swings, roundabouts and 2009

Hellooooo?!

Is anyone even out there still? :D
wow so.. i’ve not done one of these for a real long time. just either had nothing to say or no inspiration. I’d let go of something i loved doing; something i’m often told i’m very good at. I’m writing this in the car on my i-phone, on the way home from a Miley Cyrus concert; Uncle Neil would not be pleased with the spelling, punctuation and grammar. :D it’s so hard to type on an i-phone in a moving car! :) quickly popping back to Miss Cyrus! :O i have a few words to say about that girl i’ll tell you!

Lets start off with a little update, well at the minute i am pretty much full of a cold and i’m really trying to be a big, brave girl and ignore it... but it’s a cold it brings you down don’t it. so the happy, ‘cheer up’ songs start to be played on the i-phone :D
i had such an amazing Christmas! Loved every minute of it <3

Anyway, so christmas yet again has come and gone and a new year is soon to start.
this year has been rather mental! Maybe that’s why it’s flown by huh?
lots of highs, many low’s.. big decisions, small disagreements.. some firsts, some ‘never to be done again’ lasts.. sad losses and major gains! 2009 has been bloody good!! Just those swings and roundabouts keeping life interesting. After all no rest for the wicked eh? ;)

So the year started off in January with me being in my final months of year 11. No more school after may. I remember being so excited but so scared also. It was like.. my wakeup call; i’m growing up!
i’ll always be my dad’s little girl and a big kid at heart but i’m growing up, i’m getting older now, more mature, more intelligent, more wise, more respectful, more appreciative, more dedicated. I’m still learning though.. and i learned a few lessons this year.
So we sailed into February and it was my cousin’s 21st party :) Sam Ogden! It was a awesome party, she looked stunning and got spoiled of course :D
March came along and GCSE’s were dawning closer and closer. It was time to get my head down and work my arse off for these grades i wanted so intensely, i needed so badly! So i revised and i revised.
April soon came and someone in particular stopped me in my tracks. Ladies and gentleman .. Mr. Arran Barnes.
now this boy came and shook my world a little bit. I fell head over heels just like my dad always said i would for the boy i fell hardest for. we had a rocky start and things were exceptional then suddenly broken promises leaded to broken smiles and broken friendships. i was a little dazed for a while.. but i had to snap out of it fast because May have arrived sooner than i expected!
HELLO GCSE’S!!
I’d done all i could to try and get good grades on coursework to give me that little boost but now all i could do was try my best and hope it would be good enough...
June 2009.
school was over and done with; i’d never have to step foot in one of those classrooms again. Only two things left that involved that school... number one? PROM!
it was such a good night, everyone looked stunning and handsome and they all behaved.. most of them!
There were no after parties were allowed for Miss Sophie Jayne Wheeler but after the tales i got told afterwards i was glad of that.
July arrived with a bang as a major fall out was only just erupting. i thought i lost a best friend that month. but she sneaked back into my life later on in the year. My birthday was soon to follow and i was trying to forget about my disruption were friends were concerned. I had a little picnic in the park which ended disastrously as it rained so we all went back to my house and then later on i had a meal with my mum, dad and Beth. i was 16 now.
August.. August.. hmmm not that much happened really.. OH YEAH .... Mr. Arran Barnes was back and i was really happy about it, i began to fall for him all over again hoping this time; things would be different.
number two involvement with Counthill? RESULTS DAY!
the results were in and after the full year 10 out and rushed coursework as well as, a dismal amount of educated knowledge in my head i prayed to god i’d have enough to get into Oldham sixth form college. ... ... FINGERS CROSSED!
wooooooooooooooooooooo! I was in.. no doubt about that what with an A in English thanks to my superior English literature mind ;) haha. That right there is my proudest accomplishment in life up to now. :D
September.
A sneaky friend managed her way back into my life as i gave her a second chance, i believe her apology; silly me huh?
anyway, college started and i was due to start four courses.. humanities, maths, psychology and sociology; all in a pursuit to continue into further education and become a child psychologist.
my main dream is to be a writer but for now.. i’m happy with it just being a release and a hobby.
OCTOBER 2009
well.... halloweeen was a complete disaster! Not going to go into too much detail but the ‘friend’ i gave a second chance to blow it and i learned a couple of valuable lessons. So did a couple of other people also. Shame really because i felt a little gutted that i’d lost a friend and then i realised.. she obviously never was a friend in the first place.
from now on.. i stick to my close 6 friends and i’m happy with that. (:
NOVEMBER
I had a rather shaky start to November.. i seemed to have caught some virus but the symptoms i had were all signs of swine flu so as a precaution i was given tamiflu. This knocked me sick for a long period of time after taking but eventually it would pass. After the 5 days on tamiflu.. my symptoms hadn’t faded, so clearly i had not got pig flu! Just a virus maybe? Whatever it was it needed to go QUICK my holiday was coming up very fast and soon it was here!
ORLANDO, FLORIDA, USA!!!! I loved every minute of it and i’d just like to thank Beth (my sister), auntie max and Arran. mainly i’d like to really thank my mum and dad who work there bottoms off so me and Beth get everything we want and more and sometimes i may not be the best child in the world and i know i cause you so much worry most of the time but as long as you know that this pain in the arse kid is so appreciative and thankful for everything you do for me.. i’m happy (: i love you two!
DECEMBER
i started my IV and they put me on this new mixture of antibiotics.. tazocin and amakacin. I’d been on both of these before but never together. First dose was fine except for this excruciating pain i got in my back that left me lying down for a while. The nurse said it wasn’t a side effect of any of the medicines so i assumed i’d pulled myself whilst coughing.. second dose.. again this pain floored me for ages! Third dose.. i felt so heavy; i literally couldn’t move and if somehow i managed to i’d feel like falling to the ground i just felt too heavy and my appetite dissaperated! Surely this wasn’t right?
my mum phoned the hospital up but they assured her it was nothing to do with the IV’s and to continue. So she did.
third day.. i wasn’t eating a thing. I was unable to move, i had a temperature and i was so lapsidasicle, my mum said i looked blue. I was rushed to A&E were they placed me in recuss, put oxygen on me, wired me up to a drip and was monitoring me constantly.. one on one nurse i had :D
my doctor came bursting through the doors in a panic; he thought my lung had collapsed but after a few examinations it was clear that a collapsed lung wasn’t the problem but the drugs were. They stopped my IV and changed my antibiotics. They think i had an allergic reaction to the mixture and that’s what triggered the relapse. I was let out of hospital after a few days and i was shocked to say snow on the floor, i was banned from playing out though as my mum put me in hibernation! :D
Christmas arrived fairly quickly and Santa brought me and my sister lots of amazing presents! :D
my favourites being my Ed Hardy watch AND our keyboard! :D <3 THANKYOU father Christmas!!!

So this year is very, very nearly over, some great things have happened and i wouldn’t change any of it for anything or anyone. It started with me smiling and it’s ending with me smiling. (: funny as it started with me having a cold and it’s ending with me having a cold but still smiling! :D
Well.. finally i best right a few things i expect from 2010 but before that i just want to say thank you for reading! I’m sorry it’s been so long. I lost my way for a while but i’m back with 5 other blogs in the ‘rough draft’ process. So it shant be too long before i make a return here... keep a look out!
I hope you all have an excellent new year! And enjoy every minute but be careful and safe!
I hope there are no sad losses, goodbyes, illness or deaths. I wish you all the luck in the world that 2010 will be one with many smiles, plenty of laughs and buckets of happiness...
ENJOY AND THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN!! :)
Take Care, Sophie xoxo

NEW YEAR?
• I hope to pass all my exams in May at Oldham Sixth Form
• I hope to stay happy and healthy all year
• I hope to continue loving every minute of my relationship <3
• I hope to ENJOY, LOVE, LAUGH, SMILE and LIVE every moment of every day.

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Butterflies & Hurricanes !!

Bonjour ladies & gentleman,
So i’ve been terrible lately and have neglected my writing; i just haven’t wrote a thing .... i had no sudden inspiration or any motivation to write anything atall. My reason is pathetic but true.
Well, things have change dramatically. I am going to let you all know about my past three weeks and what i have planned out etc.

God i forgot how much i adore writing :)
I have muse on my i-pod so it’s blasting out through my ear phones and into my head at the moment :D
It just doesn’t get any better ... well until you play paramore every now and again :D
I have taken a very strong liking to Paramore ever so recently. I’ve always loved them ... they just always seem to be being played on my i-phone (:

Okay i am going to be going in the gym this morning ... treadmill for 30 minutes non-stop!
i know!!!! I have just had a good idea, let’s have a blast from the past:
“Today’s gym playlist!”
- Plug In Baby – Muse
- Butterflies & Hurricanes – Muse
- Crush, Crush, Crush – Paramore
- That’s what you get – Paramore
- Ignorance – Paramore
- That’s what you get for waking up in Vegas – Katy Perry
- Decode – Paramore
- Holiday – Green Day
- Radio – Beyonce
- Supermassive Black Hole – Muse (of course)

Okay well since my last, little, tiny, baby blog i have had my birthday; watched my sister’s keeper with my mama and my auntie, been admitted into the new Manchester children’s hospital for a week, been tested for swine flu, had an obsession with strawberry jelly, laughed uncontrollably at my cousin Samantha, read two books, got discharged from hospital, had chicken foo yung from the chippy, bought charms for my gorgeous charm bracelet, fallen in love with twilight all over again, started re-reading new moon, started writing again, watched the new harry potter and had plans for every day of this week.

Shall i explain in more detail?
Let’s rewind back three weeks ago today .... Thursday 9th of July 2009.

“Happy Birthday to me!!”
It was my 16th birthday and i got a pink camera off my mama, my papa and my little sister, charm bracelet off my auntie and her fiancée, charms off my uncle and cousin, t-shirts off my other auntie and cousin, trinket box off my nana, clock off my other auntie, make-up off my other uncle and auntie, money off everyone else in the family and friends and of course it’s impossible to forget my teddy and take-that concert tickets off chrissy (my cousin) and Linzi (his wife) <3

How did i celebrate my 16th???
I had a picnic in the park!!! :D How cool am i?
It turned out to be a chill day at my house though because it rained! :(
I chickened out of standing under an umbrella even though it was boiling because i didn’t fancy having a cold so instead i brought everyone to my house!
I also had a meal with my family ... my dad, my mum and little sister. It was scrumptious.
I then watched my sister’s keeper with my mum and auntie the night after. I didn’t really like it personally. Alot of people did but not me. I have to say i’ve never been to a film where all you can hear is the audience crying until that day of course.
Well the next day was Saturday and i had planned to have a curry night with my mum, my sister and one of my auntie’s .... this idea went down the drain when i was taken down to A+E at Manchester Children’s hospital by my mama.

