host’. Her absolutely amazingly, imaginative books have me hooked. If you go on her website, you can see why ... i would say i idolised her.
• Jacqueline Wilson – I don’t read her books anymore but as a child i was addicted to her writing. She was my favourite author from an early age.
• Charles Dickens – One of the most famous authors in the world. No explanation needed.
• Roald Dahl – Yet again an author that needs no explanation as to why i admire his work. To me Roald Dahl seems to make a riddle into an answer. I don’t know whether that makes sense to you, but it makes perfect sense to me. If you get the chance ... ask me what i mean by that and see if i can give you a good enough answer : )

Some of my favourite books are:
• Twilight Series – All four of them; i hear a fifth book is on the horizon though. : )
• The host – A novel that is fantastic, inventive, thoughtful, and powerful. It will definitely keep you reading and keep you thinking even after you have put the book down.
• Little Woman – it’s a novel by the American author, Louisa May Alcott. It’s a fairly old book but my grandma recommended it to me and since then it has been one of my favourites.
• Great Expectations – I love this book, i really do. When we had to do an English Literature essay on this in school i had a field day! Sad i know ; ) I love how Charles has a way of portraying himself in the character Pip.
• Of Mice And Men – This book i think everyone has done in school at some point. It has become one of my favourites, that’s for sure.

We all have idols – B B King

If you asked me who my idol’s were, i would answer my mum, dad and infact most of my family.
From a creative point of view... i idolise my Uncle Neil (you got a mention!!) AND Stephanie Myers.
No, i won’t be shutting up about this woman. : )
Stephanie Myers has openly admitted to crying whilst writing her novels because she feels everything her characters go through. I found that rather remarkable; if i do say so myself.
Words, as innocent and powerless as they seem, can become so good or evil when in the hands of someone that can combine them into the most powerful book of all time. Myers has completely enlightened and changed the way i write. She has corrupted my mind, filling me with the most influential and inspirational motivation i have ever come across. After reading through her website, (which she writes on once in a while), I had a sudden urge to write the story i really want to read that no-one has written yet. Her words are so dominant to me.
“I went back to Bella's senior year of high school and asked my little cast of characters, ‘What happened?’
I swiftly regretted asking them for the story. Because they gave me a story I wasn't expecting. More specifically, Edward told me something I didn't want to hear.
I should probably mention here that I am not crazy (that I know of), it's just that I am a character writer. I write my stories because of my characters; they are the motivation and the reward. The difficulty with strong, defined characters, though, is that you can't make them do something that is out of character. They have to be who they are and, as a writer, they're often out of your control.” – Stephanie Myers.
She is talking about writing the sequel to her first book, Twilight.

If that doesn’t explain why i admire this author so much ... i don’t know what will.

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. - William Wordsworth

So, i have mentioned authors that i adore and i have also talked about a couple of books that i love. I have written a paragraph on my ‘idol’. I think for the final paragraph, i will write about me.
I have written stories for as long as i can remember, they were usually the typical, ‘damsel in distress’ type of things.
I recall writing one that was similar to ‘Rapunzal’ when i was around the age of 9 or 10.
The main character was the damsel’s dog! Say’s alot about the story doesn’t it!
As i got older, i moved onto more trivial things, my writing matured and i involved the reader alot more.
I would call myself a character writer. My stories revolve around the character and are told by the character. My imagination is let loose; however when i read through my work, i bear in mind what i think the reader would say. I try to make the reader feel like he or she is the one telling the story. That’s how i love to feel when i am the ‘audience’.
I like a book to grab me from the very first line.
A story needs to have a beginning, a middle and an end; i just think it’s better when you switch things and put things in different orders.
If ever you read one of my stories, you’ll notice that the first paragraph of chapter one is always the character’s opinion of what has happened ... but it doesn’t tell you what has happened exactly. It makes you not only want ... but need to keep reading. It attaches you instantly, making you addicted to the story unravelling inside your head. Making you guess what’s happened, what’s gone on?
Making you hooked on the character telling the story because they are the only lead you have.
I loved drawing the pictures that my inner child painted in my head. I just could never get it to look exactly how it appeared in my mind. However, with writing, i discovered i could get it to look completely the same.

I am strongly guided by music when i write.
Nothing else gets me motivated then music. Nothing else stirs up my emotions then music.
I never write in silence, some people find it easier to concentrate, i don’t atall. It becomes harder for me to concentrate because i then get distracted by little noises downstairs or outside.
At least when i am listening to music, the lyrics of a song is encouraging me to continue.
They do this by opening closed doors, making me feel emotion as i am writing.
Sometimes, the inspiration for the next song i will be playing comes from what i am writing.
I love it when that happens, because then it’s like a soundtrack for that particular scene.
For instance, let’s say an upsetting part of the story i am writing is coming up ... i’ll listen to:
* Fix You – Coldplay
* Uninvited – Alanis Morrisette
*Unintended – Muse

An upbeat happy part of the story:
*Mr Brightside – The Killers
*I’m Yours – Jason Mraz
* Wouldn’t it be nice – Beach Boys

An action pact part in my stories:
*Supermassive black hole – Muse
*Ya Mamma – Fatboy Slim (generic action –scene music)
* I’m not okay – MCR

As you can see music helps to get my creative juices flowing. : )
I can't write without music. It’s definatly an impossibility.
Someone once told me that being an author was like being in charge of your own personal insane asylum.
In my head, there are thousands of characters just waiting to come alive. They’re just waiting for that tiny flare of inspiration that will kick start their personal story.

On the other hand, my blogs just seem to flow. I don’t know where they come from ... they just
burst through the seams, enter my fingertips and then appear on the computer screen as if by magic. Writing my blogs has become such a process of discovery that i actually can’t wait to wake up and see what i am going to say or talk about today. It started off being a way to express myself and inform people about the ‘behind the scenes’ of CF.
This then spiralled into being a way to let whatever was cramming up inside my head out. A way in which i could just write down whatever came to my head and then type it up on my laptop.
Amazingly, you all love it ... you all keep coming back for the next instalment.
It’s great : )
I not only do it for my benefit but i also do it for everyone who reads as well.
Everyone likes a nosey through someone’s diary right?
Over the weekend i have had ‘writer’s block’ ... i just couldn’t motivate myself to write. I had nothing to write about and i struggled to write the one yesterday about my Nana Flo. One day i will re-write that and do my Nana justice. The legend that she is :D

If i didn’t write to empty my mind i’d go mad.
Since i have been writing; i’ve taught myself alot and i understand myself alot more too.
I think other people are starting to understand too : )

Okay, so four pages after and my blog is completed.
Thankyou for reading : )
Take Care, Sophie xoxo
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Miss Florance Duff - Mrs Florance Wheeler

This blog is inspired by my Nana Wheeler.
It’s all about the head of the huge Wheeler family.

