Day 13

SPOILER: i thought i had nothing to write about.. Prepare yourself for a mini rant!

it's been a while and i am getting the urge to spend. Spend. SPEND!

think it is the boredom of being in here now.

i'm afraid i am a bit rubbish. i don't have very much to say. i have a meeting with the doctor tomorrow about transplant and referral etc so think my heads just focused on that to be thinking about anything else.

did my lung functions today, they've dropped from the last time i did them which completely deflated me so wasn't really feeling so very chirpy.
i decided to call my nan.. after having a good long chat with her, i felt better. we talked about a few things and i just want to say, she's an amazing woman. the absolute queen of the family but a queen of a woman also.

Been lay here debating whether to write a blog or not tonight as didn't feel like i have much to say. head in the clouds just like it used to be.

i think about how things were far too often. it's a happier and healthier time. life is funny isn't it? i really do think i live in the past far too much, more than i should but i can't help myself.
when you're stuck in the mud and don't move from we're you're stood, you see everyone pass you by, doing things you want to do, achieving things you want to achieve.. you can't help but think of how things used to be or how you thought things would be now and how far from the truth that is now. quite sad really when you think of it.

i guess it's like being a young person in an old persons body, which is probably more infuriating right?
is that bias?
I mean, you want to do all these things that 19-20 year old friends or kids from school are doing but you can't. You can't keep up with them, physically and mentally. You just can't.

So instead you watch and hear and grow bitter and jealous.
It's not nice. Not nice at all.

I have become such a bitter person about certain things purely based on jealousy.

I was talking to a school friend on twitter about school and how perfect it was and how i would do anything to go back to those days. She agreed but we had completely different reasons of course.

However, two other people wrote tweets that where quite clearly provoked by me & my friends tweets. One was saying how much they hated school.
The other person i feel was having a little dig at me.

"Don't get how someone can miss school.. worst days of my life. All about uni & the boyf & sessions with the friends! #you'relivinginthepast #timetogrowup #justsayin"

I know i am making an assumption and that's their opinion of course that may not even have anything to do with me.. but some people should get there focus out of the rose tinted glasses and view the world through other people's looking glass.

More to life then "sessions with the besties" and snuggles with the 3rd "boyf" you've had this year alone.
But of course i am.. "#justsayin"

Bit of a rant over with now :)
Sorry guys been a weird day!

Finally, it's been national no smoking day today and if you smoke and would like to cut down or quit... Throw those nicotine patches and gum in the bin and get yourself an Electronic Cigarette.
I think they're the best thing invented in a while.
There's no need to waste your money on those smelly, disgusting and vile sticks of suicide when you get everything you crave from the water vapours expressed from an E-Cig.

Save money, save your lungs, save your heart, save your life and those in close proximity of your second hand smoke!

No tar, no tobacco, no foul smell, no bad chemicals destroying your perfectly healthy insides and no extortionate amount of money being spent each week!

you've been smoking for many years and think the damage has already been done?....

Did you know?!

After 8 hours, The carbon monoxide level in your blood drops.

After 24 hours, your chance to having a heart attack decreases.

After 48 hours, your ability to smell and taste improves.

After 72 hours, lung capacity increases. Breathing can become easier.

After 2 weeks to 3 months, your circulation improves, Walking becomes easier. Lung functioning may increase by up to 20%.

After 1- 9 months, coughing, sinus congestion, fatigue, shortness of breath may decrease. Your cilia- those microscopic hairs that line your lungs- may even begin to re-grow and that can help clean the lungs and reduce your chance of infection.

After 1 year or just after 12 months down the road and you’ve cut your risk of heart disease in half.

Your lungs repair themselves for the dame you have done to them all by yourself. Your body is an amazing thing, don't you think it's time to take care of it instead of abusing it?

Consider yourself lucky.
Tomorrow i chat to my doctor about the transition of transplant because the damage to my lungs is unrepairable and the damage to my lungs is through no fault of my own.

Where's the fairness in that?

Day 13:- treat

Midnight snack ;)

Sweet dreams bedbugs..
Sophie xoxo

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