I had an outrageous temperature; i was aching, tired, breathless and had a very chesty cough. After 6 hours in A&E i decided i was starving; bear in mind the time was nine o’clock at night and i hadn’t eaten since 12 dinnertime! My blood sugars decided to be naughty and they dipped to 2.3; this is pretty low especially for me as they tend to stay between 4-7 which is normal.
However, the nurse wouldn’t listen to me when i told her it was because i hadn’t eaten and insisted on me drinking a glass full of blackcurrant juice ... nice right?
NO! She had also added 5 table spoons full of sugar into the glass. I had one sip and heaved immensely! It was nasty so my mum went to McDonalds and got some food and full fat coke! :D WOOOO!!
My sugars slowly but surely crawled back up.

So i reluctantly spent my ‘birthday weekend’ in hospital on ward 77, cubicle 18. /my failed attempts of pleading, begging and then arguing with the doctor got me nowhere! :D I suppose it was a good job as the antibiotics were started sooner rather than later ... i’d already pushed them away a week late.
On the Monday morning i was hoping i’d be allowed to go home however i knew i wouldn’t be able to as i still needed oxygen overnight as well as during the day, my temperature was through the roof most of the time and overall i just felt really ill.
The doctor came and my suspicions were confirmed i wasn’t allowed to go home and they wanted to get me swabbed for swine flu just as a precaution as i was showing most of the symptoms.
Hahaha. :D
It’s funny to look back now because the nurse i had that day had come into my cubicle that morning with my medicines and i remember sneezing five times in a row; which is nothing new for me but she joked, “Oh no! Don’t give me swine flu!”
The joke wasn’t funny anymore for her as she came in with a throat swab wearing a disposable apron, gloves and a very disgusted face on her. I thought this was hilarious as she didn’t even have to touch me; she gave me the swab to swirl around the back of my throat and then allowed me to stick it into the little pot thing. She then walked out of my room taking very shallow breaths ... it was as if she didn’t want to breathe in the air that i was breathing anymore. This fascinated me immensely. Needless to say i didn’t see her all day until she gave me my IV again wearing a disposable apron and gloves.

My cousin came to visit me that day; she had me smiling but i was a little miserable from having to stay in hospital so i bet i was a horrible visiting person. :D
I laughed at her when she returned from the canteen eating a tiny milky way bar VERY slowly; the next quote is courtesy of Miss Samantha Ogden.
“I’m going to really enjoy this tiny chocolate bar, savour each bite and really get the full effect of the chocolate seen as though it cost me 60p!”
Now as miserable as i was .... that made me laugh!
Samantha came to visit me three times while i was in hospital ... i love her even more for that; just gives you that boost when you have someone there to make you laugh and bring you jelly!!! :)
That’s right ladies and gentleman i had a craving for strawberry jelly so i looked on the menu and to my delight ... jelly was on the list.
It was a massive let down when i realised the jelly was sugar free and therefore; would taste horrible. I was right it was like water; just had no taste whatsoever so i was not pleased!
Samantha promised she would bring me some though and she sure did. :D
She even dressed up as a nurse one night and then washed my hair for me ... that was funny!
I honestly do Love my Samantha. Thank you ........... <3

I read a book named ‘the host – by Stephanie Meyers’ and also started to read a book named ‘Marked – by P.C Cast & Kristen Cast’
I loved both books but if i have to choose a favourite i’d pick the host .... it seemed like it was reaching out to a more mature audience than the ‘marked’ book.
That helped pass alot of time (:
So i had been in there a week and was really wanting to go home now so the plan was if i could stay off oxygen all night without my oxygen levels dipping below 92 i’d be allowed home.

It was time for bed on the 16th of July and i was taking deep breaths trying to boost my oxygen levels up quick before i fell asleep :D haha.
I soon dozed off and then when i woke up the following morning there was no oxygen mask in sight! Yay!! The doctor’s came round at 10 and my bags were already packed and ready to go by the time they got there :)
They took one look at me; dressed, hair done, bags packed and must have thought, “she’s missing her coat on”
He smiled at me and then said, “you can continue IV’s at home but any relapse and you come straight back here and we will assess you.”
i agreed and nodded happily a smile on my face and then rang my mum to tell her to pick me up! :D i wanted to go home (:

A week after being admitted they decided it was best if i went on another week of IV’s and also decided to start me on a new nebuliser named ‘tobi neb’ it’s an antibiotic then you inhale through a nebuliser. Hopefully, this will do the trick. I actually start it today ... apparently it’s extremely irritant and will really irritate my throat making it itch. So fingers crossed i can handle it because i’d rather stick to what i am doing now if i have to put up with a constant itch whilst on this nebuliser.
Anyways i’ll be sure to let you all know how i get on tomorrow.

Well back to where i was up too.....
Last Friday i had Chicken Foo Yung from the curry and a glass of Jacques :O it was the most delicious thing i have ever eaten and drank in my whole entire life!
I can actually taste it and crave it right now as i type :D hahaha.
Truly scrumptious! So i thought i would let you all know that if ever your travelling throughout Oldham and you fancy chicken foo yung for tea or dinner i advice you go to Shaw chippy near Tara leisure.
It’s lovely !!!

I have mentioned earlier that i got a charm bracelet for my birthday off my auntie and then some charms off my uncle. I got a total of £70 and decided to spend it on some more charms and also some clothes for sixth form. Well i went to the jewellers and got a little carried away ... i now have £30 left to spend on clothes. :/
I had no idea just how expensive these things were but still i have £30 that will buy me a few tops from Primark and possibly some accessories if i am lucky :D hahaha. I Love my charm bracelet just a little too much. Haha. It’s really beautiful and special because no-one will ever have the same as mine (: it is unique and all mine!

Finally i announced and admitted to the world that i have rekindled my affair with twilight.
Not just the film ... but the books as well i was re-reading new moon just the other day.
Why?
Well if you have never seen twilight you won’t understand just how addictive it truly is and if you haven’t read the books you won’t understand just how sneaky Stephanie Meyers (the author) is!
She wrote all four of the books in first person so as you read it ... so as the reader you feel like your reading YOUR story ... it sounds like this....

“About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him-and I didn’t know how potent that part might be-that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.” –Bella Swan (Twilight –Stephanie Meyers)

And makes Edward sound like this ....
“Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars, points of light and reason. ….And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn’t see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.” –Edward Cullen (Twilight-Stephanie Meyers)

So as you can see........ it is IMPOSSIBLE not to fall in love with the character because the person who’s story your reading makes it your story by telling it in first person, “i was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him” .... and then Edward’s sweet talking and Robert Pattinson’s gorgeousness doesn’t help matters :D hahaha.
Enough about twilight now ...... let’s look at the future

Here are some things i have lined up for you:
• “Shushhhh” – a blog on my mama <3
• “Ma Familia” – the other half to blog about some of my family
• “Counthill 04-09” – a blog on my year 11 leaver’s class and prom (it will be filled with pictures mainly)
• “My newest writing expedition” – a blog on my new project!! Very exciting stuff!

Okay well i am off to go in the gym before i’m down at hospital with physio and LUNG FUNCTIONS.....dun dun dunnnn!!! :O :O :O
Hope you have a lovely day :) And of course, thank you for reading ...
Take Care, Sophie xoxo

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Quick Update

Afternoon all :)
Long time no blog eyy?
I hope you have all been well and happy.

I’m doing ... okay; bit of a cough but i am going to be blaming the weather. It’s weird because my chest doesn’t feel great and it sounds really chesty but during physio and even huge coughing fits after laughter nothing comes up so i’m rather confused.
I’m also considering the possibility of it being caused by my hayfever. I have this itch in my throat ... usually it’s more of a tickle; but the word itch seems more appropriate, seems more vivid and aggressive. Well this is what i have and it causes me to cough obviously. My nose has been running alot too and sneezing is another common thing i do. My eyes are fine; however, i have noticed that if i am outside near plants and especially freshly cut grass my eyes itch but only a tiny bit. Maybe it’s nothing but i am just putting 2 and 2 together.
I’ve also noticed that i am struggling to breathe too. I’m hardly gasping for breath and ringing the ambulance for oxygen but i just notice my breathing if that makes sense?
It’s louder and faster so i tend to be using my inhaler alot now. I’m thinking this is due to the weather and the sticky, clammy, humid air; but then again, it’s been overcast today and the climate has dropped alot so maybe it’s my hayfever cough making my airways swell up and close down. I feel like my throat his closing up on me.

Well i completed my course of cipro (the tablet that makes you burn in sunlight) on Thursday last week. So my time of pretending to be a vampire was over i no longer had to avoid the sunshine. I had to put the books away and the TV remote down and step outside into the beautiful sunshine and what happens? The black clouds covered Oldham and it never rains in this lovely country ... it bloomin’ pours!!

I haven’t really got much information or gossip to tell you. I’m thinking of writing a hidden true life story of Counthill’s class of 09. A good peek into the gossip, the drama and the school but all top secretly. I’ll change the names and i’ll change the days so that you can have a look at my Counthill school life :)
Just a thought.
Anyway, i have to go now but have no fear ... i have 4 blogs in the making. I’m writing them all at different times so they’re abit all over the place but they will be up soon.
Thanks for reading this little update blog!

Take Care, Sophie xoxo

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Tulips & Pansies

Evening all : )
Hope everyone is happy and well. The title of this blog is totally irrelevant to the blog. There just my favourite flowers in the world : ) i got bored and decided to redecorate my blog as well. I like butterflies as they represent having healthy lungs and breathing easy (:
I actually have designed what i want to be my first tattoo and it is three roses obviously explained in a previous blog tied together by a ribbon which shall then be turned into a butterfly. It looks better than it sounds trust me :D
So a little catch up first of all as i haven’t wrote for ages!!! : (

Okay well, i have left school now it’s just unofficially. Over the past four week i have been sitting my GCSE’s i started off with 15 and i am now down to the final four. I sit these on Monday the 22nd of June 2009 and then ladies and gentlemen i will have officially left Counthill Secondary School.
I am saddened and yet excited at the same time. I feel ready to move on with my life now; step into the next chapter of the book. It’s a major point in my life, i’m no longer a school kid and it’s pretty scary but it’s also the best thing that is probably going to happen to me in 2009!
It’s all very exciting. Then i have my prom on the 23rd of June 2009 so i am overjoyed about that too!
I have my prom dress, prom shoes, bag, accessories and everything all ready and waiting. I am really looking forward to that too.

