Biggest motivators ... biggest critics?

Afternoon all : )

I hope you are all well and happy; i just want to very quickly say how much i appreciate everyone taking the time to read my blogs, your kind words and support means the world to me. So thank you!

Today, my chest has felt great, IV’s have been administered and i have done thirty minutes on the treadmill again (speed = 5.0, inclined = 4%)
I know what you’re all thinking ... your thinking, “God she’s good”
Well you’re right ;) . . . . . . . . . Just kidding!
Today’s top pick of songs for while i trotted on the treadmill:

· Kelly Clarkson - My Life Would Suck Without You
· Miley Cyrus - The Climb
· Muse - Supermassive Black Hole
· Alice Cooper - Poison
· Kate Nash - Mouthwash
· Green Day - Wake Me Up When September Ends.

Today’s blog isn’t a planned one, i haven’t thought of what i am going to do. Therefore, you might have already gathered but i am writing whatever comes to my head.
Life is funny isn’t it? Do you not find it completely enticing?
Life excites me! You never know what comes next; you never have total control over your life. Somehow, it never fails to shock me, to surprise me or to make me think.

We all have that one person who we never seem to impress, we never seem to be good enough, never seem to be right in their opinion. We convince ourselves that we will be able to change their mind; it becomes our addiction to prove them wrong, to make them see our point of views ... still nothing. So i spit on my hands and take a fresh hold ... i’m running out of places to hold now though you see.
I don’t know about you but my biggest critic is someone i admire, someone i adore, someone i love with all my heart. I have been thinking and i have come to the conclusion that the reason why i see this person as my biggest critic is because they have no expectations of what they want me to be or what they want me to do. I came to the conclusion that in reality my biggest critic is me, myself and i.
I’m the one that try my hand at everything to impress this person, to make them say, “Congrats kid ... you did well!”
I am addicted to trying to get those words out of this person. To make that person say, “I am proud of you
Proud of me for something other than being a fighter with CF, something other than doing all my meds today, for going in the gym to improve my LF’s. I want this person to be proud of my grades at school; this doesn’t impress that person, this person isn’t interested. I want that person to read my blogs and be as supportive as my family or my other readers; this person doesn’t like me telling the world about my business. I want this person to say, “you tried you hardest that’s all i want” but my best isn’t good enough unless i win, so i give up.
My voice is never good enough and i agree ... there is always room for improvement but constantly being knocked down makes it harder to get back up again.

Our biggest critic is someone we slightly fear but also usually admire. It might be your boss, your mum, your dad, the boy you like in school, the girl you just can’t seem to get out of your head. Maybe it’s your little girl or boy, could even be a teacher/instructor.
Either way, when you really dig deep enough you realise that your biggest critic is yourself.
No-one is keeping you attached to that person but yourself, no-one else’s voice is saying, “there right that is pretty rubbish” but yourself, no-one adds to that doubt in the back of your head but yourself.

I just wanted to get that off my chest, seems abit boring possibly so if it is, i apologise ... just wanted to get that out.
Thank you for reading and please keep your eyes peeled for more blogs as they are on their way!!
Here is a list of things i am hoping to blog about soon:

· Cystic Fibrosis
· CF and friendships
· ‘Music 4 Life’ (annual charity event)
· Music
· And many more things!

Again thank you for taking the time to read.
I am going to reply to some of your comments on Facebook now : )

Take Care,
Sophie xoxox
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1 comment:

  1. Wow hun that must make you feel pounds better now!!!and we are all our worst crititics as we always strive to do better achive more and be accepted by all.Just remember babe you are loved and respected by all around you an your friends have one of the best agony aunties in the world ha ha, carry on writing its fantastic reading migt have to take my laptop on holiday love ya millions n