“The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family.” - Lee Iacocca

To this day my Nana has been someone i adore ... i think everyone loves there Nana, but there is definatly something special about my Nana Flo.
Since i was a little girl i remember going to Nana’s every Saturday. She’d have a cupboard full of treats (crisps, chocolate and a bag of haribo ... without fail), and not forgetting the biscuit box. It’s plastic with a green lid ... i can’t remember a time where that hasn’t been in my Nan’s kitchen ... i reckon it’s possibly a family air-loom that!
Anyway, my Nan is like Peter Kay’s Nan and she lives in a council flat .... the one’s with those red triangles where you can pull it and it sends an alarm to some lad, doing a crossword puzzle, in a tiny tin shed. : ) ............ good ole’ Peter Kay
She has done since i was probably around the age of 6 or 7. One day, she had a fall and broke her hip ... long story short she is now in a wheelchair sadly.
This however, doesn’t bring my Nan down ... does it ‘eckers!!
The thing is; she should have her own show, her own comedy show.
To tell you the truth she would definatly earn a fortune being a stand up comedian.

"She has a gob on her!!” – Nana Flo Saturday 11th April 2009
Me, my dad, my mum and my sister Bethany went to my Nan’s like we usually do on a Saturday after calling at McDonalds for dinner. We had it a little late though and we had assumed someone had picked my Nan some dinner up ... this was not the case and god did we know it when we walked in the house!
I sat on the settee with my McDonald’s whilst my Nan roamed around in her wheelchair. That’s the thing you see ... she can’t keep still atall. So she wheels over your feet, she knocks over your drinks and everything : )
Then my Auntie Max walks in fresh as a daisy ... thinking no-one would be there. She was therefore, planning on taking my Nan out for dinner. This idea came to a holt evidentially as we were there.
Like i said before, my Nana is in a wheelchair. This entails that she needs someone to do little jobs for her. Another one of my aunties ... Sharon goes down every week day to keep My Nan Company and also be a sort of carer i suppose you could call her.
She’d not long been sat down when my Nan sets about her.

Max – Oh have they brought you no dinner flossy? (jokingly)
Nan – No they’ve not! (deadly serious)
Max – Oh well we’ll wait till they’ve gone and then we will have a walk to McDonalds.
Nan – McDonalds? Well you might as well get your car and bring me something.
Max – No we will go down there.

This carried on for a while.

Nan – Who’s this? (she said whilst dialling a number)
Max – Well i don’t know, you have to let me listen first.

She did eventually let my auntie max listen : )

Nan – I’ll tell you what you’re a frickin’ b***h you girl!
Max – What? I’ve not done nout!
Nan – you’ve only been down three times this week!
Max – Oh well how rude of me ... as if i’d have anything better to do with my time then sit in your flat with you.

Max – Last week i came round after work, i’d pulled a steak out at home for my tea but your Nan insisted i stayed for tea ... do you know what we had Soph?
Soph – Go on ..
Max – A small tin of beans and sausage between us. I said, ‘mam, do you want some toast with this?’ She said, ‘ yeah go on then, i’ll just have three!’
I’ll tell you what, it was filling that!!
Nan – Hasn’t she got a gob on her
Max – Eyy!
Nan – Shut it you!! (she spat at my auntie max)
My auntie max sat there not saying a word, trying not to laugh.

Now ... i don’t know about you but, i’d say these two belong on the telly.

“Merely becomes the standard of comparison.” – Stendhal.
If i could possibly compare my Nan to anyone in the world it would be the Nan character on Catherine Tate Show.
She can be on the phone to someone chatting away, all smiles and then as soon as the phone goes dead ...
“I can’t stand her me! Always frickin’ moaning!” (she doesn’t like swearing in front of the children ... usually)

“A Legend In My Eyes” – Sophie Jayne Wheeler.
A legend in my opinon is someone that you just won’t be able to forget. Someone, who makes a tremendous impact on your life.
I have met many people who will go down as a legend in my books; however, none of these people compare to my Nana Flo.
Florry will be a hard one to beat.
She has written in diaries for the past twenty years and to tell you the truth, they ought to be published ... some of the things in her life could make you cry with laughter and then cry with sadness.

Nine kids, god knows how many grandkids later and my Nan is still as fit as a fiddle.
She out live us all Flossa.

I Love you Nan!
x x x x x x x x x x

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Everything happens for a reason

Hello everybody,

Today's date is Saturday, 11th of April 2009. I've realised that the dates and times are wrong on my blogs.

Anyway, i didn’t get round to doing a blog yesterday and i apologize to everyone who didn’t let me forget about it : )

Today, i am going seeing my nana, going in the gym and then watching a DVD tonight with some treats and the quilt : )
Yesterday, i went watching Waterhead play rugby against Saddleworth Rangers and they won!! (YAY)
It was a really good game, but the lads looked knackered during second half : (
Anyway, because i was busy yesterday ... i didn’t write a blog .. nor did i go in the gym : (
So to make up for that i am going in the gym twice today; both for thirty minutes.
I am also going to practice my drums actually; i haven’t done that in a while as well. Well now i am blabbering on with myself so i shall begin the actually blog part now : ) Thank you guys for reading!!

Everything happens for a reason.

Sometimes people walk into your life and you know right away that they were supposed to be there to serve a kind of purpose i suppose. Maybe it’s to teach you a lesson in life or maybe it’s to help you figure out who you are and to mould you into the person you eventually become.
You never know who these people may be but when you look at them, you know instantly that every moment they are in your life; they will have an effect on it somehow. Every person you have ever met in your life has had some kind of impact on you. Just take a moment to think of a few people randomly and think what you have gained from having that person with you in your life. Maybe it’s a friend who you no longer speak to after a bad argument; they possibly taught you some kind of lesson right?
Maybe you’ll think of that nurse that always seemed to make you smile when you were feeling pretty low. She probably made you become a friendlier, helpful person sub-consciously. Then again it could possibly be that friend of a friend who helped you do a simple thing like open the front door. You gained a new friend that day.
I’ve just sat here and thought everyone who i’ve met in my life has had an effect on me. Some people have even saved my life and in the long run pro-longed it. How can you ever thank someone for that?
I’ll tell you ... you grab every single part of life with a firm grip and you never, not once, let go of it. You embrace everything that goes on; even through the bad times. When you’re going through something bad, don’t ever worry because something good will always balance everything out again.