So recently, my chest hasn’t behaved itself and it has turned abit rubbish. Not a chest infection ... just rubbish! To stop an infection creating itself inside my lungs the doctors have put me on an antibiotic called ciprofloxacin. I’ve been on it in the past and it clears me up wonderfully so hopefully it should do the trick.
The only problem is we finally get sunshine in Oldham and i’m not allowed in it as i’ll burn.
The antibiotic makes you prone to burning when in the sunlight. I decided i would risk this theory and went to the park on Sunday; which as you may or may not know, was a beautifully sunny day. I was wearing a vest, a dress and black leggings. I was only at the park for roughly an hour and later on that night i had red feet from where my dolly shoes hadn’t covered them and red legs up to where my leggings had been. I also had red cheeks, a red forehead and of course a red nose.
My arms had been covered up by a cardigan i had worn so they were fine thankfully.
Let’s just say ... lesson learned.
My mum found this rather amusing and so did my little sister ( :

Well i have a few things i really want to do once i’ve finished school and have nothing to do. So i’m making a list therefore i can’t forget. Oh oh oh ... it’s my birthday in 18 days and i will be 16 years old. (: I now need your help to give me some ideas as to what to do for it. “/ i am struggling for ideas you see so if you have any; they will be greatly appreciated. Anyway, back to my ‘to-do’ list.

1) When it’s a nice day i want to go to my Grandad’s grave and make it look pretty with some tulips and pansies : )
2) I want to go bowling; i haven’t been in ages so i defiantly want to go there.
3) I want to have a huge movie night with a few friends. Popcorn, sweets, crisps, chocolate etc.
4) I want to buy a new book to read preferably ‘the host’ or ‘the secret’
5) I want to go to the pictures with people i haven’t been there with before so i’m going with Robyn, Kyle, Dean & Josh on Saturday : )
6) Want to go shopping with my mum at the Trafford centre.
7) I want to spend one full day with my dad.
8) I want to have a sleepover with my little sister; suppose we’ll watch Hannah Montana movie again “/ haha.
9) Start going on walks again; i went on a walk every day the other week and then the rain came out so we couldn’t go anymore but i really liked walking (:
10) Could do with getting back into swimming again also.
11) Organise all my med’s.
12) Sort out my wardrobe & drawers. Throw some clothes and shoes away or infact send them to charity shops. (:
13) I’m going to have a belated spring clean in my room.
14) Have a good chat with some of my friends.
15) Do a blog on my friends from school; just write a few notes on each person that has left an impression on me.
16) Complete a few blogs that are at the moment incomplete.
17) Buy new make-up and accessories with whatever money i get from my birthday.
18) Decide what to do for my birthday.
19) Write a story on some of the goings on of Counthill :D haha. (My auntie Maxine’s idea)
20) Go to my auntie max’s for the night and just have a girly night.
21) Have a ghost whisperer day with my auntie Sonia.
22) Allow my uncle Lee Lee to BORROW my lost box set.
23) Watch series five of lost.
24) Have a good birthday.
25) Let my mum and dad go out for the night while i look after my sister so she best be a good little devil! :D
26) Watch the film ‘Fame’ because i have never seen it before.
27) Think of more things to add to my little to do list (:


Well this blog hasn’t really got any meaning it’s just a little introduction to some of my family. AND please take note that i say SOME of my family.
I have a huge family and i’d say we are really close. The thing is there’s that many that i haven’t even met some of them or i hardly ever see them. Therefore, the people mentioned in this blog are the people i see quite often or that are really close to me. (:


Auntie Maxine - Okay so my auntie Maxine has had a quick mention in a previous blog and she’s overall great. She is one of my godparents and i’d say i am extremely close to my Auntie Max; she knows everything about me and when i just need a chat and someone to bounce me back i go to my Auntie Max’s for a brew, my tea and a chat : )
She is very good; i recommend her to anyone in need of a sponge ;)
Only my Auntie Max will understand that. She sees herself as a sponge you see she’ll soak up all your worries and problems as long as you feel better afterwards and then somewhere along the line she releases all her worries and problems. My Auntie max is a really good inspiration you know for woman. She doesn’t need anybody, doesn’t rely or depend on nobody. She is such a strong and independent woman that if i turned out like her when i’m older I’d more than likely be the happiest woman living just like she is.
I believe i am very much like my auntie max and we have discussed this before. (: Auntie Maxine will support me in whatever i aim to achieve, i know she’ll be there behind me all the way and when i need her the most whatever time of day i know she’ll gladly help me out. She is always there for me when i need her without a doubt and for that i am eternally grateful. Don’t mess with her though she’ll knock you clean out!

Auntie Sandra – My auntie Sandra just has the ability to put a smile on my face and all i have to do is say her name and as if by magic a smile appears. She is one of the loveliest people you will ever have the privilege of meeting. She is another one of my godparents and again someone i am rather close too.
Although i don’t see her that much i know that if i needed her for whatever reason she’d be ready and waiting with a brew (:
My Auntie Sandra is someone that will do anything for you if she is capable of doing so. A pure heart of gold that adores her grandchildren and would buy them the universe if that’s what they wanted. We have had a few good chats me and my Auntie Sandra and afterwards i always feel better about whatever it was that was bothering me. She manages to make everything okay. I like a little quote she often refers too when she is talking to me.
She says i am like her little bud that is now flowering into this beautiful flower and it’s so precious and fragile yet so strong and beautiful at the same time. The flower has so many different tones and colours that you can never really classify it under one thing.
She is the loveliest, kindest, greatest chef i know (: So stick the kettle on for her and she’ll be round...or crack open the bottle of wine ;)

Auntie Sharon - My auntie Sharon is again another one of the loveliest people you’ll have the pleasure of meeting. This is a woman who will do anything for anyone; she puts others before her to make sure they are okay.
I think there isn’t a child in the family who hasn’t had Auntie Sharon as a child minder at one stage of their life. All my friends remember her as being the dinner lady at Watersheddings primary school. I can’t remember being in reception very well but i do remember asking her to shout at kids who wouldn’t be my friend. (: i was a lovely torettes ridden child you see.
She has alot of problems with her back and most of the time she is in a tremendous amount of pain so i think she is a really strong person to just carry on as normal and still be as helpful and caring as she is. I love my auntie Sharon loads. (:

Uncle Lee Lee – My one and only godfather. He’s a rubbish one! He got 20% on my ‘how well do you know me’ quiz on facebook! :O
I know it’s horrendous don’t you agree?
I’m actually just kidding you; we get on really well and we always have. Even since the days of battle ship and super noodles we have been really close. I love my Uncle Lee Lee loads and loads!
He’s one of the funniest people i know. I used to go to my Grandma’s house for tea every Tuesday and we used to rip her to shreds and take the mick’ out of her. She found the funny side obviously as we were only joking but i would always end up choking because i can’t laugh without coughing and he used to have me in stitches.
He is also my personal maths tutor/homework man/algebra explainerer. :D
He is very, very good at maths and i am a failure at maths; no i finally started to like maths and understand it right at the end of year 11 when i will never have to sit and do maths ever again. At least not Pythagoras’s theorem. “/

I’m going to have to leave it there i’m afraid. This will definatly get continued though as i have yet to talk about Uncle Neil, Auntie Sonia, Christian & Linzi, Samuel and Samantha.
i have done 5 pages and it’s getting late so i shall leave it as it is tonight and continue some other time. Thank you for talking the time to read my blog (:

Take Care, Sophie xoxo

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One ticked off the list :)

Morning everybody : )
Hope everyone is well and happy. Well, the sunshine is being very generous this weekend and it even burned me as i ignorantly put no sun cream on as i type this my arms, shoulder, face, chest and knees (yes i said knees) are excruciatingly red and burning : )
Good Times!! I’ve had a really good half term let me just give you a quick itinery (if that’s the right word) haha.

Monday – BBQ
Tuesday – Clinic appointment and Aimee’s birthday meal
Wednesday – I did nothing this was my chill day
Thursday – i got my belly button pierced : )
Friday – i went for a walk around Waterhead park with my friend’s Becky & Tim and we walked to McDonalds. This is one of the biggest achievements of my life. It was a trek!! In the afternoon i went to Chadderton and spent the afternoon with my best friend Taylor. In the evening we had a BBQ again!
Saturday – I burned in my back yard!! : ( And then we had another BBQ for the sake of having a BBQ : )
Today (Sunday) – I am undecided as to what to do. My options are go out for a walk with people or stay indoors and revise. I know which i’d prefer but i also know which one is more sensible. I reckon i’ll go for a walk and then revise later on. (Probably won’t) I’m just kidding ; )

Like i said, on Tuesday i had a clinic appointment and so i thought i’d share the great news with you all.
My lung functions are at the best they’ve been since July last year : )
FEV – 75% FVC – 99%
I don’t think i’ve ever been so happy in all my life :D
I have grown and now stand at the height of 165.3cm with the weight of 57kg (i think) i weigh 9 stone anyways : )
My mum, my little sister Bethany and my best friend Aimee came this particular day. Aimee is getting really involved in my CF. It’s great to have someone to talk to about it other than mum, dad, family etc. She sees herself as my good luck charm as every time she has come and i’ve done my lung functions; they’ve been at there best : )
We all walked into the consultant room, the huge smile on my face and Dr Panicker said, “Are you the same girl?”
I admit i don’t feel at my best but i’m putting that down to my hayfever to be honest.
Overall, they are very pleased and proud. I’m extremely pleased and proud : )

At the moment my main focus is school, exams, revision, friends and the family. This is the reason as to why my blogs aren’t coming through thick and fast these days. They will get back on track though i promise you : )
So school is very nearly over now and i’m going to be walking out of there and never setting foot back in there again. It’s sad really because everything changes. The people you want to stay in touch with will slowly drift away and although you’ll gain new friends...I’ll miss the ones i already have. I’m going to add this on my aspirations list actually; i’m going to stay in touch with my close friends from school. It’s a shame because we have all had our fall outs and bust ups but at the moment everyone is so close, i don’t want to lose that : )
Well i am working on two blogs at the moment. One is about some of my family members and the other is all about Alethia and Jamie from the ward. Today’s however is going to be referring back to my ‘ten years from now’ aspirations list that i made a few weeks ago. Have a quick glance if you like. : )


“ • I want to still be writing music.
• I want to have seen Beyonce live in concert.
• I want to have gone on a big holiday to Florida with a big group of friends and family. ”

On the 24th of April 2009 at 16:54, i posted a blog titled, “Ten Years From Now”
It was a blog which withhold every dream i hope to have achieved in the next years.
I get to say that i can officially tick one off. The one that i have wanted since the days of Desntiny’s Child : )
I got to see Beyonce in concert at the MEN thanks to my Uncle Neil, Auntie Sharon, My Mum and My Papa. : ) On the 27th of May 2009 !

