lilly's story continues..

i didn't think lilly's story would continue.
i didn't think there would be a "next" for lilly but apparently there is.....

the night crept up on me like it did every other night but this one felt different.. i felt sick to my stomach.
i gripped a tight hold of that little float like there was no tomorrow, i knew if this one slipped away from me, i'd be a gonner! this thunderstorm was brewing tonight and i was completely alone in the darkness. the rain belted down on my face, piercing it like little shards of glass. i saw that old float that i longed to come back just circle round me a few times, it was as if it was taunting me, laughing at me struggling while it bopped along carefree!
the air and sky turned darker, colder and louder. the thunder and lightning crashed down on the surface.. creating an almighty tidal wave. i was thrown into the air and then smacked against the bottom of the seabed as the waves tumbled on top of me, keeping me down. i lay there submerged, i just wanted to stay here. i was suffocating, the pain, the heaviness.. it was nothing i had ever felt before and i was beaten like never before too.
"YOU WIN!!" i screamed, gulping more sea water as i did so.
"YOU WIN!!" i screamed again.. i was a broken shell of the who i used to be.
"I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE! I DON'T WANT TO ANYMORE! I CAN'T!" i pleaded, willing it to stop with my pathetic cries.
"I GIVE UP.. PLEASE! LET ME GIVE UP" i begged as the pain and heaviness got worse.. i couldn't breathe as my eyes closed just when a flash of lightning struck.. that light stayed shining in my eyes, burning.

'is this the light everyone talks about?' i questioned?
'is this the light that guides you to the next destination?' i wondered.
i woke with a splash in the face off this little red fish. it was a ronjon fish. he told me the light was what people had been talking about.. not the light that would take me on my next destination.. just the light i had to see to know it's not all darkness, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
he told me things that made me feel understood, made me feel like i wasn't alone no matter how much it felt that way, made me feel like this is just an end of one chapter and that another was just about to open up...

chapter 2.
a few days have gone and the storm seems to be calming, i daren't speak too soon.. i see no sunshine yet.. just flickers of sunlight every so often.
there it was.. i rubbed my eyes, once, twice, four times!
'am i dreaming?', i thought to myself.
the sand looked as white as a bed of white roses.
the palm tree's swayed to the waves that were carrying me along to this beautiful place.
i saw a little island and it was real, it was right in front of me.. i just had to kick a little harder.. i just had to cling to this float just a little while longer but i was close, i was real close now!
what was this feeling of apprehension?
i know what it was.. as my grip tightened around the sturdy float that i had clung to over the final few days of the storm.. i realised i was nervous. nervous to be out of my bubble, to let go of what had become my protection from everything bad that had been going on.. i didn't need that float if i stepped foot on land.
i was scared.. can i do this on my own?
can i do this as my own person?
i had to find out.. i'm too nosey for my own good to not have a see!
i just had to kick a little harder.. i just had to cling to this float just a little while longer but i was close, i was real close now!

.... to be continued.
i left you with a question last time, this week it isn't a question anymore!
it's a statement to anyone who can relate to lilly, who feels like they completely understand lilly's struggle.


this song is a brilliant one :)    
i love matt bellamy. the only men i need in my life are my papa, my grandad, my ronjon fish and mr matthew bellamy
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