Sometimes, things happen to you at some point in your life that may seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, will power or heart. Things knock you down and you get up more knowledgeable, stronger and usually happier. In the long run, those things are the biggest lessons in life you’ll ever have. Maybe it’s top kick your bum into actually looking after yourself more, maybe it’s a lesson in appreciating everyone and everything in your life.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck.

The bad times in life usually are the most important and biggest moments you will ever get to learn from. It could be illness, injury, love or complete stupidity. These occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, life would be like a very, very, very long, straight, flat road to a basic end.
How boring would life be without little bumps on the road?
What would you learn from life without the hiccups that teach you things?
What could you possibly gain from life?
In life, there is always going to be another hill or mountain but you can’t make them move. You have to grit your teeth, put a smile on your face and overcome those mountains. My view on CF is that it’s a test to shape us into stronger people, to mould us into becoming people who have been blessed with the ability to embrace and appreciate the small things in life because someday they’ll become big things.

The people you meet affect your life. These people may hurt you, betray you or break your heart but forgive them because they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart to. You’ll possibly never forget but it’s defiantly a lesson learned right?
On the other hand, when someone loves you; love them back unconditionally.
They are teaching you to love and open your heart and eyes to little things. They are allowing you to experience one of the greatest things in life. Love.

Make every day count. Appreciate every single moment in life because you’ll never be able to get them back again. One they have gone .... they’re gone.
Talk to people you’ve never talked to before and actually listen. They will have things to tell you, stories to share and even a good gossip possibly ; )

If your one of those people that have been hurt by allowing someone to get close to your heart or even in your heart ... let yourself fall in love again, break free and set your sights high. Everyone has someone that they are meant to be with. If it hasn’t happened yet .. it will.

Hold your head up because you have every right to. No-one should have the control to make you do otherwise. You are your own person so head high, chin up and put the gorgeous smile on your face. People will wonder why you’re so happy; it will confuse them. Haha!
Most of all believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you.

Create your own life and then go out and live it. Enjoy it. Love it!

Take Care, Sophie xoxo
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Music 4 Life

Hello everyone,

I woke up today feeling fresh as a daisy! : )
Tube free and all that ; )
I decided to go in the gym and do 30 minutes speed: 4.5 – 5.5 and incline: 4.5%
I then got bored so thought i’d try 7% incline ... :O My lungs didn’t like it : )
So we stayed at 4.5% incline haha.
Today’s playlist:

• Misery Business – Paramore
• Brighter – Paramore
• Decode – Paramore
• Knight’s Of Cydonia – Muse
• Supermassive Black Hole – Muse
• Sexy Back – Just Surrender
• Lollipop Remix – Framing Hanley

After the gym i practiced a few songs because i haven’t done that for a while, i think my singing voice has been wondering where i’ve been all this time.
Anyway, i did that and then sat to do my blog and here i am.
All day i have been wondering what to do my blog on and then whilst singing; i thought, let’s do it on something i’m proud of, something i’m proud to be a part of, something i’m proud many people are a part of.
I’m going to do it on the charity concert ‘Music 4 Life’.

The concert takes part on a bank holiday Sunday afternoon in August at the Dog and Partridge in Oldham. The owner Dave and his partner Deb own the pub and have been hosting a live outdoor concert for a few years now. However, for the past two years, one of the charities’s that benefit from the concert is the CF Trust.
As you all know, this charity is close to my heart. Therefore, my dad contributes alot to the concert, comparing, music technician and also artist. Alot of preparation goes on behind the scenes. Including months of planning, road closure permissions, advertising as well as booking of local artists and bands.
All the artists give up their time and effort to perform for free on the day. Also, how could i forget to mention the generous public who turn up to have a great day and raise money for worthy causes.
I just want to mention that the other charity that usually benefits from the concert is ‘Kidscan’ which is a charity that specifically support’s research into new and improved treatments for children with cancer. Yet again, another awesome charity. : )

Last year on the 24th of August (2008), at 1pm the concert began kicking off with amazing entertainer that is Mr Andy Lee. Next to perform was me ... WOO!!! (That’s where your all supposed to go ...”YAY!!” )
A few more artists performed including:
Laura Mac, Wild ‘n’ Wicked, an amazing Elvis impersonator, Stifler’s Mom, Emma Sharrock, Hayley, The Waterheads and many more.
A quick thank you to those artist for their time and talent : )
Also on the day , there was an auction, a few tombola’s, raffles and a few celebrities turned up to enjoy the beautiful day.
Kevin Fletcher was one of the celebs, the actor who plays Andy Sugden in Emmerdale and Barry Mc’Dermott, the former England rugby league player.
I hate to talk about the weather but i have to say ... it was lovely, the sun came out for Oldham : )

After a great day and the help of hundreds possibly thousands of people who turned i am pleased to say that Music 4 Life raised £10,000 for both charities. Therefore, CF Trust and Kidscan walked away with £5,000 each to go towards research and support.

This year WILL be bigger and better and this year we WILL raise more money than Music 4 Life ever has.

Here are a few pictures for you to have a nosey at.

Take Care, Sophie xoxo
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Today's Expedition

Hello everyone,

Today has been great so far! The day is not over yet 
I had my gripper needle out to day ... i am tube free!! YAY

I knew that today was the end of my IV’s and this meant, i was due to have my LF’s checked. I woke up, had my IV administered and then went into the gym just to wake my lungs up ;)
I did 15 minutes... not much but it was something. I then got dressed after clearing myself; this took 30-40 minutes. (Physio)
I was so determined to have my LF’s increase today. A doctor had told me previously that they wouldn’t pick up for a while; this drove me to prove him wrong. Therefore, i have been in the gym for 30 minutes every day getting a sweat on! ;)
Yesterday i even went in for 50 minutes, i wanted to push it to an hour but my chest said “NO!”

Anyway, we picked my BEST friend Aimee Burns up and left for Boothall.
Yes you heard correct people ... i took my best friend to Boothall. It was a wonderful day trip out for her :D ..... Your all thinking, “God i wish i had a friend like Sophie, who takes me to hospital to watch her cough her head off attempting to succeed in her challenge to increase her LF’s”
Okay maybe not word for word but still it’s something along those lines right? ;)
Well, i just want to add that Aimee is my best friend and she wanted to come to Boothall before the previous blog. Hence, the message at the bottom highlighting that not my entire group are ignorant towards my CF.
So, off we went to Boothall Children’s Hospital. Parked in my usual spot and entered the physio department.
We waited for the Physio to come as i explained the machine that measures my lung capacity to Aimee.