I’m proud to report that she’s not bad to be honest :D hahaha. She is amazing!!! Me and my Uncle Neil decided that she was okay but defiantly wouldn’t go down well at the charity concert at the Dog And Partridge ; ) We were being sarcastic of course.
I’ve never been to a concert where whilst the singer sang everyone was silent : ‘)
Brought a tear to my eye it did. She sang all the big songs, a few Destiny’s Child songs and danced whilst singing live. I thought she was astounding to be honest : )
A M A Z I N G!!!
I rang my dad for Ave Maria/angel. I don’t think the smile was wiped off my face all night and then obviously i was singing my little heart out as well. : )
One word to describe the concert? WOW!

So that’s one down ... 25 to go :D
I am working on the BIG family holiday so all you family members reading this start saving your holidays up and the pennies of course ; )
I have Nana Flo down for Florida anyway so don’t let me down : )
That’s all for now then : ) Just going to continue writing the family blog and then i think i may do some revising for history : (

Enjoy the sunshine : )
Take Care, Sophie xoxo

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Black Roses

Hello,

I hope everyone is well : )
I am sorry for not writing. Weeks seem to have flown by incredibly fast and things have just been flying right over my head at the moment
Today’s blog might not make sense to everybody but it’s something that i needed to write down to get it out.

I’ve not been well recently and with exams happening right now, i suppose things have gotten to me and attacked me when my guard was down whilst away with the fairies. I have my head screwed on and have my wits about me but when things begin to get too much i tend to put my head in the clouds just to get away from things. This time, i couldn’t find the ground again. I got lost.

I completely lost myself.
I’m a very optimistic person. I always look on the Brightside of life. There is always a smile on my face and i’m the most upbeat and positive person i know. The thing is i’m also the listener, the advice giver and the wall they lean on when they can’t do it on their own. I’m the person that can’t carry all the weight on everyone’s shoulders, but will take some of the heavy load and help to carry it. I don’t mean to do it; it’s just a piece of the puzzle that makes up me. I’m a very empathic person in the sense that if someone is upset i feel sad and upset too. Other people’s emotions rub off easily on me. I avoid people who are in a bad mood because i know they’ll bring me down too. It’s this unavoidable power i have to help people even if it’s just listening to them get things off their chest. I always believe that if they feel better afterwards then i have succeeded. I like being reliable and dependable. Due to me being incredibly empathic, i have everyone’s emotions rolled up into one and slowly but surely they overpower me and i start to stumble.


Feeling empathy towards things is great for a writer. I can really engage in the character and the story this way. Likewise for when i am writing my blogs, so much emotion can be typed onto the laptop. The same goes for when i read; i say this alot but i’m the only person i know who can cry when something bad happens in a story. Who is heartbroken when the true love couple are somehow separated and who is then overjoyed when they are reunited.
I can easily throw myself into a book and not want to return to reality because in stories there’s usually always a happy ending. There’s always light through dark shadows.


Well i’ve been ill the past couple of week and like i said with my head in the clouds i got carried away and i lost myself. The optimism within me vanished and suddenly i became horrendously pessimistic and depressed, just completely miserable; something that has never happened before. Every couple of months for one night only i usually get emotional and allow myself to show emotions other then happiness, joy and affection. Last week was so weird and destructive. I wanted to write how i felt down so that once the horribleness was over i could recap and try and figure out what went wrong and what led me down this spiral to rock bottom.
Something that kept coming up in my head was ‘beautiful disaster’.
These bad emotions were things i’d never felt before, at least not for this period of time. Last year when i should have broke down with the whole health deterioration.
Looking back now, i think how the hell did you manage to smile through that girl?
Where did that sudden strength come from to keep going?
To not give up?
To not cry at every possible opportunity?
This may sound weird but i am learning more and more about me as time goes on. I found that i’m stronger then i thought, that i’m more mature then i thought, that i have my head screwed on even if i do have my head in the clouds most of the time. However, i learnt that i don’t show my emotions atall.
Ask anyone who knows me about my personality they will more than likely say, “she’s happy, upbeat, optimistic, quiet type”
That’s only half true, they forget to mention that i have my downer days every couple of month. They fail to mention that i’m not invincibly happy and that some things do bring me down.
They forget to mention that the smile i have on my face hides lies sometimes. Not all the time; i admit. However, sometimes ... those things that lay heavy on my mind overpower me and my happiness, reaches rock bottom. It’s pretty much this spiralling never ending beautiful disaster.
It’s a disaster because i walk around like a zombie with my headphones in listening to music.
Coughing, every now and again. Saying, “pardon?” when i haven’t heard what you’ve said due to the fact i’m too engulfed in the music or my own little thoughts.
Yet it’s beautiful because i really get to engage in these feelings and usually a song is written, a blog is planned or something along those lines.

I write alot when i’m down, gets things of my chest. I’m not the best person to express when i feel horrendous. I like to keep those feelings to myself because i always feel as though i am a burden for laying my troubles on everyone.
You’re pretty special if you can tell when i’m on a downer. My mum can tell. My dad can tell. My friend Aimee can tell and that’s just about it really.
Someone asked me if i was okay once, looked me right in the eyes and asked if i was okay.
I replied with a smile on my face, looking him right in the eyes and said, “Yeah i’m fine”
His reply, looking curious was, “I can’t tell with you; you hide your feelings well. I can’t suss you out”
I looked away and said, “Ha! I’m an expert at fake smiles.”
He looked abit gutted but never mind really. I’m a huge puzzle and i might look simple and easy to work out but i take alot more logic.

The thing is, i go through alot like most of you know and so i learn to deal with alot; i don’t cry when my nail breaks ... to be honest i don’t care 
I don’t care what i eat, i don’t watch my weight atall.
You won’t find me suicidal if things don’t work out between me and a lad. Of course i’ll be gutted and maybe devastated but i made a few rules for myself and number one is that i only cry once if atall.

My Rules.
- Only cry once
- Keep the block in your head up.
- Let your heart rule your head until it’s time to be serious.

There are many more. But those three are the top three. : )

So when i’m on a downer, it usually means my heart has ruled my head when it was time to be serious my block/guard went down which concludes with me crying more than once.
One day whilst on a downer i was sat talking to my friend when she said, “you don’t seem yourself what’s up?”
Really randomly i replied, “Black roses.”
Ever since then, black roses has been my code phrase for, “feeling really low at the moment.”
Purple roses mean, “Emotional” and pink roses are me and my friends favourite. It means i am great and happy.

Like i said though, you have to be pretty amazing to recognise when i’m feeling poopy.
I’m not easy to work out. I’m more complicated then i seem you see. : )
It’s a good puzzle to try and figure out. You should try it sometime when you have some free time : )
Today i feel a mixture of purple roses and black roses. Hopefully, those pink roses will be just around the corner because when i feel like this, i feel like i’ve lost control of myself and like i have lost that independence. I start to rely on my important people way too much when those black roses have bloomed and taken over my head.
Thank you for reading.
Take Care, Sophie xoxo

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Butterfly fly away ... just don't go

Hello everyone,
I’m Back : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
And i’m back on my IV’s after what i thought was heyfever turned out to be a cold : (
Well anyway, like i said i’m on my IV’s now so hopefully this chesty cough will get the heck out of my lungs because i don’t like it very much really. So before i continue with today’s blog i just wanted to let you know about some of the blogs i have lined up:
- Family Memories
- Family
- Jamie & Alethia
- Black Roses


Do you have someone who can make you cry with just one look?
Someone who can make you smile just by looking at them?
Someone who you fear, admire, adore, love and argue with, all in one?
One more question ... is that person your dad?
So i suppose you’ve gathered today’s blog is all about my dad, the one who created me, and the one who has moulded me into who I am today.

My dad has this invisible power over me.
I do everything the man says, everything he wants me to do ... most of the time.
If my dad says jump ... i’d reply, “How high?”
If my dad says run ... i’d say, “How far?”
I think he know’s he has this hold on me; or at least he did know.
He know’s how to get to me; or at least he did know.
My dad would make me cry with ease if i did something wrong; or at least he could.
That grip, that manipulative dominant power has started to disintegrate.
The independence in me is breaking free from the childhood, i have a mind of my own, i have opinions of my own, i have ways of my own.
That little girl is slowly maturing into a young woman. That fear i once had of him is still sturdy i admit but it’s slowly warring away.
That admiration is getting more solid, i understand everything he has ever done for me and i understand why he chose to go down that road.
That love for him is greater and it gets greater every second, of every minute, of every day; as i become aware of just how significant every decision he made has been on me. The love for my dad is stronger than any other bond i know. I don’t know any other 15 year old girl that is closer to their father than me. Something i am so utterly proud of.
That argumentative streak that i gained from my dad is budding and eager to disagree with what i don’t accept.

The arguments me and my dad have are becoming more matured, the things i have to say are well established, stable points.
One thing me and my dad argue constantly over is education.
In my opinion, i WANT to go to school, college and even uni because i know i won’t achieve much without qualifications etc. I want to be a writer but without knowing every skill in the trade i won’t ever be able to improve. I want to be a psychologist but without those grades and certificates declaring that i am a qualified psychotherapist, i won’t get anywhere.
It’s not just the fact that the world we live in now is much more precise and politically correct but also its a social thing. I was never allowed to go out with friends when i was in secondary school and i understand why because the streets aren’t safe and if i am honest the cold, doesn’t appeal to me atall. So school was my time for friends my chance to catch up on gossip and to basically have the support and back up of my friends. Finally, i actually enjoy learning new things, it intrigues me and totally fascinates me.

My dad’s views are that school is a waste of time and that he got where he is today without good grades, college or uni. However, like i said previously, nowadays you HAVE to have qualifications to get the good jobs. He also says that i can stay at home and that i don’t have to go to work. This would be wonderful but i’m not living a ‘normal’ life. The life i long to have so badly. I am supposed to be living my life not sitting on my bottom at home spending mummy and daddy’s money. That’s not where i see myself ten years down the line.
Thirdly, he wants me to live my life but to the FULL, he doesn’t want me to have to work all my life, to go to school all my life. He’d rather me travel the world. I agree this sounds amazing and so unbelievably tempting but i have said this before, i want that ‘normal’ life.

