Day 16

Want to go home.
Don't want to be here anymore.
Want to stop overthinking.
Want to keep busy.

i'm here, i'm actually still here, can you see me waving? 

can you hear me singing?

can you feel me giving you a cuddle?

the little turtle sophie is saying, "i'm still here inside this shell of a body that is letting me down man!"

It's hit me.
That brick wall athletes talk about when running a marathon.
You know that there can't possibly be too long left but you've hit it. These extra few days mean you have to push harder because they feel longer, your mood is lower and so overall each minute that passes gets tediously slower.
You lose yourself in hospital. You're in these four walls and the only peice of yu that you have with you is your pyjamas & clothes.
That is it.
No home, no people to go and meet up with and chat.
It's just you and your CF and professionals that work with you on your CF.
Ever find yourself thinking?

WHO AM I ?!

AM I CF?

NOOOOOOO... i am sophie wheeler.
i'm here, i'm actually still here, can you see me waving?
can you hear me singing?
can you feel me giving you a cuddle?
the little turtle sophie is saying, "i'm still here inside this shell of a body that is letting me down man!"
shap yo'self and get your arse into gear you rickety useless thing!!

so i go in the gym and i push myself too far, anything to get that lung function up but it's not going up.. grrr!!
so now what?

i'll tell you what, you accept it and you live with it.
it's easy to get frustrated, so very easy to feel disappointed in yourself and your effort.
everyone tells you that you're trying your best and that's all that can be asked but it's never good enough is it?
you don't listen to these people!! haha.
there's nothing i can do about my lung funtions or my heart rate or these other little problems that arise.
all i can do is keep doing what i am doing which is the best i can do.
if it doesn't work, i tried didn't i.

i'm here, i'm actually still here, can you see me waving? 

can you hear me singing?

can you feel me giving you a cuddle?

the little turtle sophie is saying, "i'm still here inside this shell of a body that is letting me down man!"

shap yo'self and get your arse into gear you rickety useless thing!!

Day 16:- Sun Ray Bathe

I didn't have a picture of the sun rays, don't have the best room with a view for the sky so i am using a picture of the best dog in the world chilling out in the sun last year.. hopefully, summer will come around very soon and i can start feeling better and happier in the sunshine.

Night night bedbugs...

Sophie xoxo

i'm here, i'm actually still here, can you see me waving? 

can you hear me singing?

can you feel me giving you a cuddle?

the little turtle sophie is saying, "i'm still here inside this shell of a body that is letting me down man!"

shap yo'self and get your arse into gear you rickety useless thing!!

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