Lung function tests (also called pulmonary function tests or PFTs) evaluate how well your lungs work. The tests determine how much air your lungs can hold, how quickly you can move air in and out of your lungs and how well your lungs put oxygen into and remove carbon dioxide from your blood.
You blow into the machine as fast and as hard as you can for as long as you can.
This measures FEV’s = this is how fast you can push the air out.
FVC’s = this measures the how much you can breathe out.
The machine has a cartoon character which i name George and he has a milkshake. The aim of the game is for bubbles to be blown from the milkshake.
That’s my secret goal anyway; this shows me that i have done a ‘satisfactory’ blow.

We went into the cubicle and i grabbed device and blew.
On my first attempt, i didn’t get any bubbles 
On my second attempt, Guess what?!?! I Got Bubbles
On My Third Attempt .... I Got BUBBLES!!
I coughed a few times but that was okay .. i got bubbles!!
The pyhsio went to get my notes and i had a sneaky peek, i was certain they were better then last weeks.

She returned and my lung functions were up a WHOLE 20%!!
Last Week:- FEV= 54% FVC= 61%
Today:- FEV= 69% FVC= 82%
I was CHUFFED !! My mum was CHUFFED!! My dad was CHUFFED!! My physio was CHUFFED and PROUD!! My Best Friend Aimee Burns was both PROUD and PLEASED!!!

After there we went to the holzel centre which is specifically for CF’s to have clinic’s etc.
Here we were to meet Sharon, the CF nurse to have my gripper needle removed. She was really proud of me when i told her and showed her the photocopied chart of my LF’s.
Yes i photocopied the chart!! 
I wanted it as proof, proof for me to put in the gym as motivation. I want to get my LF’s back to where they were before my op. Back in the 90’s and 100’s.
It will take alot of work but i have never been so motivated and determined in all my life.
It’s like a new me, i really am trying in the gym and enjoying it. Also, i’m doing ALL my meds and airway clearances (physio).
I proved the doctors wrong before; i wanted to do it again.
I walked out after my op no later than a week. Against everyone’s expectations i want to amaze them again by getting my LF’s bigger and better than they ever were.

I quickly want to say thankyou to Aimee for showing a genuine interest into what goes on at hospital, i honestly think she was enjoyed herself a little bit 
I’m glad too, it was nice to have someone there with me ... other than my mum that is. 

Thankyou for reading, tomorrow’s post will be alot more interesting ... i just wanted to share my excitement and good news with you. 

Take Care, Sophie xoxo
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CF and friendships.

Hello everyone.

I got some great feedback from yesterday's blog.
I'm glad you enjoyed it; i had a lot of fun doing that one and remembering thing’s i thought i had forgotten. You also seemed to enjoy my mum’s input too (in the comments); which is great!

Thank you for reading, without fail your always here. So thank you!!

Today has been good. I decided i am going to push myself in the gym. I mean really push myself. I am due to stop my IV's tomorrow so i am thriving and determined to boost up my Lung functions. I want to blow the roof off Boothall’s physio department; i will try my best :)
So i am going in the gym for 45 minutes today. I’m going to go at a speed of 5.5 (a slight jog) and incline to 3%. When i am walking at a speed of 4.5, i’ll incline to 4.5%.
I really want to get my lung functions up and keep them up by continuing my little fitness regime; i’m more motivated then ever at the minute so while i’m like this it’s best to get in the gym as much as possible!

Today’s Playlist (Jess’s favourite part):

• Sexyback – Just surrender
• Lollipop Remix – Framing Hanley
• Supermassive Black Hole – Muse (Live from Wembley)
• Taylor Swift – You should’ve said no
• Paramore – Misery Business

“Keep your eyes upon me, keep me in your sight, Help me don the crooked road, lead me to the light. The road I'm on is dark, I'm not sure if I know the way, Yet with you right beside me, I'm certain I won't stray. Protect me from the world, I know we'll make it through, Give me all the strength I need..... Let me lean on you." - Megan Stroup.

Cystic Fibrosis is an unpredictable disease, some days you can feel great and then the next you’re flat out with a chest infection needing IV’s.
When people are feeling crappy, friends are the backup, the rocks they lean on to make them snap back.

I’m one of those people that are friends with everyone and never have a bad word to say about anyone. I have a small group of close friends of which i love dearly; i’d do anything for them. I’m the agony aunt, the listener friend. The one you can lean on when you can’t stand up by yourself, the one that begins to pick the pieces up when you’re on the floor with emotions, the one that will try to catch you before you fall to rock bottom. I’ll offer you advice to the best of my ability and try to comfort you when you just need someone there. I’m usually the one that even when you have the biggest smile on your face, i can tell when something is bothering you. A smile can hide a thousand lies.

I hate not being able to help someone with a problem, can’t stand it. I like to see people making the most of their lives, happily.
Smiling joyfully.
Laughing hysterically.
I always believe that frowning won’t ever make you feel better but if you smile, there is always hope, just a little bit of faith that things will get better and when you believe you’ll achieve. I can’t guarantee i’ll make all your problems disintegrate but i’ll give it a blinkin’ good go and make you smile at least.
So i’m the glue i suppose you could say that hold’s you together when you’re falling apart.

When i manage to get in school our close nit group is great and fine. When i’m in hospital or off sick ...
I don’t see them, i don’t hear off them, i don’t know what’s going on in school and i don’t know the recent gossip. To be honest it’s pretty lonely, you feel isolated and ‘out of the loop’. You feel like you’re out of sight, out of mind. However, you tend to feel upset and annoyed too. Annoyed because you spend all that time being there for them if they need you ... but when you need them ... Nothing.
Just a text would be nice every once in a while. Just a phonecall and abit of a catch-up chat. Nothing.
Just a quick visit. It’d be amazing to see some friendly faces because when you’re at home off sick. You can’t be gallivanting around Oldham; to be honest when you chest is rubbish you don’t really feel up to going to the pictures. When you’re on IV’s you can’t be planning to go out somewhere because your day is ruled by IV times. When you’re not ill, it’s hard to make plans because like i’ve said before ... CF is unpredictable. You never know when you’re going to be chesty. Therefore, instead of going to the park, you have to stay at home, do something in the gym ... do extra physio.
When you’re in hospital, it’s boring and i know parents work and my friends have school and i understand that completely, but a phonecall or a visit after work/school would be wonderful. Just a text would put a smile on my face.

I have been speaking to lots of people who suffer from Cystic Fibrosis and even though the symptoms are always different and the ways in which we are affected aren’t the same. We ALL go through this, faze.
The faze where we feel like we are a burden to our friends were we feel left out and totally alone.