I may possibly have left out some of my dad’s points i apologise if i have; the ones shown are all i can think of. A girl at school once asked, “Why do you want to go to college because you have CF and that means you have a life expectancy right? So, why do you want to spend all your time at school when you’re gonna die early?”
My answer to that was simple so with a smile on my face i replied, “When exactly am i going to die?”
She said, “I don’t know”
I then said, “Does that not answer your question? Nobody knows when they’re going to die. I might not die of CF, i might get run over by a bus tomorrow, you may suddenly stop breathing or maybe that woman down the road might get diagnosed with Cancer. But that doesn’t give her a death sentence, it gives her a battle, one she might win or unfortunately lose. The thing is, that woman won’t just give up and stop doing anything. You won’t stop going out after school in case you stop breathing and i won’t wrap myself in a bubble in fear of dyeing by a bus or CF. Because you never know so i’m gonna go to school and then college and hopefully university and then possibly get the career of my dreams. Or maybe i’ll have to drop out of uni or college because my health needed more attention; the main thing is i’m gonna try and keep going. Keep fighting.”
She just nodded, i think i maybe went a little over board with my explanation, but either way i got my point across because she never said anything against it and she is constantly asking what i am planning for the future.
Although my dad makes excellent, tempting points ... it’s just not what i want.
So many disagreements have been caused through education that sometimes i think, “why don’t you just give up?” And then i remember that Wheeler’s don’t quit because a true Wheeler is pretty stubborn really.

Another trait i get from my dad ... stubbornness. Some people hate it but i love it; i’m only stubborn when i think i have a right to be otherwise i wouldn’t waste my time. Jelousy is another huge thing my dad passed onto me however, along with that comes devotion and pride.
Another party trick my dad shared with me is singing.
If you know me you’ll know my dad, Graham Wheeler is an amazing singer as i have mentioned in a previous post. He has turned Simon Cowell down and had to walk away from Bootcamp (X-Factor) last year because i was having my operation. My dad sings as a solo artist (Graham Wheeler), a duo (WKD), a trio (Wild ‘n’ Wicked) and was also in a live band (Stiflers Mom).
He really is an amazing singer and i idolise him for that.

A little song for my dad:

“You're my little chu-chi face
My coo-chi, coo-chi, woo-chi little chu-chi face
Every time I look at you I sigh
And you're my little teddy bear
My lovey lovey dovey little teddy bear
You're the apple strudel of my eye
Your chu-chi woo-chi nose
Your chu-chi woo-chi eyes
They set my heart a flutter
Your ooo-chi coo-chi ways
Your ooo-chi coo-chi gaze
Wilts me down like melting butter
You're my little chu-chi face
And you're my teddy bear
Together we're a chu-chi woo-chi, ooo-chi coo-chi pair
You're my little chu-chi face
And you're my teddy bear”

The song ‘Chu-Chi Face’ from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang has been mine and my dad’s song for as long as i can remember. So me and my dad are special ; ) ... I don’t care haha!
When i was little my dad used to sing this song to me when i was trying to get to sleep whilst he stroked my arm. As i got older, obviously the habit faded. However, i still like to sing this song and remind myself of how things were : )
It makes me feel like a care free child again and i love it.

My dad asked a while ago if he was going to get a blog dedicated to him and all about him and my answer was, “We’ll see.”
What he doesn’t know is that i have been writing this blog for a very long time, writing things one day and then deleting other things the next. Let’s just say it’d been edited a few times, but i am finally just going to write how i feel. He requested that it make him cry; he might have been joking but i took it seriously so here it is ... this is the blog ... but it isn’t finished.
I wanted to complete it with a little letter especially for my daddy : )



Hello my beautiful,
How has work been today? Not too bad i hope.
Well i want to start off by thanking you for how hard you work. Whether it’s 5am-6pm Monday to Friday or singing your heart out at the weekend you never fail to give me, Beth, you and mum the life of our dreams.
You and mum allow me and Beth to have everything we want and yes we are spoiled but we are so grateful for everything. We appreciate all the hours you work, all the travelling you do etc. So thank you.

Next i wanted to say that your little girl is slowly growing up now, she is becoming a young women and you keep telling me that your ‘losing your girl’ and yes you are dad BUT and that’s a huge BUT; i still love you. In fact i love you more because i am capable to understand everything you’ve ever done for me. Like i have said before, your little girl is growing up and she isn’t going to come back but i still need my dad. I know you probably feel like you need to keep me wrapped in a bubble but it’s time i make my own decisions instead of having them made for me and it’s time that this caterpillar spreads her wings and becomes a butterfly.
Auntie Sandra says i’m like a flower that’s beginning to open up and reveal its true colour and beauty.
All i ask of you now dad, is to let me. I’m not completely ready to grow up though. I’m only 15
: )

I Love You Dad All The World And Back Again ... Lots Of Times!
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

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Sorry : (

Hello!!
I can’t believe it has been four whole days with no blog. That’s horrendous. I haven’t been able to sit down and really get into writing anything.
Here i am; i’ve just walked in from school and yes it has been a very, very, very long day today.

Firstly, i would like to say a huge thank you and congratulations to Mr David Johnson (Jonny) if you read a previous post you’ll know that Jonny was going to run the London Marathon this year for the CF Trust.
I’m proud to say he did run the marathon and he finished it too. He finished around 5 hours after starting. I think he is pretty amazing. : ) Again thank you Jonny <3



I can’t write more than this today .. i have loads of revision and homework to do. I’m really sorry that i can’t write anymore, i miss my blogs : (
I have loads of ideas though so pretty soon you’ll have lots to read.

Take Care, Sophie xoxo

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Ten Years From Now

Helllloooo,

I haven’t wrote a blog for a few days. I knew this was going to happen once i got back to school, with GCSE’s coming up i’m pretty busy.
I have had the day off today and i got thinking about school, college, university, basically the future.
Therefore today’s blog is going to be on my aspirations.

It’s weird to know that i have only a couple months left in school and then i’ll no longer be a school kid. The weirdest part will be, not seeing everyone every day. My best friends, the group of lads that hang around with us. The people i have known since nursery. I’ve spent most of my life with the majority of those people.
That’s all coming to an end and i more than likely will hardly ever see them anymore.
It’s kind of sad really. : (

I’m way too excited to be leaving Counthill though, to be moving on to the next chapter of my life and meeting new people, experiencing new things and learning new things. I intend on going to Oldham Sixth Form to study Psychology, Sociology and English Language.
I really want to take English Literature but don’t want to have to drop either of the other two.
Like i said thought once i have finished my two years at college i want to go to university and continue into further education.

If you asked me four years ago what i wanted to do when i was older, i would have replied, “i want to be an author”
If you asked me three years ago what i wanted to do when i was older, i would have said, “i want to be a interial designer”
If you asked me two years ago what i wanted to do when i was older, i would have replied, “i want to be a journalist”
If you asked me last year what i want to do when i get older, i’d have said, “i want to be a child psychologist.”
That idea stuck with me for a long time. I thought it was the perfect job for my character. I enjoy helping people; i have a keen interest in the human mind and behaviour and i am a listener.
The thing is, if you asked me now what i want to be when i leave college, i’d simply reply, “i love to write, i want to be an author of some kind.”
It’s a hard business to get into but i’m going to try my hardest and hopefully my determination will keep me going.
Psychology still attracts me somehow, it’s something i believe i will be quite good at. It’s something that i hope will keep me interested.
So until i know for sure what i want to do, i am going to keep my options open with regards to university. I mean i don’t know which one to go to nor do i know what courses to do there.
There is quite some time yet for me to make my decision.

Cystic Fibrosis is a disease that doesn’t get better it gradually gets worse. This is something i am thinking about more.
I know that i am nowhere near as bad as some people with CF, my lung functions are on the up and at the minute i’m not doing too bad. The thing is though, who know what it might be like two years from now. Swing and roundabouts right? Good times and bad times?
My dreams and aspirations are what thrive me to keep myself well. It’s what keeps nagging at me to go in the gym or do some form of exercise. It’s what yanks me to do my physio and take all my medicines. My CF might be unpredictable but i won’t let it walk all over me and i certainly won’t back down and let it prevent me from achieving what i hope to do.


I was talking to a girl i have known since nursery; we have been best friends for so long. We got discussing about the future and we decided to set ourselves goals, we then decided to write them down and swap them. Therefore, on our 25th birthday we would give each other our lists and see if we managed to stick on track for our goals.
I decided to share mine with you:

• I want to have got good grades at college and uni.
• I want to be doing something i love and enjoying my job
• I want to be in good health (hopefully)
• I hope to have made it in the writing industry.
• If i’m not a writer i want to be a child psychologist.
• I want to have my own house.
• I want to be in a good relationship or even possibly married.
• I don’t want kids just yet.
• I want to be extremely happy
• I want to have been to New York, LA or Australia
• I want to have a car named Betty : )
• I want to still be writing my blogs
• I want to have a dog
• I want to be able to bake a yummy cake
• I want to be able to make my grandma’s chicken soup and my mum’s sheppard’s pie.
• I want to own a piano
• I want to be good at playing the piano
• I want to have learnt Italian ... i love that language for some unknown reason
• I want to still be writing music.
• I want to have seen Beyonce live in concert.
• I want to have gone on a big holiday to Florida with a big group of friends and family.
• I want to have gone on a cruise.
• I want to still be in touch with at least more or less all of my school friends or at the very least know what everyone has achieved.
• I want to be as close to my mum and dad as i am now.
• I want to still be going to my nana wheeler’s flat on a Saturday : )

I think that list will do for now, maybe i’ll add a few more as time goes by.
Maybe i’ll be able to cross a few off before i’m 25.
Even if all of them aren’t crossed off by the time i’m 25 ... i want to have eventually crossed them all off.

Take Care, Sophie xoxo

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Beautiful Flaws

We all have flaws don’t we?
Those things that aren’t impressive, perfect or good.
Our imperfections are beautiful sometimes. Don’t you think?
Someone said to me today, “Why are you so perfect?”

Perfect ... can you define perfection?
The thing is i’m not perfect i’m far from it actually.
I have imperfections, i have things i should work on, but i won’t work on them.
Why? Because that’s what makes me ... me.