Personally, i go through the faze and then think how selfish i am for feeling that way. How dare i be so self centred because i know the world doesn’t revolve around me?
I feel guilty for thinking that people should text me, phone me, visit me. On the other hand, i think; how selfish of them ... i give and give and give but receive nothing in return. No concern, no rock to lean on, no cheerful gossiping girly chats.
You feel so alone, yet you’re surrounded by people, nurses, doctors, family.
Still, as much as i love them; there not the same as your group of friends.
You feel separated from the world and it’s just devastating.
However, i also begin to think, they have lives to live. I can’t expect them to make room for me.
Yet, isn’t that what friends are for? To pick you up when you’re feeling down?

Another excuse i give myself is that they avoid the fact that i have CF. When i’m well and everything is normal ... everything is great! When i am on ward 14 with tubes in my arms, IV’s pumping through me and oxygen on ... i imagine it’s not nice. So they block it out. They avoid me like the plague. I’m a burden to them that they can’t deal with.
The thing is though ... i’m not normal even when i’m well. The act i play is well practiced ... in school, i’m just like every other girl. Out of school and behind the scenes i’m having meds, injecting insulin, doing physio etc.
Maybe the reason for them not being there is because they don’t fully understand?
You see i disagree with that point; they’ve known me since nursery some of them, i’ve done speaking and listening presentations about CF in school. We have had numerous conversations about CF during ‘heart-to heart’ conversations.

I tell my friends most things but when it comes to my CF, i hesitate. I don’t want them to worry or be scared of what may happen in the future because i’m not scared at all. Sometimes, i think they hide what they really think about Cystic fibrosis. Cautious not to hurt my feelings. Maybe i’ve got the wrong idea.
I’ve not spoken to them for four week. I’ve been off school for the past four week with a chest infection and on IV’s.

I just wanted to explain the ‘behind the scenes’ of CF and friendships.
There hasn’t been one CF person i have spoken to who has disagreed with me; it’s fascinating. I wonder is it CF that scares them.
I just wish they’d speak to me and tell me how they feel about the whole thing. I’m hoping they will read this and feel like they CAN call me and tell me what worries them. I know the world doesn’t revolve around me but a nice chat would be wonderful.I must stress that not ALL my friends are like this. The are a couple who never let me down and i am so thankful for those people. You two make my day, you'll never know just how much that, "Hello babe, how are you?" means to me!! Thank you. :)

Thank you for reading!
Take Care, xoxo
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Memories last forever, there for keeps!

Hello everybody :)

Yesterday i decided to write about Joe and your feedback was amazing so thank you for that. Whether you left a comment on facebook or on here i just wanted to thank you.
Writing about Joe made me think about the time i have spent on Ward 14.
There have been some good times and some bad times.

Memories last forever, no-one can take them away; there yours for keeps!
Boothall Children's Hospital; Ward 14!
So here goes. Let's see how much my brain has stored:

- One of the very first memories i have is dancing to Twist It (Lennie Henry) during annual reviews. Prof David thought i was very entertaining :)
- I had a good childhood and was rarely on IV's. However, when i began to grow pseudomonas frequently, they brought me in for IV's. And the first time i went on ward 14, i remember getting lost and taking a liking to one of the nurses. She was called Anna. Anna became my named nurse (this is a what you’d call a favourite; it meant that whenever she had a shift, she took care of me)
- I had an allergic reaction to Ibuprofen and (WARNING: If you are eating you might not want to carry on with this bullet point!) I was throwing up red, thinking it was blood! I was delusional because of a temperature and was accusing Anna of trying to kill me and putting me in the naughty girls home. You know the one your parents threaten you with when your younger. :D !! I thought my mum had put me in there. Anna explained I was in Boothall on IV’s.
- Jo was a bubbly nurse who usually worked nights. She was really lovely and she often come in with a cuppa for a chat when most kids were asleep. Later, she left to work on ICU and I didn’t see her again.
- When I had first started staying over night on my own; at 9pm they decided we had to move wards because of lack of staff. We moved to Ward 12 and I was so scared I rang my mum and dad crying asking them to come and stay with me. I had been put in a cubicle that was out of sight and the bottom of the ward and I was scared that anything could happen and no-one would know about it. So my mum stayed with me that night.
- Remember in my previous blog, I mentioned three other people? Well, Maggie was an auxiliary nurse and she used to walk me, Joe, Jamie and Alethia in a single line file to the venders in the canteen, ths was to stock up on treats : )
I remember Maggie telling us a ghost story once. She said the corridors was as cold as they were because the ghost of Lord Boothall walked them, looking for his wives and girlfriends.
- She said, that Boothall used to be a mansion owned by Lord Boothall and he had many girlfriends and many children. The house caught on fire and everyone inside it died; however, Lord Boothall’s body was never recovered. Therefore, he haunts the hospital looking for the ward. Hence why Joe used to ring me when it was dark; bless him!
- They have a school at Boothall and when you didn’t go to your usual school; you’d go to BMCH high (as we used to call it). It was rather funny though as each CF had to go in a separate room because we can’t mix. The teachers used to run around like loon’s! We’d be spilt up like naughty kids.
- On the way to the school, me, Joe and Jamie would call at the hospital shops to stock up on sweets to keep us busy whilst doing school work.
- I remember, a girl named Sam (she had diabetes), me and Jamie complaining about the food and the canteen staff’s attitude to PALS (patient advice liaison service) We thought we were dead cool.
- I have a clear memory of being very annoyed when my snack box didn’t arrive on the ward. This obviously was an outrage!! Haha.
- During my time on the ward, when I didn’t have to stay in; I’d wake up, get dressed, have a brekkie, do physio and rush outside to get to my normal school.
- One night, when I had just started to stay in on my own, a lad with CF came into my room, with rubber gloves, an apron, and a knife from the kitchen saying he needed to do an operation on me. I was so scared. I pressed the nurses button and one of my all time favourite nurses came running to the rescue.
I’d just like you to picture this in your head:
A women standing at 5 foot with glasses on the end of her nose, a bigger sized lady and a short bright blonde bob in her late fifties threatening a ginger 6 foot 7 eighteen your old boy to get out of a girls room before she clipped him round the ear.
Sue Mac is an almighty LEGEND!
That memory definitely fails to sneak away from me. The boy was later put on a psychology ward.
- On the subject of Sue Mac, she had an obsession with my dad’s legs … no joke! She absolutely adored them; my dad has a soft spot for Sue I reckon
- Ward 14 has recently been re-decorated (thankfully) however, before they did this I would like to take a moments silence for the colour I used to wake up seeing on the walls in the morning. … … … … … … … … … … …
Sick pale green!! I know it really cheers you up when your staring at those four walls all day :D Haha.
- Before I had a port-a-cath fitted, I used to have canulas and long-lines (these are tiny tubes inserted into a vein to administer IV’s)
Personally, I loved having long-lines put in … we were given Entonox (laughing gas). I distinctly remember, feeling completely out of it and on cloud nine. Good Times!!
- Something else I just want to add is that whenever I had Entonox I used to hear circus music in the background. Weird but true!
- All Cystic Fibrosis sufferers have to have a glucose test to see if we have CFRD (CF related diabetes)
This means you have bloods taken and then you have to drink a lot of litres of glucose (I cant remember the exact measurements) and then 2 hours later you have another set of bloods taken.
The first time I had this done, nobody told me you could drink ‘original lucozade’. Unfortunately, I was left to drink sterile water and pure sugar mixed together (about 10 tea spoons of sugar) I have never heaved so much in all my life!
- My mum learnt to do home IV’s eventually and I no longer had to be admitted. Well, unless you become ill or need operations etc. When I had my bronchoscope, after coming around I was really hyperactive and giggly (this is unusual as I’m usually really weepy and crying all the time) Anyway, I woke up to find a nurse called Katie dragging Jamie to my cubicle window to wave at me! She did this because I hadn’t seen him for roughly 2-3 years. ‘Apparently’, he remembered me, but from the sheer horror on his face … he was either embarrassed or had no clue who I was. Cheers Katie!!
- Well like I said, my mum learnt to do home IV’s but last year I was admitted regularly and had to stay in as I needed oxygen. I had visitors frequently (thank you everyone that came to see me)
- The food sucked! So I used to ask all visitors to bring me some form of food (I hinted many times for McDonalds)
- One visitor who always brought me McDonalds was …my cousin Samantha. She's a good’un!
- The first time she came with McDonalds, I needed some creon so she went to ask the nurse for some, “food tablets” ;)
Clare (the nurse) looked at her and then asked whether I had creon 10,000 or 25,000! Samantha didn’t have a clue!
- Samantha visited often and we got bored easily. I remember deciding to see what would happen to my saturations if I turned the oxygen right up. I nearly blew my head off. Samantha found this amusing
- While I was in I got a lot of coursework done and the nurses used to help as much as they could but unless you were asking them how to draw up ceftazadine .. They had no idea.
Except Jaynie, who rang her dad for some info on WW1 as my history coursework was due in. He helped loads, so thank you Jaynie’s dad.
- One of my best friends came to see me after my bronc, we were about to get the results when she turned up with her dad. Her and her dad are like family so we had no problems them sitting in. The results of the bronc weren’t good as we were faced with the operation or no operation ultimatum. I turned to look at Taylor as I knew she had no idea just how serious CF could be. She looked devastated as he explained what the operation entailed. I felt more gutted that she had to hear it all then I was about having to have the op. I knew it was killing her having to hear how major the whole thing was.
- There was a little old Irish lady who used to work nights; she was lovely and she made me horlicks one night and brought me an extra blanket because I was cold. Thank you Mary!
- I had a reflux test which is a tube up your nose and down your throat that sits at the top of your stomach. At the hospital I have a reputation for smiling and being upbeat however, if you could have seen me on this particular day … you’d have seen that I was not impressed!! Haha!
- During the time I spent at Pendlebury, (my op), I gained a few extra memories here are a few:
* a junior surgeon, eating all my sweeties (Alex)
* me bribing this student to gently take me drains out and he could have more haribo!
* Naming my drains Peter and Paul
* The first time I walked after my op, I felt unbelievably dizzy.
* I had my op on a Thursday and I cant remember anything untill Sunday.
* Me not liking my physio because she made me really work.
* My dad staying with me for the entire hospital stay.
* My mum staying with me also.
* Walking outside to go home for the first time.
* Getting a lot of visitors!
* My friend Emma coming all the way to Pendlebury just to see me. I really appreciated that.
* Having my hair washed for the first time It was really funny because I couldn’t move off the bed so they pulled out a little paddling pool on HDU and layed my bed flat, I had to put my head in the paddling pool while they washed my hair. It was very funny.

I have just realised how much I have written and I believe I should stop now
Thankyou for reading and keep your eyes peeled for the following blogs:

* CF and Frienships
* Cystic Fibrosis
* Music
* ‘Music 4 Life’

Thank you again for reading and your comments :)
Take Care, Sophie xoxo
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1 For A Quid or 5 For A Tenner : )

Helllooo everyone!

I have been in the gym AGAIN today ... i know i know!! I am awesome. ; ) .... kiddin, just kiddin!
Thank you again for reading and supporting me, your comments mean the world to me. : )
Another look at posts coming soon:

  • Hospital Memories

  • 'Music 4 Life' - charity concert

  • CF and friendships

  • Cystic Fibrosis

On with the post ....

My second home is Boothall Children’s Hospital; the usual accommodation being Ward 14. The nurses do a great job but also in the long run become your friends too. Offering support, guidance and a good ole’ chat when you have to stay in.
I’m not sure whether you know but for alot of CF’s when they come in for IV’s they have to stay on the ward for their full 2 weeks; sometimes 3 week course of IV's!
Not leaving there cubicle because people with CF can’t mix due to cross-infection. When i used to stay on the ward, there were four of us that were always in at the same time: Alethia, Jamie, Me and Joe.
Without fail, i’d be in the cubicle facing Joe Geeling ... a pain in the bum! :D

He purposely played his music too loud because he knew it did my head in.
He liked rap and to be honest, i’m not the greatest fan of it! So he’d play it full blast, his door open, smiling at me from the other room.

Cross-Infection is a huge thing on the ward. It’s like the unwritten number one rule; not to mix!
Joe took no notice of this ‘rule’ and often used to waltz into my room, taking something that belonged to me with him.
He’d shout, “Come and get it if you want it!”
He knew i was a ‘goody two shoes’ and would NEVER walk into his cubicle.
One day, he took my phone; i had to get that back and he knew i’d have to. So he stood by the nurse’s call button ready to press as soon as i walked through his door so i’d get into trouble.
I walked to my door and stood and looked at him for a while; the big huge smirk across his face infuriated me! I raised my arm and i ... pushed MY nurse’s button first!
She came up and told Joe about the consequences of mixing with another CF and that it wasn’t good to take things without permission; she continued to say, “And do your physio Joe!”

That was often echoed through the ward frequently : )
He was the cheeky little brother who was always on the wind-up ... but he was lovely; he meant no harm whatsoever.