What are your flaws?
Mine are:

• I’m a very jealous person.
• I do like to look nice; i’m not someone that says i don’t care how i look because i do.
• I look at myself and always see room for improvement.
• I am extremely argumentative.
• I am a stubborn person when i believe i am doing the right thing; i won’t back down.
• I like to please people and make people proud.
• It does matter to me what people think of me.
• I do listen to music constantly.
• I can’t listen to music without singing along.
• I read all the time and get so wrapped up in the story i seem ignorant.
• I fall in love with fictional characters.
• I’m not the world’s best drummer.
• I’m not a great singer.
• I try my hardest all the time and sometimes maybe too hard.
• I trust people too easily.
• I’m an extremely positive person but when i am low, i get really down in the dumps.
• I don’t express how i feel that much...vocally i mean; i’m not a problem sharer because i feel like a burden.
• When i really want something i have no patience.
• I’m the quite kid, who keeps her head down in class and hardly makes a sound.
• When i am nervous, i fidget.
• I have a habit of biting the inside of my cheek.
• I’m rather emotional.
• I have an addiction to sweeties.
• I hate the clubbing of my nails.
• I hate my teeth.
• I dislike the sound of my voice.
• I’m pretty blind to be honest :D
• I’m not an outdoors person.
• I do everything i can to help people and i never learn that some people just can’t be helped.
• I hate taking pictures.
• I am ALWAYS Freezing cold.
• I get colds very easily.
• I can get lost in films and not want to find my way back home.
• I often have my head in the clouds.
• I’m quite a messy person
• I go through alot of fazes.
• When i like something ... i adore it (Twilight obsession at the minute)
• I doubt myself all the time, suppose that’s called low self-esteem.
• I’m an extremely pale person...true English rose.
• I get very sarcastic when i am nervous or angry or upset.
• I’m not a very confident person.
• I suppress my feelings and don’t show emotion that much. I just smile all the time whether i’m happy or not.
• I’m good at keeping my temper but when i lose it i become a horrible person.

So there you have it, i’m not perfect, i’m not beautiful, i’m not talented and i’m not a girly girl.
I have flaws, we all do; but they can be so beautiful.
We all have something we are great at, something we are amazing at.
So don’t give up if you can’t play the piano first time round, don’t try to make yourself look any different because that’s how you’re supposed to be.

We all doubt ourselves; even the vainest of people have secret self confidence issues.
Even the most amazingly talented artists in the world doubt themselves.
We never see beauty within ourselves ... but other people do.

Take Care, Sophie x x x

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London Marathon.

Evening everyone,

Today’s blog is late but it’s been gorgeous outside so i’ve not moved from there : )
I have been quite chesty today but otherwise okay.
I’ve been on my drums today and have been reading a new book courtesy of my Uncle Neil, Auntie Sharon, Ella and JoJo. Thankyou!
It’s called The Golden Compass written by Phillip Pullman; i’ve just started reading it and i can’t get my head around it just yet. I’m keeping to it though because according to my Uncle Neil it’s a great book that makes you think about the world we live in. I’ve been a very large bookworm today and have read all day. Then i sat down at my laptop because i had an idea for the story i’m writing and of course i needed to get it down quick so i have written quite alot today too.

Well today’s blog is about a young man named David Johnson
He is a very good friend of the family and he is running the London Marathon on the 26th of April 2009 (this Sunday).
He has decided to run for the CF Trust and therefore, today’s blog is a plug for all you generous lovely people out there to dig deep into your pockets and help him reach his ultimate goal of a thousand pound.

How do i give money??
It’s simple. Jonny has his own website, here you can donate as much money as you want.
http://www.justgiving.com/davidjohnson6
Please visit and sponser him; your support will mean the world : )

The Cystic Fibrosis Trust relies on the support of the CF community and the public to continue its work in research, campaigning, support and care for those with Cystic Fibrosis. They need your help ... by giving a little of your time or money, you can make a huge difference.
Since the founding of the CF Trust in 1964, we have been working to improve the lives of people with CF, raise the profile of CF and fund research into a cure.
Our objectives are to:

• Fund medical and scientific research to develop a cure and provide effective treatments for Cystic Fibrosis.
• Ensure appropriate clinical care for those with Cystic Fibrosis.
• Provide information, advice, support and, where appropriate, financial assistance to anyone affected by Cystic Fibrosis

The Cystic Fibrosis Trust is the UK's only national charity dedicated to all aspects of Cystic Fibrosis. The CF Trust invests in medical research to treat the symptoms of CF and to find an effective treatment by correcting the basic genetic defect. The CF Trust also provides information, advice and support to families affected by Cystic Fibrosis and aims to ensure that people with CF receive appropriate healthcare.

All clinical and research projects are scrutinised by an international panel of leading doctors and scientists. This ensures the CF Trust invests in research that will have imminent and/or important clinical benefit to those with Cystic Fibrosis.



I’d quickly just like to take the time to thank Jonny for choosing Cystic Fibrosis as his dedicated charity.
It means so much to know that he is putting all this effort into helping every person in the UK fight against CF. To help us find a cure. Jonny you’re amazing. Thankyou!

I’ll be there cheering you on every step of the way.
26/04/09 - London Marathon.
Thankyou .... http://www.justgiving.com/davidjohnson6

Take Care, Sophie. xoxo

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Grandad Wilfred Brown.

Sophie Jayne Wheeler. 09/07/93
Grandad’s first grandchild was brought into the world.

For as long as i can remember i have always been a Grandad’s girl.
He was my Grandad end of.
For 5 years, MY Grandad and i were like two peas in a pod. I’d happily sit and watch Stone Cold Steve Austin on the wrestling (he was my grandma’s favourite.), or i’d watch Simpsons with him on his chair. I’d sit on his knee. : )
For 5 years he was MY Grandad and then...........

My Sister Was Born!!!!
Bethany Paige Wheeler. 26/08/98
He was no longer My Grandad; he was now OUR Grandad.
The green eyed monster kicked in big time, it was too much to handle for a little 5 year old torettes kid : )
(i had tourettes when i was younger ... okay i didn’t but you’d have thought so the number of times i’d have outbursts of swearing; who’s fault i hear you cry??? ... DADDY!!!)
Anyway, back to OUR Grandad Wilf.
Well, my sister was born and obviously she was getting all the attention, i can’t remember clearly but i distinctly recall highly disliking my sister for a long time.

Me and my Grandad used to have this thing, i was his ‘number one’ : )
First grandchild. First place in his heart. Sophie was Grandad’s number one!
Once the whole baby hysteria died down, i began horse riding and my number one fan was Mr Wilfred Grandad Brown.
Every horse show, Grandad was there bright and early, fresh as a daisy, on a Sunday morning. Packed lunch in hand, big parker coat on and his boots; ready to brave the bitterly cold Sunday Mornings on Saddleworth Pony Club’s fields (Platting Road).
He knew how to dress my Grandad ; ) He was a rugby player i’ll have you know : )
So off we would all go and my Grandad would stand at the side lines clapping his heart out once i had completed my piece in Equitation. This wasn’t my favourite atall. Infact, i would go as far as to say, i hated it.
MY forte was Show Jumping. I adored Show Jumping. The adrenaline, the cheers, the speed and the power. I loved it!
Once again, my Grandad would clap his heart out as i would come trotting out with 1st place rosette in my hand.
Then i would have a picture that would then be framed and set up in my Grandad’s gallery of me.

My Grandad’s gallery is on the back wall of his chair.
It consists of framed pictures of yours truly .... Me ! : )
To be honest, i think it was my idea when i was younger ... i’m not too sure. Anyway, this is no longer there anymore. Much to my disgrace ... why?? Do i hear you cry??

A few more years down the line grandchild number 3 was born.
Madison Marie Brown. 08/09/03
I love this little girl with all my heart but at the time of her birth i was still young and i had just gained MY Grandad back; Jealousy kicked in.

The return of the Green Eyed Monster.
I remember going seeing Madison after she was born in hospital with my Grandma and Grandad .
My Grandad and i went to get a drink. As we were walking back down the corridor we had a little heart to heart:

Sophie: “Grandad can i ask you something?”
Grandad: “Course you can sweetheart”
Sophie: “Even though we have Beth and Madison ... am i still you number one?”
Grandad: “Yes, you will always be my number one.”
Sophie smiles from ear to ear and we walk back into the cubicle.

That conversation won’t ever be forgotten by me. Ever!


Like last time, the green eyed monster went back to its cave.
I think every little girl goes through the faze of wanting to be a hairdresser right?
Some girls stick to it and achieve their goals; others try it out on the Grandad’s first!
You heard me correct my Grandad Wilf would happily allow me to sit putting his hair into bobbled, (attempting to) plait it, (attempting to) braid it, brush it, put hair clips/slides/grips in it etc.
When i had created my masterpiece on his hair ... i would run into the dining room get the mirror and show my Grandad how beautiful his hair looked thanks to me!
I am telling you right now and you can all quote me on this but i defiantly missed my calling with that one because my Grandad used to absolutely think it was wonderful.
The conversation:

I’d run to get the mirror
Sophie: “Don’t take it out Grandad, i’m getting the mirror. Keep still, i’ll be back in a minute”
Grandad: “Okay”
Sophie: (holding the mirror up in front of him) “Ta-Dah!”
Grandad: “Oooh Very nice.”
Sophie: (in a disgusted voice) “Did you take one of those bobbles out? The one with the pink flower on?”
Grandad: “It fell out.”
Sophie: “Oh for goodness of a sake Grandad, i told you to keep still. Now i will have to start again.”

So all the bobbles would come out, all the grips would come out, the hair clips and the brush would rip the hairspray out. Then whilst Grandad continued to watch his war film ... i would sit doing his hair again. He would willingly sit there and never once moaned. He was perfect.

As i got older, we didn’t go down to Grandma’s and Grandad’s much but when we were having work done on the house because if the dust and things, we moved in to their house with them for a couple of weeks. On Saturday night me and Grandad would go down to Sharpsies (Waterhead Con Club) and play bingo! Woo-Hoo!
He would buy me a packet of bacon fries and a can of diet coke and i would sit and play bingo with everyone there. : ) Good Times! Good Times!

Another great memory of my Grandad and i is all the times we have sat in the car talking about absolutely random and utterly pointless things on the way to Boothall for port-flushes. We would sit there and put the world to rights me and my Grandad on the way to Boothall. It’s because we are cool!

I’d like to take the time to sing a beautiful song for all you horrendous Leeds fan’s out there; sing along if you like ... are you ready?
“OOOH WHEN THE SAINTS
GO MARCHING IN
OH WHEN THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN!!
OH HOW I WANT TO BE IN THAT NUMBER
WHEN THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN!!!!!”