At Boothall, just outside of our ward there are some huge trees and they used to have conkors fall off them and the nurses used to take me and Joe conkor picking (i assure you, this was alot of fun when you had nothing else to do!)
So in a single file line, Joe at the front, the student nurse in the middle and me having to trail 5 steps behind (cross-infection, we’d go to the large trees and pick conkors : )
One day, i didn’t go because a friend from school was coming to see me; this did not go down well with Joe atall! He mithered the hell out of us all day until a student convinced him to go conkor picking. Joe came back with rubber glove after rubber glove of conkors! (the gloves the nurses and doctors use in hospitals)
He knocked on my door and offered me and Jess an ultimatum; we could buy ‘1 for a quid or five for a tenner!’
Either way not buying any wasn’t an option with Joe.
I bought 1 for a quid while Jess bought 5 for a tenner, yes i repeat that’s 10 pound (£10) !!!
That day he made a new best friend in Jessica and whenever she rang my room; he’d be stood at my door offering her some more conkors for a tenner. He never failed to put a smile on my face. : )

I remember his mum, dad, brother and grandma going to see him every so often but he loved playing on the playstation on the ward so he rarely saw his visitors.
He’d ring me alot at night, when it was dark and the ward was at its quietest. He’d ring and sometimes we’d sit in silence having nothing to say, but that was alright.
He’d just say, “Soph?” every once in a while to make sure i was still there. Then when he was tired enough to sleep, he’d say, “night and bless” and i’d reply, “Sweet dreams”
Then the phone would go dead.

He was a refreshing lad who made time on the ward fun and filled with laughter. He was the type of person who you needed to be around when you were feeling down, he’d make you smile.

Then one day, a month away from going in for IV’s, i sat watching Granada news. I then heard something that shocked me and really upset me.
A picture of Joe was shown on the television screen. The reporters words were, “Boy of eleven murdered by fellow pupil!”
I remember sitting there speechless as my mum said, “You know him don’t you?”
I did know him, i knew him very well. Gutted, was a good word to describe one of the things i felt. Really gutted! No-one deserves to end their life that way but Joe! Joe Geeling the prankster of the ward?!?!
The one who had the CF battle on his hands had been killed by an older pupil for no reason whatsoever. No other reason except the boy wanted to play god i suppose.
I was sickened as they explained every detail as to how he was murdered. Without thinking i pictured it all in my head. Tears filled my eyes. I was honestly, devastated!
This was a friend i understood completely, who i had spent every hour of the two weeks on the ward getting to know him, 3 years of friendship just taken away never to be continued.

My emotions shocked me that day because granted i wasn’t family nor was i a close childhood friend, but i was a fellow patient who had the pleasure of knowing and forming a friendship with a lovely, kind and funny young man. A lad who already had enough to deal with on a day-to-day basis; without someone putting his life into their own hands. The way in which he was so brutally killed was heartbreaking. I never admitted it because i thought it was selfish of me to feel this way as i wasn’t close to Joe like a best friend was, like his brother or mother was. I just had a bond with him because we knew what each other was going through. It had a HUGE effect on me.
To know he wasn’t going to blurring his music out at 11pm on the ward anymore, to not have him offer me 1 for a quid or 5 for a tenner. There would be no late phone calls till he’d felt tired enough to sleep. The ward was always going to be at it’s quietest without Joe.
I was going to miss that little brother kid!

Months passed, years infact and still to this day i often think about Joe, just for a split second and i always think, “what would he of been doing with his life right now?”
I know that he is looking down and more than likely thinking, ‘what a girl!’ (Joe’s favourite insult).
Most of all, i know he is happily breathing easy watching over the ones he loves. Watching his doting parents and admiring all the charity work they do for CF Trust and Boothall Hospital. It makes me happy to know that he is no longer having to fight, he is in a better place than the world we live in.

My auntie bought a CD that was made in memory of Joe. All money went to The Joe Geeling Trust. A charity that then splits the profits between CF Trust and Boothall. He’d be proud of that.

When i dream of Joe, which isn’t often ... just sometimes, i hear his voice clearly and his laugh. It’s usually in the past when he was upto his old tricks. That’s how i remember Joe. My friend. My Special Friend.

I miss you Joe! Breathe Easy Now <3
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Biggest motivators ... biggest critics?

Afternoon all : )

I hope you are all well and happy; i just want to very quickly say how much i appreciate everyone taking the time to read my blogs, your kind words and support means the world to me. So thank you!

Today, my chest has felt great, IV’s have been administered and i have done thirty minutes on the treadmill again (speed = 5.0, inclined = 4%)
I know what you’re all thinking ... your thinking, “God she’s good”
Well you’re right ;) . . . . . . . . . Just kidding!
Today’s top pick of songs for while i trotted on the treadmill:

· Kelly Clarkson - My Life Would Suck Without You
· Miley Cyrus - The Climb
· Muse - Supermassive Black Hole
· Alice Cooper - Poison
· Kate Nash - Mouthwash
· Green Day - Wake Me Up When September Ends.

Today’s blog isn’t a planned one, i haven’t thought of what i am going to do. Therefore, you might have already gathered but i am writing whatever comes to my head.
Life is funny isn’t it? Do you not find it completely enticing?
Life excites me! You never know what comes next; you never have total control over your life. Somehow, it never fails to shock me, to surprise me or to make me think.

We all have that one person who we never seem to impress, we never seem to be good enough, never seem to be right in their opinion. We convince ourselves that we will be able to change their mind; it becomes our addiction to prove them wrong, to make them see our point of views ... still nothing. So i spit on my hands and take a fresh hold ... i’m running out of places to hold now though you see.
I don’t know about you but my biggest critic is someone i admire, someone i adore, someone i love with all my heart. I have been thinking and i have come to the conclusion that the reason why i see this person as my biggest critic is because they have no expectations of what they want me to be or what they want me to do. I came to the conclusion that in reality my biggest critic is me, myself and i.
I’m the one that try my hand at everything to impress this person, to make them say, “Congrats kid ... you did well!”
I am addicted to trying to get those words out of this person. To make that person say, “I am proud of you
Proud of me for something other than being a fighter with CF, something other than doing all my meds today, for going in the gym to improve my LF’s. I want this person to be proud of my grades at school; this doesn’t impress that person, this person isn’t interested. I want that person to read my blogs and be as supportive as my family or my other readers; this person doesn’t like me telling the world about my business. I want this person to say, “you tried you hardest that’s all i want” but my best isn’t good enough unless i win, so i give up.
My voice is never good enough and i agree ... there is always room for improvement but constantly being knocked down makes it harder to get back up again.

Our biggest critic is someone we slightly fear but also usually admire. It might be your boss, your mum, your dad, the boy you like in school, the girl you just can’t seem to get out of your head. Maybe it’s your little girl or boy, could even be a teacher/instructor.
Either way, when you really dig deep enough you realise that your biggest critic is yourself.
No-one is keeping you attached to that person but yourself, no-one else’s voice is saying, “there right that is pretty rubbish” but yourself, no-one adds to that doubt in the back of your head but yourself.