Breathtaking i know ; )
I’d like to dedicate that to, Christian Wheeler, Eddie Aspin and of course MY GRANDAD.
My Grandad supported Leeds Rhino’s Rugby League Club ... however, after Saint Helens Battered them on numerous occasions, he decided to support Oldham Roughyheads. It’s atrocious but he refuses to support the saints! :D
Every game between Leeds and Saints we would spend the whole game on the phone to each other arguing over who played the best and rubbing it in when our team scored a try : )
I’ll miss those phonecalls now you’ve gone to supporting Roughyheads Grandad !
You really have blown your chances of getting to rub my nose in it whenever your team beats saints haven’t you. Haha!

Finally, one of my favourite Grandad and Sophie moments.
Friday afternoons : )
My Grandad is a bin man supply person. I don’t actually know his professional role. All i know is that he has the most important job out of it all. He works the hardest and without him, the bin men would be in complete ciaos. How do i know this? My Grandad told me : )
Anyway back to Friday afternoons. Well my Grandad get’s these afternoons off work so he picks me and Beth up from school. We then have tea.
What’s on the menu??
Fish, Chips and Peas!!! Wooo!
Every Friday afternoon without fail i have fish, chips and peas for tea at Grandad’s.

Overall, my Grandad is and always will be MY Grandad.
I love his laid back attitude to life and his chuckle is bloomin’ great : )
My Grandad Wheeler died before i was born so my Grandad Wilf is all i’ve got.
I really do worship my Grandad.
I Love You!!
x x x x x x x x x x


Take Care, Sophie xoxo

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Sixty Five Roses

Today i am going to go into alot more detail about the life threatening disease that is Cystic Fibrosis.

You have more than likely noticed the words written as the title say Sixty Five Roses. The reason being is that this has become a nickname i suppose you’d say for Cystic Fibrosis.
Children who can’t pronounce Cystic Fibrosis sometimes call it by a much sweeter name, "65 Roses." This disease is anything but sweet.

Cystic Fibrosis.
It is a hereditary disease affecting the lungs, sweat glands, and digestive system. People who have cystic fibrosis have to take medications to help breath and digestive enzymes to aid in digestion. When a child is born and it is suspect that they have cystic fibrosis, they do what is called a sweat test on the baby. If it comes back positive, some other tests are conducted to confirm it.

Some of the symptoms of cystic fibrosis are the following (this is in no way a complete list):
Thick mucus affects mainly the lungs which make it rather difficult to breathe.
In people with CF, water and salt can’t move through the tiny cells easily which makes it dry. The body then produces thick, mucus. The thick mucus then invites many different bacteria’s to make a home in the lungs; causing further inflammation and mucus.
Some of the technical names are staphylococcus, pseudomonas and cepacia. CF patients are then put on a strict regime of antibiotics, vitamins, inflammatory medication, other meds, insulin (possibly), exercise, high-calorie diets, physio, nebulised meds, Intravenous antibiotics etc.
This is then followed up by regular clinic appointments with the full CF team. This includes; consultant, CF nurse, dietician, physio and the odd medical student.

Growth issues.
Most of the time CF people will not grow to be very tall and due to digestive and pancreatic issues, they are usually underweight. Therefore, CF patients are put on a high-calorie diet. However, when even that does nothing extra precautions are issued such as high calorie food supplements. When worst comes to the worst, people with CF are put on overnight feeds.

Clubbing of the fingers and toes.
Clubbing is a thickening of the flesh under the toenails and fingernails. The nail curves downward, similar to the shape of the round part of an upside-down spoon. This happens over years of low oxygen supply to the body. It is commonly found in sufferers of CF and people who have lung or and heart problems.

Treatments Include:

CPT or Chest Physical Therapy (physio).
This can be done in a variety of different ways. There is percussion; which is where another person pats the chest area with a hand that is cupped shape.
PEP Mask; which is a hand held device that measures positive expiratory pressure. You breath into the facemask and as you breathe out a resistance is made therefore, making coughing secretions easier.
Flutter and Acopella; both devices create vibrations as you breathe into them; this then shakes the airways loosening the mucus.

Antibiotics: There are numerous amounts of oral medication that have to be taken. Other methods of administering antibiotics are either nebulised or intravenous.

Lung Transplant: To get on a lung transplant list, the CF patient has to be very ill, but well enough to be able to take on new organs.


Cystic Fibrosis is the disease that just keeps giving here are a few other medical complications some CF patients receive:
*Liver disease
*Diabetes
*Arthritis
*Sinitus
*Nasal Polyps
*Lung collapse (pneumothorax)
*Dehydration
*Circulatory failure
*People with Cystic Fibrosis are often unable to have children.

Men and women with cystic fibrosis are often unable to have children because of abnormalities in their reproductive systems. Cystic fibrosis also causes a defect in the vas deferens causing sterility in approximately 98% of males with the disease.

The life expectancy of cystic fibrosis patients has been increasing over the past 40 years. In the 1980s life expectancy of people with cystic fibrosis was 14 years.
10 years back, the life expectancy of a person with cystic fibrosis was around 18 years. Today it is 35 years. The median life expectancy of a newborn with cystic fibrosis has increased from 4 years to 32 years. It has been estimated that there has been more than 10 year increase in the average life expectancy of affected people in North America. Over 90% of the affected infants now survive beyond one year. Studies show that life expectancy of children will exceed 40 years. Life expectancy of individuals with adequate pancreatic function can be more than 50 years.
Although i say that there are the unfortunate few that stop having to fight. They lose the battle with CF and are able to breathe easy watching over their loved ones.
Cystic Fibrosis is unpredictable disease. You never know where it is going to take you.

One thing is for sure, CF is both a curse for the obvious; but it is a hidden blessing.
Once you find that blessing, no matter what life throws at you ... nothing ever knocks you down. You never hit rock bottom.
The hidden blessing is being able to appreciate and fully embrace life and everything/everybody in it.
That is truly an amazing gift.
CF sufferers are some of the strongest people i know.
However, i always remember that there are people suffering worse then me. This keeps me smiling to know i am lucky in the sense that ... my life is great!

Take Care, Sophie xoxo

P.S .... more blogs:
• Grandad Wilf
• Analyzing
• Appreciation
• Jamie.

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Music is what feelings sound like.

So yesterday, i wrote about my love for writing. It has to be said that is my greatest love. However, i have an infatuation with music too.

Without music i wouldn’t be able to write like i explained in my previous blog. Music to me is the literature of the heart. It continues when speech ends, when talking stops.
Lyrics of a song create a story that gets played to you in your mind. The composition of a song sticks in your ears, sticks in your head making it an impossibility to remove.
We have all been there humming that song that has clung onto us since the first time we heard it.
It’s capable of taking us to the past, helping us through the present or guiding us into the future.
Music has the ability to trigger our memory, we all relate to it somehow.


Some of my favourite artists are:

• Muse
• Paramore
• Celine Dion
• Beyonce
• Alanis Morisette
• Billy Joel
• Pink
• Elton John
I think i best stop because i could go on and on and on : |

Some of my favourite songs are:

• Suddenly – Billy Ocean
• Supermassive Black Hole – Muse
• Uninvited – Alanis Morissette
• Fly – Celine Dion
• The reason - Hoobastank
• I’m Yours – The Script
• Lullaby – Billy Joel
• Decode – Paramore
• Family Portrait – Pink
• I’mYours – Jason Mraz
Again, i could continue till i am blue in the face. : )

Life is one grand, sweet song, so start the music. – Ronald Reagan

If you asked me who my idols where like i said before i would say my family of course. However, when it comes to music i emphasise on some people. My cousin Christian Wheeler (you got a mention) and my Dad.
I don’t know whether you’ve ever heard my dad or not but if i do say so myself i believe he is the best male singer i’ve heard. I’m not just saying that because he is my dad; it’s more judgemental then that.
Trust me, i am probably his worst critic if he hits a wrong note, sings the wrong lyrics or messes up in any other way he knows i’ll gladly mention that to him. I think this is through jealousy but it’s also a little bit of me getting my own back i suppose ... childishly. That story is for another day though.
Anyway like i said, when my dad messes up when he is singing which is very rare ; )
I am the one he looks at and wither smiles or winks or amazingly shows me some kind of sign language (the V sign). Haha! Everyone makes mistakes right? :D
Speaking truthfully now, he honestly does have an utterly amazing voice. His vocal range is tremendous for a man and his ability is truly breathtaking.
My favourite song that he sings is Suddenly by Billy Ocean; it makes me cry every time.
He sang this at his X-Factor audition (my choice obviously), he got through to bootcamp but then had to come home because i was due to have my op.
I felt horrible because i told him to stay but i know my dad would never have done that.
Previously he went to X-Factor a different year and was asked to separate from the group he had entered it in and go solo. He turned Mr Cowell down though and walked away with his group.
I know he will make it though, he has to because his voice is unbelievable and i am probably doubling his ego hear but to tell you the truth he is an amazing singer.
I’ll shut up about my dad for now. Mr Graham Wheeler.

Another one of my all time favourite solo artists is Celine Dion, i truely think this woman needs no explanation as to why i am completly in awe of her. I think she is atounding. Her incredible vocal range is astounding as for the beautiful presentation of her song they are mind-blowing.
I would recommend you listen to a song called Fly. It’s a song she wrote about her neice who sadly passed away from CF, she wrote it for her and sang it at her funeral. I found that pretty remarkable.


I sing every now and again, my confidence needs to improve alot more and so does my stage presence, my breathing technique ... i could go on : /
What i am trying to say is that although i adore singing, it’s not my passion. Writing is my true ‘love’
That being said, i couldn’t live without music and i sing everyday. I think the worst thing for a singer is when they have a cold, cough, sore throat etc because they can’t sing. The temptation is astronomical though.
Surprisingly, my Cystic Fibrosis doesn’t have any affect with my singing, unless i am productive.
As i am getting older, this will more than likely change. Whilst i have a tickly cough however, it has no implications and to be honest, my cough subsides when i sing. Recently, i’ve had a chest infection and i couldn’t sing due to coughing sputum up constantly.
My singing voice was back at a charity do on Easter Sunday. I could tell i hadn’t done it for a while as my voice dried up quickly :D

I am also very interested on the writing part of it too.
I’ve never been taught to play an instrument or read music but i can play piano by ear and i have played the drums for around a year now.
I love the piano, it’s my favourite instrument ... i think it’s beautiful and i can listen to piano compositions all day without speaking a word to anyone.
It moves me, it really does. Have you never noticed how beautiful the piano’s music is?
My other favourite instrument is the drums. I love an amazing drum beat in a song.
I have written songs before when i was around the age of 11 but they were petty and childish.
Since then i have only ever written one song. My dad wrote some lyrics to the beat i had made together with a piano composition and then i wrote some different lyrics too.
My dad’s lyrics are like reading a story. Mine, on the other hand, paint a picture but don’t actually tell you a story; that’s where you have to relate to it. You create your own story behind the lyrics.
That’s another thing; my dad is outstanding at, making his own lyrics up.
He can sit there and just make a full song up within the space of a few hours. Graham Wheeler ... the lyricist.

My final paragragh will be about one of the reasons as to why i love music.
Lyrics.
I choose my favourite songs from the lyrics. I don’t have a certain genre i prefer i just have songs that i prefer.
My musical interest changes all the time.
I can listen to everything and anything. Although i am not a big fan of rap or dance.
If you took a look through my favourite’s playlist on my i-pod you’d see a mixed bag of artists.
Elton John
Iron & Wine
Fish
Robbie Williams
Bon Jovi
Lady Gaga
Celine Dion
Muse
Meatloaf
Pink
Nickleback
Beyonce
Paramore
Taylor Swift
Coldplay
Don Henley
MCR
Robert Pattinson
Blue Foundation
The Script
Billy Joel
Athlete
Alanis Morrisette
Carrie Underwood
Leanne Rimes
And even the Righteous Brothers.

Like i said, i don’t have a favourite type of genre because it’s the songs that stand out to me, not the style of music.
I prefer the meaningful ones, the ones that pull on your heart strings. The lyrics that could make you cry are always the ones that are beyond belief.
However, this may contradict what i am saying but, the band Muse have me addicted because of their style, the composition of the drums, the guitar, the bass, the piano. The words on some of the songs are great but what got me hooked was the music.

My favourite quotes from songs:

“You'll never change what's been and gone
May your smile... Shine on... Don't be scared” – Oasis (Stop crying your heart out)
“Look into your heart and you'll find that the sky is yours” – Jason Mraz (i’m yours)
“You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here” – Sarah McLachlan (arms of an angel)
“Running, down corridors, through automatic doors
Got to get to you, got to see this through
First night of your life, curled up on your own
Looking at you now, you would never know.” – Athlete (wires)
“Someday we'll all be gone
But lullabies go on and on
They never die that's how you and I will be” – Billy Joel (Lullaby)

There are loads more, i just think i have wrote loads already.
I might do a full blog on lyrics sometime : )

Overall, when i think about it, i don’t think you can ever pick your favourite artist ... your favourite song or even your favourite genre. Music is what feelings sound like. <3
My favourites change within the hour. : )

Take Care, Sophie xoxo

p.s blogs to come:
* Cystic Fibrosis
* All about me
* My Grandad Wilf
* Me and my teddybear.

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Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia!

Morning all,
Well today i want to express my love for writing. I hope i don’t bore you, of course if i do ... just close the tab and come back tomorrow ; )

So as you already know, i go through alot in my life. Good times, bad times; swings and roundabouts. One thing that has always kept me completely passionate about living is reading and writing.
Fictional or non-fictional i love them all.
You can quote me on this as i have said it many times before, but i love how words can have such a powerful effect on you.
They can transport you to a different place, make you feel things you’ve never felt before, make you go through things you’ve never experienced before. Take you places you’ve never been, see things you’ve never seen.
I love how words can awaken your imagination. How suddenly that little kid inside you appears again to paint pictures in your head.
I adore how writers have that ability to make you laugh, cry, inspire, imagine, FEEL things.
It amazes me.

Story Telling reveals meaning without committing the error of defining – Hannah Arendt

Some of my personal favourite writers are:
• Stephanie Myers – author of the twilight series as well as a thrilling book, ‘The Host’. Her absolutely amazingly, imaginative books have me hooked. If you go on her website, you can see why ... i would say i idolised her.
• Jacqueline Wilson – I don’t read her books anymore but as a child i was addicted to her writing. She was my favourite author from an early age.
• Charles Dickens – One of the most famous authors in the world. No explanation needed.
• Roald Dahl – Yet again an author that needs no explanation as to why i admire his work. To me Roald Dahl seems to make a riddle into an answer. I don’t know whether that makes sense to you, but it makes perfect sense to me. If you get the chance ... ask me what i mean by that and see if i can give you a good enough answer : )

Some of my favourite books are:
• Twilight Series – All four of them; i hear a fifth book is on the horizon though. : )
• The host – A novel that is fantastic, inventive, thoughtful, and powerful. It will definitely keep you reading and keep you thinking even after you have put the book down.
• Little Woman – it’s a novel by the American author, Louisa May Alcott. It’s a fairly old book but my grandma recommended it to me and since then it has been one of my favourites.
• Great Expectations – I love this book, i really do. When we had to do an English Literature essay on this in school i had a field day! Sad i know ; ) I love how Charles has a way of portraying himself in the character Pip.
• Of Mice And Men – This book i think everyone has done in school at some point. It has become one of my favourites, that’s for sure.

We all have idols – B B King

If you asked me who my idol’s were, i would answer my mum, dad and infact most of my family.
From a creative point of view... i idolise my Uncle Neil (you got a mention!!) AND Stephanie Myers.
No, i won’t be shutting up about this woman. : )
Stephanie Myers has openly admitted to crying whilst writing her novels because she feels everything her characters go through. I found that rather remarkable; if i do say so myself.
Words, as innocent and powerless as they seem, can become so good or evil when in the hands of someone that can combine them into the most powerful book of all time. Myers has completely enlightened and changed the way i write. She has corrupted my mind, filling me with the most influential and inspirational motivation i have ever come across. After reading through her website, (which she writes on once in a while), I had a sudden urge to write the story i really want to read that no-one has written yet. Her words are so dominant to me.
“I went back to Bella's senior year of high school and asked my little cast of characters, ‘What happened?’
I swiftly regretted asking them for the story. Because they gave me a story I wasn't expecting. More specifically, Edward told me something I didn't want to hear.
I should probably mention here that I am not crazy (that I know of), it's just that I am a character writer. I write my stories because of my characters; they are the motivation and the reward. The difficulty with strong, defined characters, though, is that you can't make them do something that is out of character. They have to be who they are and, as a writer, they're often out of your control.” – Stephanie Myers.
She is talking about writing the sequel to her first book, Twilight.
If that doesn’t explain why i admire this author so much ... i don’t know what will.

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. - William Wordsworth

So, i have mentioned authors that i adore and i have also talked about a couple of books that i love. I have written a paragraph on my ‘idol’. I think for the final paragraph, i will write about me.
I have written stories for as long as i can remember, they were usually the typical, ‘damsel in distress’ type of things.
I recall writing one that was similar to ‘Rapunzal’ when i was around the age of 9 or 10.
The main character was the damsel’s dog! Say’s alot about the story doesn’t it!
As i got older, i moved onto more trivial things, my writing matured and i involved the reader alot more.
I would call myself a character writer. My stories revolve around the character and are told by the character. My imagination is let loose; however when i read through my work, i bear in mind what i think the reader would say. I try to make the reader feel like he or she is the one telling the story. That’s how i love to feel when i am the ‘audience’.
I like a book to grab me from the very first line.
A story needs to have a beginning, a middle and an end; i just think it’s better when you switch things and put things in different orders.
If ever you read one of my stories, you’ll notice that the first paragraph of chapter one is always the character’s opinion of what has happened ... but it doesn’t tell you what has happened exactly. It makes you not only want ... but need to keep reading. It attaches you instantly, making you addicted to the story unravelling inside your head. Making you guess what’s happened, what’s gone on?
Making you hooked on the character telling the story because they are the only lead you have.
I loved drawing the pictures that my inner child painted in my head. I just could never get it to look exactly how it appeared in my mind. However, with writing, i discovered i could get it to look completely the same.

I am strongly guided by music when i write.
Nothing else gets me motivated then music. Nothing else stirs up my emotions then music.
I never write in silence, some people find it easier to concentrate, i don’t atall. It becomes harder for me to concentrate because i then get distracted by little noises downstairs or outside.
At least when i am listening to music, the lyrics of a song is encouraging me to continue.
They do this by opening closed doors, making me feel emotion as i am writing.
Sometimes, the inspiration for the next song i will be playing comes from what i am writing.
I love it when that happens, because then it’s like a soundtrack for that particular scene.
For instance, let’s say an upsetting part of the story i am writing is coming up ... i’ll listen to:
* Fix You – Coldplay
* Uninvited – Alanis Morrisette
*Unintended – Muse

An upbeat happy part of the story:
*Mr Brightside – The Killers
*I’m Yours – Jason Mraz
* Wouldn’t it be nice – Beach Boys

An action pact part in my stories:
*Supermassive black hole – Muse
*Ya Mamma – Fatboy Slim (generic action –scene music)
* I’m not okay – MCR

As you can see music helps to get my creative juices flowing. : )
I can't write without music. It’s definatly an impossibility.
Someone once told me that being an author was like being in charge of your own personal insane asylum.
In my head, there are thousands of characters just waiting to come alive. They’re just waiting for that tiny flare of inspiration that will kick start their personal story.

On the other hand, my blogs just seem to flow. I don’t know where they come from ... they just
burst through the seams, enter my fingertips and then appear on the computer screen as if by magic. Writing my blogs has become such a process of discovery that i actually can’t wait to wake up and see what i am going to say or talk about today. It started off being a way to express myself and inform people about the ‘behind the scenes’ of CF.
This then spiralled into being a way to let whatever was cramming up inside my head out. A way in which i could just write down whatever came to my head and then type it up on my laptop.
Amazingly, you all love it ... you all keep coming back for the next instalment.
It’s great : )
I not only do it for my benefit but i also do it for everyone who reads as well.
Everyone likes a nosey through someone’s diary right?
Over the weekend i have had ‘writer’s block’ ... i just couldn’t motivate myself to write. I had nothing to write about and i struggled to write the one yesterday about my Nana Flo. One day i will re-write that and do my Nana justice. The legend that she is :D

If i didn’t write to empty my mind i’d go mad.
Since i have been writing; i’ve taught myself alot and i understand myself alot more too.
I think other people are starting to understand too : )

Okay, so four pages after and my blog is completed.
Thankyou for reading : )
Take Care, Sophie xoxo

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