I just wanted to get that off my chest, seems abit boring possibly so if it is, i apologise ... just wanted to get that out.
Thank you for reading and please keep your eyes peeled for more blogs as they are on their way!!
Here is a list of things i am hoping to blog about soon:

· Cystic Fibrosis
· CF and friendships
· ‘Music 4 Life’ (annual charity event)
· Music
· And many more things!

Again thank you for taking the time to read.
I am going to reply to some of your comments on Facebook now : )

Take Care,
Sophie xoxox
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Me and my CF vs Counthill School.

Today has been a good one. (03/04/09)

I am on IV’s at the minute; it’s my third week and the new antibiotic is really kicking the infections bottom, so i am impressed! It’s called Amikacin; i love it!
Anyway, i felt great today. My chest hasn’t been half as bad as it previously has and my secretions aren’t as thick or sticky.
Today i also managed to do thirty minutes on the tread mill at a speed of 5.5 and i inclined 3%; not much but when you’re out of practice and LF’s at 54% it’s pretty damn good! Haha. I was proud of myself. However, most of all i was proud that i really enjoyed it, REALLY enjoyed it. I went on YouTube on my I-phone and listened to some tunes as i walked. My favourite pick of tunes today were:

· Decode – Paramore
· Misery Business – Paramore
· Supermassive Black Hole – Muse
· Walk This Way – Aerosmith ft Run DMC
· Famous Last Words – MCR (bit of a rock one there thrown in for good measures)
· Right Round – Flo Rida

When i had finished on the treadmill, i then ‘attempted’ to make cookies with one of my best friends Aimee Burns.
Photographic evidence shall be up shortly guys ;) HAHA!!
She also brought some schoolwork for me to complete over the Easter holidays. This leads me to my next subject the one i am making this blog about...

So this post isn’t a heartfelt tearjerker, it isn’t deep and meaningful, nor is it informal as such. This is just me explaining the situation with my school; explaining the situation for alot of CF’s throughout their school years. I attend Counthill Secondary School. For those of you who are unfamiliar with it, here is a little information:

Counthill School was opened in 1951 and consists of approximately 1100 children, 80 teaching staff and around 60 support staff. Pupils attending the school are of mixed race and between the ages of 11-16. This means, years 7-11 (senior 1-4 ... i think).
The school has been put into special measures, it has been for about 4-5 years now. Anyway, at the minute they are building an ‘academy’; here Counthill and another school called Breezehill will merge to form one huge academy.
I fail to see how putting two failing and fighting schools together will make an improvement; just my opinion anyway.

I am in year 11 and i am just around the corner to sitting my GCSE’s. Here is where my story begins.
When i started at school. The CF nurses, nutritionists and physio’s all went up to talk to the whole faculty including; head teacher, deputy heads, head of years, head of all departments as well as the senco officers. They wanted to make sure everyone in the school was fully aware of who i was and why i was so special. They had to explain my illness and the needs that have to be met as well as the repercussions of my CF.
From then on every parents evening; my parents would ask every single one of my teachers if they knew that i had CF and what that meant. However, more than likely the answer was no.
In my opinion, this is appalling to think none of my teachers were aware of my condition and that i even had it. So yet again, the CF nurses had to write letters to all of my teachers. Sadly this is a reoccurring issue. To this day it still is.

Throughout school, my attendance hasn’t been great...when your ill there is nothing you can do about that atall. Hospitalizations, hospital check-ups, port flushes as well as not feeling upto going in school due to chest infections.
Well last year, as you may know from my previous post. I was never in school; i reckon i missed three quarters of year 10. Year 10 is the important year for coursework. Heading into year 11, i missed the first month as i was recovering from my operation. I was in school for October and i had to complete all of my coursework, work that fellow students had been doing for the past year; i had to complete in less than a few months. I was told by my English teacher that she was putting me forward to sit my GCSE early. She thought i would be capable to do it. This meant i had to complete ALL English coursework; 3 essays, 1 original piece of writing and 2 speaking and listening exams too. To my amazement in all of the coursework i got A’s and sat my GCSE to overall get a B in English. I just had to mention that because it is one of the proudest moments in my life so far Haha! Sad i know ;)

So after that whole thing, i was off yet again with a chest infection, i returned the following week and was sent home after coughing a little in Science; i felt as though they didn’t want me to be a liability. The next day arrived and i went back to school, yet again i was sent home after P.E because i had a coughing fit. Yes i understand that for someone who isn’t used to this kind of thing; it must be rather scary, however, ive been at the school for 5 years now; they all know i have CF and they all know that during exercise i will cough as many ‘normal’ people do. The things that annoyed me most was that i was fine immediately after taking my inhaler, they thought it was best i go home though and took it upon themselves to phone home. Also, while i was coughing my teacher ran over to me, asking if my ‘asthma’ was playing up again?!?! Asthma!
“I wish”, was my reply to the question. My friend explained AGAIN that i had CF while i calmed my breathing down.

For the past 3 week i have been off school with a bad chest. Not one phone call to see how i was doing, to see if they could call down with some work ... nothing.My mum got a letter through the post last week. It basically stated that:
“Your child’s attendance is very poor ... If you do not produce a formal letter (either a doctor’s note, prescription etc), the matter will be taken to court.”
My mum was totally disgusted with this letter and rang the attendance co-ordinator at school. She apologised and said she wasn’t aware what was going on but did however need to see this formal statement. Yet again, my CF team have to go into school and repeat themselves. I feel like we are fighting a losing battle with them and that the CF team are wasting their time having to repeat the same things over and over.

In schools pupils are just a number. A number on attendance records, a percentage on grade results. It’s a shame that schools are more cautious of Ofsted reports then they are pupils well being. To me Counthill has given me and my parents more hassle then going there was ever worth. I’ve witnessed racist violence and i am not just talking a push and punch fight, i mean full blown brawl with chairs being thrown and people being stabbed.
How are pupils supposed to feel safe in a war zone like that?
Something that i struggle to understand is the plan to merge two schools that are at war with each other constantly, surely this new academy will be turned upside down by the fights that will be taking place in there. I for one am glad that i only have a couple more months at the school and then i will be going to Oldham Sixth Form.

I think the whole ‘attendance’ thing is something that CF sufferers and many other people with illnesses have trouble with. Thus, adding to my list of reasons for me to believe that pupils are just a number.

Well my rant is over now, i just thought i’d raise awareness of how Counthill show support to their pupils.
Take Care,
Sophie xoxo
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